Challenging

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I must admit that I just don't know what to say to anyone face-to-face about

what is going on. I'm a 30 year old woman with a mother who has borderline. It

has been quite a journey, but I've really started to understand and cope with

the chaos that surrounds her at any given time. However, it is so frustrating

because I'm very close to graduating with my doctorate in clinical psychology,

and no matter how much understanding of mental health I have, it doesn't

translate into being able to handle my own mother. I have been able to be

successful in my field, and actually am an excellent therapist, but this

personal situation is a significant struggle.

Mother lived with me for some time, and then I was able to help her to get

disability and become financially independent. She recently moved out of state

to be closer to my sisters, and when I went home to visit this weekend she had

an emotional storm that was very hurtful to me. I called her on the drive home

to talk as we normally do, and she proceeded to yell at me for talking about

her, being out to get her, and telling her that she is always wrong and that she

can't tell me about her feelings. This is the typical run around in which I'm

the " golden child " and then suddenly switch to being some sort of imposter. It

used to bother me that these changes would occur, though my behavior and

treatment of her didn't change. It really is like a switch where I call one day

and blindsided by it.

I know alot about setting boundaries and not getting caught up in her cycle.

What is difficult for me though is dealing with the personal hurt, and not

carrying it around with me. It's hard to take a beating that you didn't deserve

and then to just shake it off. Even worse, there is a feeling that I should know

what to do because of my mental health background. I wonder how others cope with

the hurt that goes along with these types of emotional episodes?

E