Re: Mothers Trying To Convince Me Of A STUPID Lie

[Guest guest]

I would be tempted to start going 'really? hmmm.' and then add, ' wonder what

the weather will be like today'.

i am learning my own lesson about engaging in this kind of thing. BPD see the

world the way they want to see it, not the way it is. if they try to enlist your

help and you disagree they get pissed at you. with my mother, she expects me to

be there so she can dump all over me about the situation in her house. I realize

part, though not all of the problem is stemming from her lack of ability to

assert herself and her desire to be a martyr. I am no longer going to be

assertive on her behalf nor am I going to listen to her whine. she's not happy

with me right now but I'm sick of being enlisted as 'big mama tit' and then

stabbed in the back at the first opportunity.

>

> It is her two real children...my Narc brother and sister who have drained her

finances, and wanted her home and everything she has.

>

> But, she has been, for the last several months been telling me that my dads

daughter from a first marriage (who has always been fair to her and kind) is

after her house. She tries to exagerrate with a stupid story about her also

wanting an out house and even drove her past it to show her...she sais. This is

stupid. But, my BPD mom also has dementia.

>

> So, my question is why is she trying to protect her children who have stolen

so much from her and been abusive by putting it on someone entirely different

who never would do this? Any ideas?

>

> I have gotten so sick of hearing this ridiculous crap about her " even wanting

the outhouse " that I can't tell you.

>

> I finally started telling her " No, it's your own children who want the house

and everything else you have. " Maybe, that is too frightening for her. Or,

maybe she is trying to protect them as they were reported to adult legal

services for elderly financial abuse.

>

> I'm just sick of it and stunned.

>

[Guest guest]

phine, Sounds so much like the past few years of my life. Relatives taking

advantage of her. She let them live in her house and abuse her. Seemed unable

to fend for herself and then drags you into it. You're right in not allowing

yourself to be pulled into the abuse with her.

I actually wish that I'd have forced my relatives out long ago. Because, of all

the drama they brought with them. It's much easier now that they are gone.

Though, it was hell getting them out. I finally admitted to myself, that I've

always been the " caretaker. " While, others were pretending to do something so

they could take advantage of her and they were causing so many more problems.

No matter how I try to see it otherwise, I am stuck as her caretaker. Luckily,

she does have some savings so I can hire people for a while. When she's out of

money...it will have to be a home. I can't do it anymore. But, atleast with

her dementia, I have enough control over the situations. Otherwise, I'd have

washed my hands of it to protect my own sanity.

> >

> > It is her two real children...my Narc brother and sister who have drained

her finances, and wanted her home and everything she has.

> >

> > But, she has been, for the last several months been telling me that my dads

daughter from a first marriage (who has always been fair to her and kind) is

after her house. She tries to exagerrate with a stupid story about her also

wanting an out house and even drove her past it to show her...she sais. This is

stupid. But, my BPD mom also has dementia.

> >

> > So, my question is why is she trying to protect her children who have stolen

so much from her and been abusive by putting it on someone entirely different

who never would do this? Any ideas?

> >

> > I have gotten so sick of hearing this ridiculous crap about her " even

wanting the outhouse " that I can't tell you.

> >

> > I finally started telling her " No, it's your own children who want the house

and everything else you have. " Maybe, that is too frightening for her. Or,

maybe she is trying to protect them as they were reported to adult legal

services for elderly financial abuse.

> >

> > I'm just sick of it and stunned.

> >

>