Guest guest Posted June 3, 2010 Report Share Posted June 3, 2010 - I'm so sorry to hear that you're losing a loved family member, no matter what the history is. I went through my FIL's funeral last summer, with the involvement of a horrible set of in-laws who carry chaos with them - so I know what you mean about wanting to be there to participate, but dreading the performance that will surely come. So I'd suggest this: make a game plan. You'll have two or three days' notice before you have to attend the funeral. Do you have a sibling, aunt, cousin, or good friend who can " have your back " at this event? Pair up with somebody who knows you well, understands your attitude toward your mom, and will stay with you the whole time. During the service itself, sit somewhere other than with Nada on the family pew. Then afterward, at the interment or reception (if you have one), this person will help to ward off the " secret assaults " that Nada might make on you if you were standing alone. When Nada approaches, the two of you move through the room to talk with other relatives. You engage in conversation - catching up, or telling stories about your grandmother - and when Nada heads your way, you either move to another group, or use the power of numbers to insulate yourself from her onslaught. If she really starts throwing a hissy, or aims loud comments at you, you just leave. Remove yourself from the situation immediately - no excuses, no apologies, nothing. " I see Mom's upset. I'm going home. It was so good to see you, Uncle Fred! " > > 15 years ago she was really sick with cancer and sepsis and made an amazing pull-through, but this time around the doctors are saying there's no hope. Basically almost all of her intestine is dead and she is too frail to survive any surgery, and even if she could they don't think she would have enough functional bowel left to support life anyway. > > The question of the week, of course, is Nada. Last time all this was going on, a lot of it was, of course, all about her. I was in my mid-20's and all up for spending the night in the hospital waiting room, which I did. My grandma would talk about that for years afterward, and nada always acted jealous. The Christmas after she was released from the hospital nada spent three weeks before the holiday festivities convincing herself that people in the family were mad at her and wouldn't talk to her. Christmas came and nada was absolutely devastated by people who " ignored her " when they were just acting like their normal selves. I kept getting tragic, tearful looks all day long, and she'd keep sidling over to me to point out how so-and-so wasn't talking to her. Then at the end of the day one of my grandparents' neighbors came over with a Christmas present for them and made a hunting joke (nada is RABID anti-hunting) and she LOST IT. Screamed and bawled and CRIED like you wouldn't believe for at least an hour and then when we got home, did it again. > > Fast forward to my brother's graduation from police academy. This time nada was mad at me because I wouldn't agree with her in a dispute she was having with a friend of hers. The same tragic looks and glances, sullen refusal to speak to anyone, and the like really made me uncomfortable and IMO ruined my brother's graduation night, which was all the worse because he had overcome years of underachievement to get to that point, and was in school for a college degree at the same time as going through police academy! I didn't think much at ALL of the behavior I witnessed, which played a big decision in me not inviting her to my wedding or going to my brother's wedding...something he was royally pissed about, but I am getting to the point where I just can't be around that anymore. At all. > > Add in the contretemps regarding situations like: Nada going out of her way to tell me someone had said I was fat in an email and then cutting all her hair off when I sent her a sarcastic email back again letting her know I thought it was insensitive of her to tell me that; nada flipping out when my brother and his first wife lived with her and didn't clean up after themselves, and going all over town sending my brother down the river to anyone who knew him who would listen, and sending him totally inappropriate emails at his job in the sheriff's dept., and you will see why I have been NC for almost the last four years. > > Now, her mother will most surely die in the next couple of days. There will be family gathering; there will be a funeral. I don't want to go, because I will have to see nada. I am afraid that either she will be doing her cringe-tragic face-and-point routine at me, thus making everyone there uncomfortable; or if she doesn't, then I will have to speak to her there and then it will be expected that I have to speak to her in the future. And I don't want to. I REALLY don't want to. > > OTOH, it will be my grandmother's funeral, other people might wonder why I don't show up or be mad at me because I didn't show up/hurt my mother's feelings/didn't show proper respect, or some other such thing. > > I at least got to go and see my grandmother for what I'm pretty sure will be the last time today. She was alert and talking, and on pain meds so she felt pretty good. I told her several times that I really loved her and that she was a great grandmother, and thanked her for all she had done for me growing up. I know that she and my grandfather helped create a lot of my problems by the way they raised nada, but then when nada was at her worst, they were the only people I could really count on. So they both sentenced me to some serious problems in life and saved me at the same time. > > I feel like I've done my most important job today. But, what do I do tomorrow? I could go back tomorrow, but nada will most surely be there. Same with the funeral. What do I do? > > Advice? Help? > > thanks. > > --. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 3, 2010 Report Share Posted June 3, 2010 Hi , I am also sorry to hear of your grandmother and I can see the terrible dilemma you face. I hate these things when you need to have your natural grief and saying goodbye to someone and then you have to deal with your nada making it, yet again, all about *her*. I know how hard that is; and I'm not really sure any answers, though I think you have gotten some good ones. I just wanted to offer you my sorrow for your situation and the impending loss of your grandmother... ~patricia My grandmother is dying 15 years ago she was really sick with cancer and sepsis and made an amazing pull-through, but this time around the doctors are saying there's no hope. Basically almost all of her intestine is dead and she is too frail to survive any surgery, and even if she could they don't think she would have enough functional bowel left to support life anyway. The question of the week, of course, is Nada. Last time all this was going on, a lot of it was, of course, all about her. I was in my mid-20's and all up for spending the night in the hospital waiting room, which I did. My grandma would talk about that for years afterward, and nada always acted jealous. The Christmas after she was released from the hospital nada spent three weeks before the holiday festivities convincing herself that people in the family were mad at her and wouldn't talk to her. Christmas came and nada was absolutely devastated by people who " ignored her " when they were just acting like their normal selves. I kept getting tragic, tearful looks all day long, and she'd keep sidling over to me to point out how so-and-so wasn't talking to her. Then at the end of the day one of my grandparents' neighbors came over with a Christmas present for them and made a hunting joke (nada is RABID anti-hunting) and she LOST IT. Screamed and bawled and CRIED like you wouldn't believe for at least an hour and then when we got home, did it again. Fast forward to my brother's graduation from police academy. This time nada was mad at me because I wouldn't agree with her in a dispute she was having with a friend of hers. The same tragic looks and glances, sullen refusal to speak to anyone, and the like really made me uncomfortable and IMO ruined my brother's graduation night, which was all the worse because he had overcome years of underachievement to get to that point, and was in school for a college degree at the same time as going through police academy! I didn't think much at ALL of the behavior I witnessed, which played a big decision in me not inviting her to my wedding or going to my brother's wedding...something he was royally pissed about, but I am getting to the point where I just can't be around that anymore. At all. Add in the contretemps regarding situations like: Nada going out of her way to tell me someone had said I was fat in an email and then cutting all her hair off when I sent her a sarcastic email back again letting her know I thought it was insensitive of her to tell me that; nada flipping out when my brother and his first wife lived with her and didn't clean up after themselves, and going all over town sending my brother down the river to anyone who knew him who would listen, and sending him totally inappropriate emails at his job in the sheriff's dept., and you will see why I have been NC for almost the last four years. Now, her mother will most surely die in the next couple of days. There will be family gathering; there will be a funeral. I don't want to go, because I will have to see nada. I am afraid that either she will be doing her cringe-tragic face-and-point routine at me, thus making everyone there uncomfortable; or if she doesn't, then I will have to speak to her there and then it will be expected that I have to speak to her in the future. And I don't want to. I REALLY don't want to. OTOH, it will be my grandmother's funeral, other people might wonder why I don't show up or be mad at me because I didn't show up/hurt my mother's feelings/didn't show proper respect, or some other such thing. I at least got to go and see my grandmother for what I'm pretty sure will be the last time today. She was alert and talking, and on pain meds so she felt pretty good. I told her several times that I really loved her and that she was a great grandmother, and thanked her for all she had done for me growing up. I know that she and my grandfather helped create a lot of my problems by the way they raised nada, but then when nada was at her worst, they were the only people I could really count on. So they both sentenced me to some serious problems in life and saved me at the same time. I feel like I've done my most important job today. But, what do I do tomorrow? I could go back tomorrow, but nada will most surely be there. Same with the funeral. What do I do? Advice? Help? thanks. --. ------------------------------------ Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP. To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community! From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 3, 2010 Report Share Posted June 3, 2010 > > - I'm so sorry to hear that you're losing a loved family member, no matter what the history is. I went through my FIL's funeral last summer, with the involvement of a horrible set of in-laws who carry chaos with them - so I know what you mean about wanting to be there to participate, but dreading the performance that will surely come. So I'd suggest this: make a game plan. You'll have two or three days' notice before you have to attend the funeral. Do you have a sibling, aunt, cousin, or good friend who can " have your back " at this event? Pair up with somebody who knows you well, understands your attitude toward your mom, and will stay with you the whole time. During the service itself, sit somewhere other than with Nada on the family pew... Hmm. This is indeed a thought. I'm sure my hubby would totally help me out. She wouldn't dare say anything to me with him there anyway. You can just tell by his demeanor that DH won't put up with crap. Won't stop her from grabbing my brother or someone else and doing her whole tragic-eyes-look-what-she's-doing-to-poor-poor-me garbage, though. I guess there isn't anything anybody can do about that, other than not showing up. But would it be worth it? How anybody can act the way I've just written and have NO CLUE why people are upset is just...stop me. She's mentally ill!! Anyway, I just got the news that my grandmother has made a totally miraculous turnaround. The doctors that were telling us yesterday that there was absolutely no hope are now starting her on a liquid diet and reporting that her blood work looks fabulous. Not bad for an 87 year old lady! --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2010 Report Share Posted June 5, 2010 i think you did what you could today, no need to subject yourself to nada tomorrow.. just my opinion.. but that is what i would do.. remember your grandmother as she was and let the funeral go.. best wishes, ann Subject: My grandmother is dying To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Wednesday, June 2, 2010, 8:47 PM  15 years ago she was really sick with cancer and sepsis and made an amazing pull-through, but this time around the doctors are saying there's no hope. Basically almost all of her intestine is dead and she is too frail to survive any surgery, and even if she could they don't think she would have enough functional bowel left to support life anyway. The question of the week, of course, is Nada. Last time all this was going on, a lot of it was, of course, all about her. I was in my mid-20's and all up for spending the night in the hospital waiting room, which I did. My grandma would talk about that for years afterward, and nada always acted jealous. The Christmas after she was released from the hospital nada spent three weeks before the holiday festivities convincing herself that people in the family were mad at her and wouldn't talk to her. Christmas came and nada was absolutely devastated by people who " ignored her " when they were just acting like their normal selves. I kept getting tragic, tearful looks all day long, and she'd keep sidling over to me to point out how so-and-so wasn't talking to her. Then at the end of the day one of my grandparents' neighbors came over with a Christmas present for them and made a hunting joke (nada is RABID anti-hunting) and she LOST IT. Screamed and bawled and CRIED like you wouldn't believe for at least an hour and then when we got home, did it again. Fast forward to my brother's graduation from police academy. This time nada was mad at me because I wouldn't agree with her in a dispute she was having with a friend of hers. The same tragic looks and glances, sullen refusal to speak to anyone, and the like really made me uncomfortable and IMO ruined my brother's graduation night, which was all the worse because he had overcome years of underachievement to get to that point, and was in school for a college degree at the same time as going through police academy! I didn't think much at ALL of the behavior I witnessed, which played a big decision in me not inviting her to my wedding or going to my brother's wedding...something he was royally pissed about, but I am getting to the point where I just can't be around that anymore. At all. Add in the contretemps regarding situations like: Nada going out of her way to tell me someone had said I was fat in an email and then cutting all her hair off when I sent her a sarcastic email back again letting her know I thought it was insensitive of her to tell me that; nada flipping out when my brother and his first wife lived with her and didn't clean up after themselves, and going all over town sending my brother down the river to anyone who knew him who would listen, and sending him totally inappropriate emails at his job in the sheriff's dept., and you will see why I have been NC for almost the last four years. Now, her mother will most surely die in the next couple of days. There will be family gathering; there will be a funeral. I don't want to go, because I will have to see nada. I am afraid that either she will be doing her cringe-tragic face-and-point routine at me, thus making everyone there uncomfortable; or if she doesn't, then I will have to speak to her there and then it will be expected that I have to speak to her in the future. And I don't want to. I REALLY don't want to. OTOH, it will be my grandmother's funeral, other people might wonder why I don't show up or be mad at me because I didn't show up/hurt my mother's feelings/didn't show proper respect, or some other such thing. I at least got to go and see my grandmother for what I'm pretty sure will be the last time today. She was alert and talking, and on pain meds so she felt pretty good. I told her several times that I really loved her and that she was a great grandmother, and thanked her for all she had done for me growing up. I know that she and my grandfather helped create a lot of my problems by the way they raised nada, but then when nada was at her worst, they were the only people I could really count on. So they both sentenced me to some serious problems in life and saved me at the same time. I feel like I've done my most important job today. But, what do I do tomorrow? I could go back tomorrow, but nada will most surely be there. Same with the funeral. What do I do? Advice? Help? thanks. --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2010 Report Share Posted June 6, 2010 One thing I know for sure is your grandmother will respect your decision and she will know and appreciate everything that is in your heart. Funerals are for the living I think. My grandmother came to me in a dream and gave me a quick hug, I think to let me know she loved me and was glad I was there for her at the end. Nothing anyone says (and believe me some things were said) mattered to me as much as that. It let me know that no matter what my grandmother knew the truth about what I had done to help her, no matter the crazy drama in my family. I miss her so much, I think she is probably the only truly sane member of our family. > > 15 years ago she was really sick with cancer and sepsis and made an amazing pull-through, but this time around the doctors are saying there's no hope. Basically almost all of her intestine is dead and she is too frail to survive any surgery, and even if she could they don't think she would have enough functional bowel left to support life anyway. > > The question of the week, of course, is Nada. Last time all this was going on, a lot of it was, of course, all about her. I was in my mid-20's and all up for spending the night in the hospital waiting room, which I did. My grandma would talk about that for years afterward, and nada always acted jealous. The Christmas after she was released from the hospital nada spent three weeks before the holiday festivities convincing herself that people in the family were mad at her and wouldn't talk to her. Christmas came and nada was absolutely devastated by people who " ignored her " when they were just acting like their normal selves. I kept getting tragic, tearful looks all day long, and she'd keep sidling over to me to point out how so-and-so wasn't talking to her. Then at the end of the day one of my grandparents' neighbors came over with a Christmas present for them and made a hunting joke (nada is RABID anti-hunting) and she LOST IT. Screamed and bawled and CRIED like you wouldn't believe for at least an hour and then when we got home, did it again. > > Fast forward to my brother's graduation from police academy. This time nada was mad at me because I wouldn't agree with her in a dispute she was having with a friend of hers. The same tragic looks and glances, sullen refusal to speak to anyone, and the like really made me uncomfortable and IMO ruined my brother's graduation night, which was all the worse because he had overcome years of underachievement to get to that point, and was in school for a college degree at the same time as going through police academy! I didn't think much at ALL of the behavior I witnessed, which played a big decision in me not inviting her to my wedding or going to my brother's wedding...something he was royally pissed about, but I am getting to the point where I just can't be around that anymore. At all. > > Add in the contretemps regarding situations like: Nada going out of her way to tell me someone had said I was fat in an email and then cutting all her hair off when I sent her a sarcastic email back again letting her know I thought it was insensitive of her to tell me that; nada flipping out when my brother and his first wife lived with her and didn't clean up after themselves, and going all over town sending my brother down the river to anyone who knew him who would listen, and sending him totally inappropriate emails at his job in the sheriff's dept., and you will see why I have been NC for almost the last four years. > > Now, her mother will most surely die in the next couple of days. There will be family gathering; there will be a funeral. I don't want to go, because I will have to see nada. I am afraid that either she will be doing her cringe-tragic face-and-point routine at me, thus making everyone there uncomfortable; or if she doesn't, then I will have to speak to her there and then it will be expected that I have to speak to her in the future. And I don't want to. I REALLY don't want to. > > OTOH, it will be my grandmother's funeral, other people might wonder why I don't show up or be mad at me because I didn't show up/hurt my mother's feelings/didn't show proper respect, or some other such thing. > > I at least got to go and see my grandmother for what I'm pretty sure will be the last time today. She was alert and talking, and on pain meds so she felt pretty good. I told her several times that I really loved her and that she was a great grandmother, and thanked her for all she had done for me growing up. I know that she and my grandfather helped create a lot of my problems by the way they raised nada, but then when nada was at her worst, they were the only people I could really count on. So they both sentenced me to some serious problems in life and saved me at the same time. > > I feel like I've done my most important job today. But, what do I do tomorrow? I could go back tomorrow, but nada will most surely be there. Same with the funeral. What do I do? > > Advice? Help? > > thanks. > > --. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2010 Report Share Posted June 6, 2010 Thanks everybody. Sad to say the improvement was a false alarm. The intestine is still really dead, and they can't do anymore. I guess she perked up in the hospital because of the painkillers and the IV fluids. They are sending her home to die. They think she has maybe a week left. --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2010 Report Share Posted June 6, 2010 I am truly sorry you are going through such a hard time. I believe that whatever you decide about attending the funeral will be the right choice. I hope fear of interacting with your mom would not prevent you from participating if that is what you truly want to do, and also that you would not feel guilty if you decide not to go. I think you are right either way. If you choose to go, others have made good suggestions about finding an ally there. You can also just be prepared just to say, " Mom, I'm not going to do this today, " if she sets in on you, and just walk away. I agree that you can sit apart from her or find someone else to visit with whenever you want to. When my dad's brother passed away a few years ago, I stayed with my sister and cousin the whole time, and I drove my own car to the cemetery, which saved me the pain of being stuck in a limo with my mom. If you decide not to go, a phone call or a note to your aunts/uncles/cousins could convey your condolences. You don't even have to make an excuse, just say, " I'm so sorry to have missed the funeral. She was special, and I missed saying goodbye with you, " etc. You don't need to worry what they will think if you're not there. I am happy to have encountered you during my visit back to the board this weekend. I think you are talented and seem to be doing well on your journey. KT > > 15 years ago she was really sick with cancer and sepsis and made an amazing pull-through, but this time around the doctors are saying there's no hope. Basically almost all of her intestine is dead and she is too frail to survive any surgery, and even if she could they don't think she would have enough functional bowel left to support life anyway. > > The question of the week, of course, is Nada. Last time all this was going on, a lot of it was, of course, all about her. I was in my mid-20's and all up for spending the night in the hospital waiting room, which I did. My grandma would talk about that for years afterward, and nada always acted jealous. The Christmas after she was released from the hospital nada spent three weeks before the holiday festivities convincing herself that people in the family were mad at her and wouldn't talk to her. Christmas came and nada was absolutely devastated by people who " ignored her " when they were just acting like their normal selves. I kept getting tragic, tearful looks all day long, and she'd keep sidling over to me to point out how so-and-so wasn't talking to her. Then at the end of the day one of my grandparents' neighbors came over with a Christmas present for them and made a hunting joke (nada is RABID anti-hunting) and she LOST IT. Screamed and bawled and CRIED like you wouldn't believe for at least an hour and then when we got home, did it again. > > Fast forward to my brother's graduation from police academy. This time nada was mad at me because I wouldn't agree with her in a dispute she was having with a friend of hers. The same tragic looks and glances, sullen refusal to speak to anyone, and the like really made me uncomfortable and IMO ruined my brother's graduation night, which was all the worse because he had overcome years of underachievement to get to that point, and was in school for a college degree at the same time as going through police academy! I didn't think much at ALL of the behavior I witnessed, which played a big decision in me not inviting her to my wedding or going to my brother's wedding...something he was royally pissed about, but I am getting to the point where I just can't be around that anymore. At all. > > Add in the contretemps regarding situations like: Nada going out of her way to tell me someone had said I was fat in an email and then cutting all her hair off when I sent her a sarcastic email back again letting her know I thought it was insensitive of her to tell me that; nada flipping out when my brother and his first wife lived with her and didn't clean up after themselves, and going all over town sending my brother down the river to anyone who knew him who would listen, and sending him totally inappropriate emails at his job in the sheriff's dept., and you will see why I have been NC for almost the last four years. > > Now, her mother will most surely die in the next couple of days. There will be family gathering; there will be a funeral. I don't want to go, because I will have to see nada. I am afraid that either she will be doing her cringe-tragic face-and-point routine at me, thus making everyone there uncomfortable; or if she doesn't, then I will have to speak to her there and then it will be expected that I have to speak to her in the future. And I don't want to. I REALLY don't want to. > > OTOH, it will be my grandmother's funeral, other people might wonder why I don't show up or be mad at me because I didn't show up/hurt my mother's feelings/didn't show proper respect, or some other such thing. > > I at least got to go and see my grandmother for what I'm pretty sure will be the last time today. She was alert and talking, and on pain meds so she felt pretty good. I told her several times that I really loved her and that she was a great grandmother, and thanked her for all she had done for me growing up. I know that she and my grandfather helped create a lot of my problems by the way they raised nada, but then when nada was at her worst, they were the only people I could really count on. So they both sentenced me to some serious problems in life and saved me at the same time. > > I feel like I've done my most important job today. But, what do I do tomorrow? I could go back tomorrow, but nada will most surely be there. Same with the funeral. What do I do? > > Advice? Help? > > thanks. > > --. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2010 Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Update: My grandma died on Monday. My uncle and aunt are taking care of the funeral arrangements, buying her a dress, etc. My uncle said nada showed up at the hospital for a final visit, and that she was walking the halls, blabbing at my stepfather and waving her hands around like a lunatic. He only shook their hands when he saw her! (I'm sure THAT went over well, and she is fuming to everyone who will listen about " How I was treated, " and " They don't love me, " and " They're leaving me out. " ) I wanted to go see my grandma one more time on Sunday, but hearing that I'm glad I didn't. My uncle called me on his cell to let me know nada was there, I think to warn me off! It's sad I couldn't go back one more time, but I got to see my grandma on last Wednesday while she was still the most like her old self, and I said all the things I most wanted her to hear. I think I knew then I'd never see her again. The funeral is tomorrow at 11. I said I wanted to go, and hubby already took off work (I'd never go without him!), so I guess I'm going. I imagine nada will be there. I don't know what to do, talk to her and hug her, ignore her, or what? I sure as hell don't want to invite further contact with her. All I need is her calling up here to complain about people again, thinking all is forgiven. I hope she won't show up, but I don't think I'll get that lucky. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks for the support on this thread. --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2010 Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 I wonder if you could enlist your uncle's help with redirecting nada to people who can tolerate her, if he sees her headed your way. And have a bunch of things ready for your husband to say, to make a graceful exit. Don't engage her if at all possible. If it were me, I'd say something totally bland, talk about the weather or something, then wander off. If you don't feed her drama, it can't grow. both my cents, Tina > > Update: My grandma died on Monday. My uncle and aunt are taking care of the funeral arrangements, buying her a dress, etc. My uncle said nada showed up at the hospital for a final visit, and that she was walking the halls, blabbing at my stepfather and waving her hands around like a lunatic. He only shook their hands when he saw her! (I'm sure THAT went over well, and she is fuming to everyone who will listen about " How I was treated, " and " They don't love me, " and " They're leaving me out. " ) I wanted to go see my grandma one more time on Sunday, but hearing that I'm glad I didn't. My uncle called me on his cell to let me know nada was there, I think to warn me off! > > It's sad I couldn't go back one more time, but I got to see my grandma on last Wednesday while she was still the most like her old self, and I said all the things I most wanted her to hear. I think I knew then I'd never see her again. > > The funeral is tomorrow at 11. I said I wanted to go, and hubby already took off work (I'd never go without him!), so I guess I'm going. I imagine nada will be there. I don't know what to do, talk to her and hug her, ignore her, or what? I sure as hell don't want to invite further contact with her. All I need is her calling up here to complain about people again, thinking all is forgiven. I hope she won't show up, but I don't think I'll get that lucky. > > I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks for the support on this thread. > > --. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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