Re: Memory Lane

[Guest guest]

Lyndi,

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm having a sleepless, pain filled, feeling bad

about everything night, and I needed a story like that to kick me in the seat.

People like your friend are special. I have been struggling with the fact that

I am developing a stammer/ stutter, among other things. It seems so innocuous,

but it's been really upsetting to me.

After serendipitously seeing 3 Missionaries of Charity (Mother Theresa's order

of sisters) on my way to the Drs earlier this week, I had an epiphany that I

needed to focus on being thankful for what I have. I need to find a way to see

that " food I don't have to cook is extra nice to eat " in everything in life.

Thank you for sharing and reminding me of that as I toss and turn in self

absorbed distress.

I only leave my house for medical appointments, and don't interact with the

outside world much, so it's very easy for me to get stuck inside myself.

Forty-six years after her death, your friend's graciousness has touched another

soul -- through you! Thanks again!

Be well,

Jen

>Lyndi wrote:

> Hi All

>

> Today, I've been thinking a great deal about the one amazing person, who

> profoundly changed my life. All these years later, the way she lived and

> died, continues to affect the way I behave; right down to how I react to

> living with my own disabilities that get more serious and painful by the

> day.

>

> Back in November of 1965, I had just turned thirteen. Since I was

> finally old enough to volunteer in an adult capacity, I decided to

> volunteer at the Catholic nursing home in our little city. It was only a

> mile from our house, so I wasn't dependent on rides or buses. I either

> ran or walked everywhere in those days.

>

> There was an elderly lady in the nursing home, who became my heroine.

> She was 70 and had Type 1 diabetes. We called in Juvenile Diabetes back

> then. Of course, in those days, Type 1 Diabetes usually led to a fairly

> young death. But, from the time she was diagnosed at fourteen, she made

> it her goal to eat well, work hard, and get lots of fresh air and

> exercise. She never drank alcohol or smoked and kept a very positive

> outlook on life. She even managed to marry, work hard on the farm, and

> bear and raise three children. Even with all that, her almost lifelong

> diabetes eventually caught up with her.

>

> By the time I met her, she was 74 years old and totally blind. She had

> recently had both legs amputated just below the hip and her right arm

> amputated just above the elbow.

>

> But, she maintained her amazing outlook on life and on people. Of

> course, loosing her dominate arm/hand and going blind all in the same

> month, meant she couldn't do a very good job of feeding herself. So, on

> the days I was there, she always asked for me to be the one to help feed

> her. We bonded very quickly.

>

> My Mum soon agreed to let me go over to the nursing home, every evening

> at suppertime, so I could help my wonderful friend eat. I even walked

> the mile at 40 below and never thought a thing about it. (We northern

> Canadians are a tough lot. :-)

>

> Then came the day, about six months into our very close friendship, when

> she told me very gently that it was time for her to stop eating. She

> said that she was finally too tired to go on and she wanted to die

> peacefully. It wasn't anything dramatic, just kind and factual. I was

> one startled kid. But, I stuck with her, day after day, helping her sip

> black tea or juice, instead of eating a meal. I instinctively knew not

> to plead with her to eat. She remained gracious and concerned with

> others, even as she faded to a wisp. She died one afternoon while I was

> at school. I think I took it harder than her remaining far flung family

> members did.

>

> To this day, I can still see her laughing and telling me how delicious

> the beet greens she was eating were. She said any food that she didn't

> have too cook, was extra nice to eat.

>

> I wish everyone could have someone like that in their youth. She made

> so much difference to me and to my teenage typically self centred attitude.

>

> She died 46 years ago today.

>

> I've yet to meet another person as gracious as she.

[Guest guest]

Lyndi

Thank you so much for sharing about this woman. She must have been a fantastic

person! I worked in a nursing home in high school and I remember a couple

amazing people who dealt with the problems of aging with no complaints and such

dignity. I still remember them fondly now 40 years later.

My mom has been a huge inspiration to me. She was diagnosed with diabetes at

age 13. There no glucose meters nor oral medications. She took insulin 2 to 3

times a day. My mom also survived 3 bouts of TB, endocardititis and scarlet

fever. She never let her illnesses stop her from being active in the community

and being a supportive caring parent.

Sadly, her body began to let her down when she was 65 at which time she suffered

a stroke. She fought hard to regain her independence which she was only able to

do in a limited capacity. She never lost her confidence or pride even though

she could not even go to the bathroom without help.

At the age of 67 1/2, she rapidly lost her battle. Luckily the end decline was

quick. She had decreasing moments of being lucid. But in spite of that the

last things she said to me was that she was going to get better for me. she was

a fighter to the end.

Now that I struggle with chronic illnesses that limit my abilities and challenge

me daily, I think of my mom when I feel overwhelmed. I figure as her daughter I

can do it too.

My mom is still my inspiration 18 1/2 years after her passing.

I am so gratefully for all those who have left me with memories of courage in

the face of physical and mental challenges. It helps me manage mine.

Big hugs to all members of the group. We all are heroes in the battle.

Tami

> Lyndi wrote:

> Today, I've been thinking a great deal about the one amazing person, who

profoundly changed my life.

[Guest guest]

well said. thanks for the reminder of people like your mom and mine who just

kept going in spite of it all. it is inspirational. cathie in ct

> Tami wrote:

> My mom is still my inspiration 18 1/2 years after her passing.

I am so gratefully for all those who have left me with memories of courage in

the face of physical and mental challenges. It helps me manage mine.

>> Lyndi wrote:

>> Today, I've been thinking a great deal about the one amazing person, who

profoundly changed my life.

[Guest guest]

What a wonderful and inspiring story. Thanks for sharing. Gwen

[Guest guest]

>Jen Longley wrote:

>

> After serendipitously seeing 3 Missionaries of Charity (Mother Theresa's order

of sisters) on my way to the Drs earlier this week, I had an epiphany that I

needed to focus on being thankful for what I have. I need to find a way to see

that " food I don't have to cook is extra nice to eat " in everything in life.

Thank you for sharing and reminding me of that as I toss and turn in self

absorbed distress.

Jen,

I started out as a ward clerk and also assisted older people and some older

women made snide remarks about me sitting with " Mr. " as he was being

" dirty " . He was not, he was talking about his deceased children, his loneliness,

and his wife who he no longer had. He always shared his Juicy Fruit gum (which

I hated but grew to like) and enjoyed watching Mr. smile and those grumpy

ole women would have been grumpy anyway.

Jen, we were just talking about how my Dad made fun of my Sister who stuttered

but my Mother told her she was so smart she had so many thoughts at one time

trying to get out when others could not only say one. My Mother knew what it was

like to live under criticism and I cannot stand by when someone put others down.

You are a great person Jen (and now Lyndi's head is SOOOOOOOO swollen. I hope

she doesn't get headache) She is neat also along with other members here.

Bennie

[Guest guest]

Bennie,

Thank you for your kind words. Every time I see Juicy Fruit now, I will think

of Mr ! How thoughtful of you to take the time to get to know him. I am

sure he enjoyed your time together in the twilight of his life! And I am sure

those old biddies are still gossiping and complaining about something!

Stammering just another crazy thing that RSD has caused for me. I saw with my

neurologist, pain Dr & ENT (ear, nose & throat) Dr. Who starts to stammer at

40? I guess it's good that I don't leave the house except to go to the Drs/

medical appointments. I'm still just trying to focus on being thankful though!

Thanks again for your support!

Be well,

Jen

> Bennie wrote:

> I started out as a ward clerk and also assisted older people and some older

women made snide remarks about me sitting with " Mr. " as he was being

" dirty " .

[Guest guest]

Bennie wrote:

> (and now Lyndi's head is SOOOOOOOO swollen. I hope she doesn't get headache)

She is neat also along with other members here.

So Bennie. You are the reason for my headache! Humph!! :-)

I think you're 'swell' too. <grin>

Love Lyndi

[Guest guest]

I am SWELLtering with the heat in California and also my 4,000 pieces of spam

e-mail. I have missed all the good stuff from you guys. I will try to catch up.

sioux, susan, sue, sioux c

[Guest guest]

gotta agree with you on both it is 105 today with no relief in sight and its

been that way for at least 3 weeks now it just makes the body itch with pain and

does not feel like doing anything. hate feeling like this

[Guest guest]

Our weather in Central CA is like that, william sloan.

I think it makes my pain worse even though I live in good air conditioning.

Sue, susan, susie

> william wrote:

> gotta agree with you on both it is 105 today with no relief in sight and its

been that way for at least 3 weeks now it just makes the body itch with pain and

does not feel like doing anything. hate feeling like this