Good evening to everyone

[Guest guest]

Well another night is up on me. Last 3 nights haven't been able to sleep due to

pain so bad. The pain gets so bad I just wantp to screem and cry. The

medications don't help at that point and I'm not going up higher on my dose of

methadone. God I hate taking it. My pharmacy gives me ugly looks and snide

remarks, not all of them but seems to be a big turnover at my Walgreens and it's

in a great part of town. Wonder why?

I'm also sure know the stress of losing a pain clinic doctor. I have read so

many nightmare stories about being kicked out for something so simple as missing

an appointment. One gal I read about killed herself nine days after the pain

clinic dismissed her as a patient. She had no medication left and just went

cold turkey and couldn't take it. God I fear that.

I honestly tell myself to quit thinking that way and just go on with life. Think

of different things. Chronic pain is horrible. Why I'm falling apart so fast.

Everything hurts everyday and night.

Everyone take care and have a peaceful night. Terry

[Guest guest]

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I have AVN (Avascular Necrosis /

osteonecrosis: which means my bones are dying from the inside out) so I have

some chronic bone pain too. But I also have 76 drug allergies. The latest

being Neurotin & Methadone so for Rx pain meds I am down to IV Fentanyl

premedicated with IV Benadryl. Which means I have to be on deaths door pain

wise and willing to be labeled a drug seeker by the local ER. I have a

port-a-cath so its not like they have to fight to get an IV anymore but they

aren't willing to give out pain meds quite so easily either.

I do go to a pain clinic but they just want to put in a pain pump, but

since the way they track my AVN is by MRI that is not an option since it would

have to be implanted which means no more MRIs and no way to track it.

AVN can also be tracked by bone scan but no surprise, I am allergic to the

radioactive dye they use for the scan. Ironically it is the same dye that is

used for cardiac stress tests so I can't have those anymore either.

There is one drug I MIGHT be able to have that is oral ~Nucynta~ but no one is

willing to even give me 2 tabs of it to see I would even tolerate it in the

future.

So at this point I get to take ibuprofen 2-3 times a day (with Benadryl). And

when the pain is really bad I can take Valium for the muscle relaxant properties

and ability to knock me out so hopefully when I wake up the pain will be better.

Does not always work to put me to sleep or to take away the pain.

And doesn't work well as the Mom of a little girl (will be 9 on July 14th) that

just lost her Gramma (May 8th) on a Special Day to her. The day she " bridged "

from Girl Scout Brownies to Juniors. 2 hours after Gramma (my Mom) was found,

Montanna bridged with no family but us her parents to watch every other Brownie

there had Grammas and Grampas, Aunts and Uncles there to watch. Montanna had

Terry and I, and that is it.

I am trying really hard to be a good Mom, but all I want to do is stay in bed

and cry. I feel like I am falling apart, but I cannot because then Montanna

would lose another person in her life. I cannot do that to her.

Sorry!

Anne

> Terry wrote:

> Last 3 nights haven't been able to sleep due to pain so bad. The pain gets so

bad I just want to scream and cry.

[Guest guest]

Terry, it is no way to have to live. My meds are not helping so much and I do

not want to up my dose either. What choices do we have? There's no cure to my

pain, is there any other thing you can do to help eliminate your pain?

Mine is basically spine, nerve, arthritis and fibromyalgia caused pains. Each

one I can tell the difference from but I feel there is no other choice but to

take my darned morphine. I do not want it and wonder what the pain would be like

without it.

We know the stress from being in pain causes negative health issues, the doctors

know it too.

Last night my little bitty dog decided to lick my feet and I fell asleep but

woke up awhile later and could not move into a good position.

Do you have trouble moving in bed or getting up out of a chair? I would love to

walk more but my bunions make my feet hurt so bad. I am doomed.

Tell you what though, it is good to know people who understand what it is like.

Oh and the looks are probably because people get methadone to help with drug

addictions. They probably think your a drug addict and not understanding you

take it for pain.

Jennette

> Terry wrote:

> My pharmacy gives me ugly looks and snide remarks, not all of them but seems

to be a big turnover at my Walgreens and it's in a great part of town. Wonder

why?