My Nada May Very Well Have Lymphoma

June 7, 2010

I spoke to nada on Friday and she told me she can barely raise her right arm

(she is right handed) and has a lump under her armpit the size of a goose egg.

Since she is not only prone to exaggeration to get sympathy but also outright

lies as she lives in her own fantasy world of her own making, I didn't believe

her. The last time she had a lump like this it was behind her right knee about

a year ago. Of course she didn't tell her doctor even though she said at the

time she could 'barely walk'. It WAS confirmed she had this lump by her

neighbor and a saintly woman for continuing all this time to take nada out

grocery shopping and to the bank etc., but anyway. This woman is lucid, in the

real world and not a BPD nor is she demented so I can believe what she tells me.

Nada does not know that we talk on the phone weekly or more often if things are

going on with nada that I want to know the truth about. Anyway the other goose

egg behind her leg remained and even though nada was afraid that it was cancer

and she was seeing her doctor in a few days at the time, she never mentioned it

for fear of them 'putting her in a nursing home'. At the time she was still

allowing blood tests to be done, which she hasn't been since then even though

she has diabetes which is uncontrolled also. Nor does she check her own blood

daily of course. Anyway even though the doctor called me then to tell me that

she did NOT like the looks of her blood tests and told nada she needed to go for

more blood work, my nada refused so the doctor had called me to 'convince her'.

Good luck on convincing nada to do ANYTHING nada doesn't want to do anyway and

if it comes from me 'the moron' who is 'the stupidest person in the U.S.A.' then

of course nada won't listen. Flash forward to the present. She now has another

lump under her right arm which just blew up out of nowhere and is also into the

right breast. I called her neighbor/volunteer helper Kathy Saturday morning who

told me that nada in fact DOES have the lump as my nada had shown her and of

course Kathy tried to convince nada to go to the Emergency Room immediately -

she'd take her - to find out what it is. Nada told Kathy and myself on the

phone that she does not EVER want to be put in the hospital let alone go there

willingly as they will put her in a nursing home if she does. Kathy dropped the

subject as she knows there is no talking to nada once she makes up her mind

about anything.

Nada has all the symptoms this past year of having lymphoma and Kathy told me

she is also throwing up almost everything she eats now daily (nada WAS throwing

up blood for 4 months before she said anything to her doctor and even then told

the doctor it was 'just regular throw up' but it really looked like 'dark coffee

grounds' which Kathy had witnessed after going out to lunch with nada on a few

occasions and cleaning it up for nada at that point as nada was in sad shape.

Of course there is nothing any of us can do to force nada to do what is right

and my nurse practitioner/mental health therapist friend up here tells me that

nada most likely HAS lymphoma at stage 4 at this point and only 2 to 4 months to

live is her guess. We all thought stomach cancer before, but who knows.

My question is if nada asks me for advice on whether or not she should tell her

doctor, what should I say? Kathy asked me the same question on Saturday and I

told Kathy for her part, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't

so tell nada it is her choice. Nada said she thinks she has cancer and if she

does, she does not want any medications, chemo, radiation and of course never

mentioned surgery but as she needs a knee cap replacement also and when her

doctor mentioned that to me awhile ago I asked if nada would make it through the

surgery in her very poor condition with a bad heart, uncontrolled diabetes,

hypertension and add rheumatoid arthritis to the mix (these are the ailments

the doctor knows about) and she said no so I told this doctor, what's the point

then.

Nada can hardly walk now according to Kathy and only with extreme difficulty;

nada is 70 lbs. underweight and the doctor is giving her some vitamin they only

give to anorexics my mental health therapist friend told me (her background

prior to that was an R.N. on a cancer ward, in E.R. and on the geriatrics floor

before taking more schooling/training and becoming a mental health

therapist/nurse practitioner. Nada was given 17 prescriptions last time she

went to the doctor for vomiting/nausea; diabetes; etc but nada told me the

doctor is trying to kill her because she can't get her in a nursing home to make

even more $ off her so she takes only 3 of the 17 pills that are prescribed

because 'she likes the sounds of the names of those'.

At this point it is an anti-climax for me with nada if she does have lymphoma

which there is no other explanation for that lump my friend says with her

symptoms and given all her history etc. that's what she most likely has. Part

of me feels guilty for not even crying that nada is probably finally dying at a

quicker rate and these ARE the final days also which doesn't help. I convinced

myself that she is better off as the quality of life means a lot and she won't

GET better. She has been a thorn in my side obviously all my life in most ways

but it's not about me. Any suggestions?

June 7, 2010

my nada had lymphoma...TWICE !!! once in 1992 the other time 2004...and yet

she still lives !! she's so mean, even cancer cant killer !!

I've had lymph nodes swell up...and be rock hard...from a tick bite...

Jackie

I spoke to nada on Friday and she told me she can barely raise her right arm

(she is right handed) and has a lump under her armpit the size of a goose

egg. Since she is not only prone to exaggeration to get sympathy but also

outright lies as she lives in her own fantasy world of her own making, I

didn't believe her. The last time she had a lump like this it was behind

her right knee about a year ago. Of course she didn't tell her doctor even

though she said at the time she could 'barely walk'. It WAS confirmed she

had this lump by her neighbor and a saintly woman for continuing all this

time to take nada out grocery shopping and to the bank etc., but anyway.

This woman is lucid, in the real world and not a BPD nor is she demented so

I can believe what she tells me. Nada does not know that we talk on the

phone weekly or more often if things are going on with nada that I want to

know the truth about. Anyway the other goose egg behind her leg remained

and even though nada was afraid that it was cancer and she was seeing her

doctor in a few days at the time, she never mentioned it for fear of them

'putting her in a nursing home'. At the time she was still allowing blood

tests to be done, which she hasn't been since then even though she has

diabetes which is uncontrolled also. Nor does she check her own blood daily

of course. Anyway even though the doctor called me then to tell me that she

did NOT like the looks of her blood tests and told nada she needed to go for

more blood work, my nada refused so the doctor had called me to 'convince

her'. Good luck on convincing nada to do ANYTHING nada doesn't want to do

anyway and if it comes from me 'the moron' who is 'the stupidest person in

the U.S.A.' then of course nada won't listen. Flash forward to the present.

She now has another lump under her right arm which just blew up out of

nowhere and is also into the right breast. I called her neighbor/volunteer

helper Kathy Saturday morning who told me that nada in fact DOES have the

lump as my nada had shown her and of course Kathy tried to convince nada to

go to the Emergency Room immediately - she'd take her - to find out what it

is. Nada told Kathy and myself on the phone that she does not EVER want to

be put in the hospital let alone go there willingly as they will put her in

a nursing home if she does. Kathy dropped the subject as she knows there is

no talking to nada once she makes up her mind about anything.

Nada has all the symptoms this past year of having lymphoma and Kathy told

me she is also throwing up almost everything she eats now daily (nada WAS

throwing up blood for 4 months before she said anything to her doctor and

even then told the doctor it was 'just regular throw up' but it really

looked like 'dark coffee grounds' which Kathy had witnessed after going out

to lunch with nada on a few occasions and cleaning it up for nada at that

point as nada was in sad shape.

Of course there is nothing any of us can do to force nada to do what is

right and my nurse practitioner/mental health therapist friend up here tells

me that nada most likely HAS lymphoma at stage 4 at this point and only 2 to

4 months to live is her guess. We all thought stomach cancer before, but

who knows.

My question is if nada asks me for advice on whether or not she should tell

her doctor, what should I say? Kathy asked me the same question on Saturday

and I told Kathy for her part, you're damned if you do and you're damned if

you don't so tell nada it is her choice. Nada said she thinks she has

cancer and if she does, she does not want any medications, chemo, radiation

and of course never mentioned surgery but as she needs a knee cap

replacement also and when her doctor mentioned that to me awhile ago I asked

if nada would make it through the surgery in her very poor condition with a

bad heart, uncontrolled diabetes, hypertension and add rheumatoid arthritis

to the mix (these are the ailments the doctor knows about) and she said no

so I told this doctor, what's the point then.

Nada can hardly walk now according to Kathy and only with extreme

difficulty; nada is 70 lbs. underweight and the doctor is giving her some

vitamin they only give to anorexics my mental health therapist friend told

me (her background prior to that was an R.N. on a cancer ward, in E.R. and

on the geriatrics floor before taking more schooling/training and becoming a

mental health therapist/nurse practitioner. Nada was given 17 prescriptions

last time she went to the doctor for vomiting/nausea; diabetes; etc but nada

told me the doctor is trying to kill her because she can't get her in a

nursing home to make even more $ off her so she takes only 3 of the 17 pills

that are prescribed because 'she likes the sounds of the names of those'.

At this point it is an anti-climax for me with nada if she does have

lymphoma which there is no other explanation for that lump my friend says

with her symptoms and given all her history etc. that's what she most likely

has. Part of me feels guilty for not even crying that nada is probably

finally dying at a quicker rate and these ARE the final days also which

doesn't help. I convinced myself that she is better off as the quality of

life means a lot and she won't GET better. She has been a thorn in my side

obviously all my life in most ways but it's not about me. Any suggestions?

June 7, 2010

Marilyn quite honestly it sounds like she has been trying to go for a very long

time. Maybe she can finally get some peace when she does. I'm sorry it all has

to be this way for you.

>

> I spoke to nada on Friday and she told me she can barely raise her right arm