Texas Ballerina at the Bolshoi--BPD Mom?

[Guest guest]

Hi all, I was just very moved but also disturbed by a video the NY Times has up

right now. An extraordinary young ballerina from Texas has made her way all to

the best dance academy in Moscow--she is 15 and she lives there all by herself,

training to be a world class ballet dancer.

The video shows her extraordinary accomplishments arriving there--and then they

show her mother talking to her on Skype at Thanksgiving. 'I tell my friends you

are in Russia and they don't get it', says the mother, they don't know WHY you

have to be there. Way to support your kid 3 months after starting world class

schooling in a scary new country, Mom!

It gets worse. Later on in the feature, the girl has been hideously injured,

and a Russian doctor tells her that her foot must have surgery. Her mother

tells her--ON the hospital bed, that no, the family has no money, she cannot

have surgery, the family will not pay her tuition, and she must come home. This

is SO classic BPD Mom trying to harm you at your least vulnerable moment!!

Check it out though--this little teenager (KO, I should say), goes to the

Russian religious community and somebody GIVES her the money--to pay for the

surgery AND her tuition. And now, she's up for the starring role in an upcoming

production.

To me this is a classic KO story. KOs can find ourselves moved to take

extraordinary measures, and make extraordinary strides in this world--but, if we

are in touch with nadas or narcissist parents, they will try EVERYTHING they can

to keep up from succeeding. They will of course do it in a way 'disguised' as

concern. I was moved by this story. Not once did the poor girl--who is

obviously a dancing genius, and a treasure to the world of Ballet--not once did

she say she was grateful to her parents, or she couldn't have done it without

her parents. No--her parents were her main obstacle. Yet, their abuse might

also have been the only reason she was moved to such great heights of ambition.

Ah, to be a KO...

[Guest guest]

I was struck by what you said, I think you meant to say 'harm you at your most

vulnerable moment' as what a bpd mother does.

It struck me because even though my mother doesn't have an overly dramatic

personality, she does this ALL THE TIME to me. I never reached any height of

acheivement but certainly with my dad she does this. It's bizarre to me, it's

almost like she can't help herself.

It also has me thinking about le on Real Housewives again, she really does

seem to love and support her kids, maybe she is anti-social and not borderline.

Because the mothers people talk about on here really do go for the jugular. My

mother seems to be able to 'smell blood in the water' with me, and it's like she

can't resist.

>

> Hi all, I was just very moved but also disturbed by a video the NY Times has

up right now. An extraordinary young ballerina from Texas has made her way all

to the best dance academy in Moscow--she is 15 and she lives there all by

herself, training to be a world class ballet dancer.

>

> The video shows her extraordinary accomplishments arriving there--and then

they show her mother talking to her on Skype at Thanksgiving. 'I tell my

friends you are in Russia and they don't get it', says the mother, they don't

know WHY you have to be there. Way to support your kid 3 months after starting

world class schooling in a scary new country, Mom!

>

> It gets worse. Later on in the feature, the girl has been hideously injured,

and a Russian doctor tells her that her foot must have surgery. Her mother

tells her--ON the hospital bed, that no, the family has no money, she cannot

have surgery, the family will not pay her tuition, and she must come home. This

is SO classic BPD Mom trying to harm you at your least vulnerable moment!!

>

> Check it out though--this little teenager (KO, I should say), goes to the

Russian religious community and somebody GIVES her the money--to pay for the

surgery AND her tuition. And now, she's up for the starring role in an upcoming

production.

>

> To me this is a classic KO story. KOs can find ourselves moved to take

extraordinary measures, and make extraordinary strides in this world--but, if we

are in touch with nadas or narcissist parents, they will try EVERYTHING they can

to keep up from succeeding. They will of course do it in a way 'disguised' as

concern. I was moved by this story. Not once did the poor girl--who is

obviously a dancing genius, and a treasure to the world of Ballet--not once did

she say she was grateful to her parents, or she couldn't have done it without

her parents. No--her parents were her main obstacle. Yet, their abuse might

also have been the only reason she was moved to such great heights of ambition.

>

> Ah, to be a KO...

>

[Guest guest]

How terribly sad and yet I'm so proud of the young woman for being strong enough

to find support elsewhere. When you grow up in a home with a mom like that, you

tend to get beat down, worn out.

I know my mom was/is critical. When a teacher would call on me in class and if

I didn't know the answer, I would melt down in tears. I was so afraid that I

would be in trouble.

More recently (before a counselor explained to me what was going on with my

mom's behavior) I was in terrific pain and had to go to ER. Problem was my mom's

dog was at the vet and I was supposed to pick it up at 5 pm. I tried to convince

my doctor that I needed to do that first (because I knew my mom would get mad if

I didn't). My doctor got upset, threatened to call an ambulance to take me away.

She's so funny but concerned about me. Even then, my husband and I tried to make

some arrangement for my mom's dog. In the end, I went to ER, my mom insisted on

driving to the vet on her own in the dark even though the vet said they'd keep

him overnight. And then my mom was angry that she had to put her " life in

danger " driving at night. Thank God for the counselor that pointed me towards

freedom and that book " Stop Walking on Eggshells. "

>

> Hi all, I was just very moved but also disturbed by a video the NY Times has

up right now. An extraordinary young ballerina from Texas has made her way all

to the best dance academy in Moscow--she is 15 and she lives there all by

herself, training to be a world class ballet dancer.

>

> The video shows her extraordinary accomplishments arriving there--and then

they show her mother talking to her on Skype at Thanksgiving. 'I tell my

friends you are in Russia and they don't get it', says the mother, they don't

know WHY you have to be there. Way to support your kid 3 months after starting

world class schooling in a scary new country, Mom!

>

> It gets worse. Later on in the feature, the girl has been hideously injured,

and a Russian doctor tells her that her foot must have surgery. Her mother

tells her--ON the hospital bed, that no, the family has no money, she cannot

have surgery, the family will not pay her tuition, and she must come home. This

is SO classic BPD Mom trying to harm you at your least vulnerable moment!!

>

> Check it out though--this little teenager (KO, I should say), goes to the

Russian religious community and somebody GIVES her the money--to pay for the

surgery AND her tuition. And now, she's up for the starring role in an upcoming

production.

>

> To me this is a classic KO story. KOs can find ourselves moved to take

extraordinary measures, and make extraordinary strides in this world--but, if we

are in touch with nadas or narcissist parents, they will try EVERYTHING they can

to keep up from succeeding. They will of course do it in a way 'disguised' as

concern. I was moved by this story. Not once did the poor girl--who is

obviously a dancing genius, and a treasure to the world of Ballet--not once did

she say she was grateful to her parents, or she couldn't have done it without

her parents. No--her parents were her main obstacle. Yet, their abuse might

also have been the only reason she was moved to such great heights of ambition.

>

> Ah, to be a KO...

>

[Guest guest]

Wow.

Is there a link? I'd like to see this.

>

> Hi all, I was just very moved but also disturbed by a video the NY Times has

up right now. An extraordinary young ballerina from Texas has made her way all

to the best dance academy in Moscow--she is 15 and she lives there all by

herself, training to be a world class ballet dancer.

>

> The video shows her extraordinary accomplishments arriving there--and then

they show her mother talking to her on Skype at Thanksgiving. 'I tell my

friends you are in Russia and they don't get it', says the mother, they don't

know WHY you have to be there. Way to support your kid 3 months after starting

world class schooling in a scary new country, Mom!

>

> It gets worse. Later on in the feature, the girl has been hideously injured,

and a Russian doctor tells her that her foot must have surgery. Her mother

tells her--ON the hospital bed, that no, the family has no money, she cannot

have surgery, the family will not pay her tuition, and she must come home. This

is SO classic BPD Mom trying to harm you at your least vulnerable moment!!

>

> Check it out though--this little teenager (KO, I should say), goes to the

Russian religious community and somebody GIVES her the money--to pay for the

surgery AND her tuition. And now, she's up for the starring role in an upcoming

production.

>

> To me this is a classic KO story. KOs can find ourselves moved to take

extraordinary measures, and make extraordinary strides in this world--but, if we

are in touch with nadas or narcissist parents, they will try EVERYTHING they can

to keep up from succeeding. They will of course do it in a way 'disguised' as

concern. I was moved by this story. Not once did the poor girl--who is

obviously a dancing genius, and a treasure to the world of Ballet--not once did

she say she was grateful to her parents, or she couldn't have done it without

her parents. No--her parents were her main obstacle. Yet, their abuse might

also have been the only reason she was moved to such great heights of ambition.

>

> Ah, to be a KO...

>

[Guest guest]

Irene,

Just wanted to chime in with my own story, because your story about your

mother's dog jibbed perfectly with what happended to me today. I was at a work

meeting, and my supervisor was suppoed to go to a panel today, but we just found

out he's going to be gone all week because his mother-in-law died suddenly. Much

of the meeting was taken up by a scrabble by everybody else to cover all of his

duties for the week. I myself volunteered to go to a panel discussion tonight. I

called my mother and told her (because I had been going to her house that

night). Please note that at the time, we had NOTHING planned, when I go over

there, I just usually help with some chores. Well nada started screaming at me

(on my work phone at our open-plan office) that she has just made an appointment

with some renovators and needed me at her house tonight to " keep her dogs quiet

because the contractor doesn't like them. She kept screaming at me, until I hung

up, talked to my coworker (also a very good friend), who volunteered to go alone

without me. I called back nada, told her that I could come over tonight. Was she

happy? Of course she wasn't. There was more screaming and yelling. I asked her

calmly five times what time she wanted me over there. More screaming and

yelling, playing the matyr, refusing my help, degrading and demeaning me....etc,

etc. I hung up on her. Went back to my coworker, and recommitted myself to the

panel. Now, I am a social worker ,and deal with many people who have mental

health issues. When my friend/coworker heard the screaming over the phone, she

though that I was dealing with a particularly disturbed patient. I am so sick

and tired of trying to pretend to come from a normal family, and then have nada

humiliate me in front of friends, cowrokers, and the world at large. I am

disgusted with her selfishness, and ashamed to be her daughter.

> >

> > Hi all, I was just very moved but also disturbed by a video the NY Times has

up right now. An extraordinary young ballerina from Texas has made her way all

to the best dance academy in Moscow--she is 15 and she lives there all by

herself, training to be a world class ballet dancer.

> >

> > The video shows her extraordinary accomplishments arriving there--and then

they show her mother talking to her on Skype at Thanksgiving. 'I tell my

friends you are in Russia and they don't get it', says the mother, they don't

know WHY you have to be there. Way to support your kid 3 months after starting

world class schooling in a scary new country, Mom!

> >

> > It gets worse. Later on in the feature, the girl has been hideously

injured, and a Russian doctor tells her that her foot must have surgery. Her

mother tells her--ON the hospital bed, that no, the family has no money, she

cannot have surgery, the family will not pay her tuition, and she must come

home. This is SO classic BPD Mom trying to harm you at your least vulnerable

moment!!

> >

> > Check it out though--this little teenager (KO, I should say), goes to the

Russian religious community and somebody GIVES her the money--to pay for the

surgery AND her tuition. And now, she's up for the starring role in an upcoming

production.

> >

> > To me this is a classic KO story. KOs can find ourselves moved to take

extraordinary measures, and make extraordinary strides in this world--but, if we

are in touch with nadas or narcissist parents, they will try EVERYTHING they can

to keep up from succeeding. They will of course do it in a way 'disguised' as

concern. I was moved by this story. Not once did the poor girl--who is

obviously a dancing genius, and a treasure to the world of Ballet--not once did

she say she was grateful to her parents, or she couldn't have done it without

her parents. No--her parents were her main obstacle. Yet, their abuse might

also have been the only reason she was moved to such great heights of ambition.

> >

> > Ah, to be a KO...

> >

>