Re: been awhile since I have posted

[Guest guest]

Sharon,

One of our biggest struggles with chronic pain is getting family and friends to

understand. Pain is such an individual experience and it impacts each of us in

unique ways. People who do not have chronic pain do not, and I believe, cannot

" know " what your pain is like. It is unfortunate that he is not even trying to

understand you pain and its impact on your life.

I have stumbled on one way for non-chronic pain people to get an idea of what

our lives might be like. Unfortunately, that non-chronic pain person has to

experience just a tad of pain. For example, my father got a tremendous muscle

ache that knocked him out of service. He spent most of his time trying to sleep

it off when he was not with doctors. It only lasted a week, but it gave him a

sense of what it is like to have chronic pain on a daily basis. Toothaches,

pulled muscles, joint pain or just plain illness (ex. flu) are all good chance

of talking to your boyfriend about how he is feeling right now and that you feel

worse every day. But we should not harm anyone.

So keep talking to him. Find example to discuss with him. Maybe even take him

with you on visit to the pain doctor, if that is appropriate in you

relationship with him. Else, please ignore that suggestion. Sooner or later,

he'll understand. I hope it is sooner.

Good luck. And hugs,

> Sharon wrote:

> But, I have a boyfriend that just does not get it.

[Guest guest]

>Sharon in Texas wrote:

> Hello all,

>

>

> It has been a while since I have posted, and I find the need for people that

understand what I am going through. I have MS, chronic inflammatory

demylinating polyneuropathy, and osteoarthritis.

>

> Some days, I fight to get through the day, and some days, it is not so bad.

But, of course, I am never pain free, and won't ever be. But, I still work and

will until I no longer can.

> But, he (pain management doctor) thinks that I should be able to get by on 3

10mg hydrocodone a day. My script instructions are 1 to 2 tabs every 4 to 6

hours a day as needed. And yes, some days 3 is not bad. But, those days are

few and far in between. And he doesn't like the fact that I am even taking pain

meds anyway.

Sharon,

Get a thick rubber band or blood pressure cuff and twist it tightly with stick

(simulated inflammation), let him where it awhile and then tal to you. Put a

clothes pin

on his skin and see what pinched nerve feels like.

Have hi sit on sharp tacks in a chair and that simulates nerve pain , sciatic

pain. Just to give an idea. I know we have done off topics to describe

conditions and fibromylagia flares feel like having a porcupine needles stuck

inward all over my body.

My endoentormetrious cramps felt like someone took an edge of my skin and let it

raw like bicycle scrapes.

To have them experience weakness, have them tie weights on them and make them do

your errands. I had weakness as I feel if I don't keep fighting, I will let

loose and die but I just think that I need to let loose and rest.

Paintopics.org has a section on art that patients that depicts their pain and I

have empathy and I saw this presentation plus the art about the Holocaust and

when I read, Victor els book on " Man's Search for Meaning " speaks about

how no one can take your dignity away and the survivors were the ones who got up

every morning and folding the shoddy straggle rag and made his bed and shared

his burnt rice as the gave the prisons of war the burnt part and later on they

found out that is where the nutrition actually encapsulated in and the captors

thought they were giving them slop.

I have heard several Prisoners of War speak and I am awed thinking, Could I do

that? They kept their mind distracted thinking of home good things, planning

their homes, " The Bridge over the River Kwai " with Niven is one of my

favorite movies and my husband actually get up and march one behind each other

whistling the tune. Silly isn't but you just can't lose your humor. We like

Casablanca and he calls me Slim and I call him Rick, and he says, Play It Again,

Sam, and I sing, Just Remember this a kiss is just a kiss as time goes by " . If

we say MOON spells dog needs out, we know we have those memories.

It is so important to hang on to those memories and find other ways to love, I

read to my husband, he reads to me. We have a picnic in the bed and I know he is

antsy, so I say go and I will call him and tell him how thankful I am for him.

An old movie was one this weekend , " The Best Years of Our Lives " and it relates

to men returning from war and how relationship changes and the best years of our

lives were taken.

Because I worked in the cancer field early in my life, 18 on and stayed as a

caregiver to severely handicapped children / families and my first marriage

failed as my ex husband would not quite smoking pot and had no goals. I was

supporting us, doing everything, and presenting us as a devoted family.

I found my soul mate who is by my side, goes to Doctor appointments, reads

articles, and does not push me anymore.

The point I got off target was is that no one can ever feel what you feel

exactly by reading and learning as there is many articles out there for him to

read or support classes to go to.

Bennie (Austin)