learning about normal life

[Guest guest]

Hi friends, big hugs to all-

I've been posting about how I have a PD person in a supervisory position at

work. It's like the wierdest, most difficult twist of fate, really!

It's made so many fleas come up. And I realize how much fear I have, in

general.

Luckily, I have this really amazing mentor, who sees me for who I really am. My

mentor (outside of work) has been helping me with all kinds of strategies, such

as going around this PD person. Today I didn't see her, and I was without fear

of her. I actually had a really enjoyable day. There are a lot of good people

where I work.

This job, in terms of its description is a dream job, and I want to keep it.

My mentor has been helping me to document events, and tomorrow I have a meeting

with a supervisor above my supervisor. My mentor has practiced with me, what to

say, how to ask specific questions, etc.

My biggest hurdle to overcome has been internal; my fear of the lady with the

PD. Since I got the job about 6 months ago, I have been letting her push me

around in emotionally abusive and characteristically PD ways. I couldn't

believe how easy it was to call the secretary and request and appointment with

the higher up that I will see tomorrow. I am so going to go and discuss

specific issues in a way that my mentor told me to do!

I have hope, I think there is a way out of the fleas mess. Right now, I am

still in the thick of it, but I am trying to understand why I have this

experience at my dream job. I think maybe by having to confront and overcome my

worst fears, (which is sort of synonymous with my worst fleas in a way), this

experience will make me stronger than ever.

The biggest discovery so far is how great the other people at the job are, and

if I can avoid her, I don't have to cower in fear. I can spend my time

interacting with the fun and good people. I even went to a company social event

and had fun with the other people there and avoided Ms. PD! Even though it was

a birthday party for Ms PD!

That may sound kind of odd, that I am excited about that, but I am pleased with

myself, because so much of my struggle with fleas has been internal fears. So

much of my life has been about survival, and whenever anyone even slightly set

off my fleas, I would go run and hide. One mean person could ruin an entire

exciting plan for me. One mean person ruined an entire summer program for me

once, because they set off my fleas and then I avoided everyone else on the

program for the whole summer. I have spent most of my life in hiding.

This is a really big victory for me, that my mentor taught me to go around Ms

PD. It makes me get through a work day, but also, other people can see that

what Ms PD says about me is not true. I found out from others about this whole

smear campaign she has launched at work, from the very first week I was there.

I expected everyone to believe her, and I believed the negative about myself,

but my mentor has been helping me with that, as well. There are some people who

don't know me, don't have any expereince with me, yet they do believe Ms PD's

smear campaign, it seems. Yet, I am blown away by the number of people at work

who have said little things to me, like " see, you are a good person, and that is

what I tell everybody, not to believe rumors about you " and surprising

unsolicited little comments like that. Those comments mean a lot to me, and

that gives me the strength to go into that meeting tomorrow, and make a case as

to why Ms. PD should not be allowed to evaluate me anymore, that I need someone

outside our division to evaluate me.

Wish me luck, and please think of me tomorrow...it;s been especially hard

because Ms. PD is around the same age as my nada, and a woman like my nada. I

have had a rough 6 months, and barely slept because of the anxiety that Ms. PD

has set off in me. That's really how PD's work: they have you trained in such a

way that their abuse can be really subtle, and your fleas go off, and then you

are the problem because you raised your voice (in self defense really) but

someone overhearing sees the PD as calm and you as emotional.

Don't worry, I won't mention PD in the meeting tomorrow, I have already planned

with my mentor what I will say.

My whole life, anytime I was happy, it was taken from me. This time, I need to

keep this job, and I would like to see her leave, so that we can all enjoy our

work environment more. Just for once, I would like the PD person to back down,

and not me!!

Wish me luck, and unite with me in the fight against the worldwide plague of the

PDs!!!!!!! And if you happen to be PD and are on here and are offended, well,

you're entitled to your rights as long as you respect mine, and by definition,

people with a PD are a problem to those around them. If I've offended any PDs

who happen to be on this board, then go talk to your shrink about it!!!! I

don't want to hear you whine how much I've hurt you; you've hurt yourself by how

you go around treating others!!!

Hugs,

Walkingto Happiness

[Guest guest]

Good luck, WTH, and way to go! Please let us know what happens.

--.

[Guest guest]

I am wishing you HUGE luck, just reading your story was making me twitchy.

You're braver than me, I would have just quit. And going over her head? Just the

thought makes my heart speed up.

Be brave! Fight for what you beleive in and good luck!

>

> Hi friends, big hugs to all-

> I've been posting about how I have a PD person in a supervisory position at

work. It's like the wierdest, most difficult twist of fate, really!

> It's made so many fleas come up. And I realize how much fear I have, in

general.

> Luckily, I have this really amazing mentor, who sees me for who I really am.

My mentor (outside of work) has been helping me with all kinds of strategies,

such as going around this PD person. Today I didn't see her, and I was without

fear of her. I actually had a really enjoyable day. There are a lot of good

people where I work.

> This job, in terms of its description is a dream job, and I want to keep it.

> My mentor has been helping me to document events, and tomorrow I have a

meeting with a supervisor above my supervisor. My mentor has practiced with me,

what to say, how to ask specific questions, etc.

> My biggest hurdle to overcome has been internal; my fear of the lady with the

PD. Since I got the job about 6 months ago, I have been letting her push me

around in emotionally abusive and characteristically PD ways. I couldn't

believe how easy it was to call the secretary and request and appointment with

the higher up that I will see tomorrow. I am so going to go and discuss

specific issues in a way that my mentor told me to do!

>

> I have hope, I think there is a way out of the fleas mess. Right now, I am

still in the thick of it, but I am trying to understand why I have this

experience at my dream job. I think maybe by having to confront and overcome my

worst fears, (which is sort of synonymous with my worst fleas in a way), this

experience will make me stronger than ever.

>

> The biggest discovery so far is how great the other people at the job are, and

if I can avoid her, I don't have to cower in fear. I can spend my time

interacting with the fun and good people. I even went to a company social event

and had fun with the other people there and avoided Ms. PD! Even though it was

a birthday party for Ms PD!

>

> That may sound kind of odd, that I am excited about that, but I am pleased

with myself, because so much of my struggle with fleas has been internal fears.

So much of my life has been about survival, and whenever anyone even slightly

set off my fleas, I would go run and hide. One mean person could ruin an entire

exciting plan for me. One mean person ruined an entire summer program for me

once, because they set off my fleas and then I avoided everyone else on the

program for the whole summer. I have spent most of my life in hiding.

>

> This is a really big victory for me, that my mentor taught me to go around Ms

PD. It makes me get through a work day, but also, other people can see that

what Ms PD says about me is not true. I found out from others about this whole

smear campaign she has launched at work, from the very first week I was there.

I expected everyone to believe her, and I believed the negative about myself,

but my mentor has been helping me with that, as well. There are some people who

don't know me, don't have any expereince with me, yet they do believe Ms PD's

smear campaign, it seems. Yet, I am blown away by the number of people at work

who have said little things to me, like " see, you are a good person, and that is

what I tell everybody, not to believe rumors about you " and surprising

unsolicited little comments like that. Those comments mean a lot to me, and

that gives me the strength to go into that meeting tomorrow, and make a case as

to why Ms. PD should not be allowed to evaluate me anymore, that I need someone

outside our division to evaluate me.

>

> Wish me luck, and please think of me tomorrow...it;s been especially hard

because Ms. PD is around the same age as my nada, and a woman like my nada. I

have had a rough 6 months, and barely slept because of the anxiety that Ms. PD

has set off in me. That's really how PD's work: they have you trained in such a

way that their abuse can be really subtle, and your fleas go off, and then you

are the problem because you raised your voice (in self defense really) but

someone overhearing sees the PD as calm and you as emotional.

>

> Don't worry, I won't mention PD in the meeting tomorrow, I have already

planned with my mentor what I will say.

>

> My whole life, anytime I was happy, it was taken from me. This time, I need

to keep this job, and I would like to see her leave, so that we can all enjoy

our work environment more. Just for once, I would like the PD person to back

down, and not me!!

>

> Wish me luck, and unite with me in the fight against the worldwide plague of

the PDs!!!!!!! And if you happen to be PD and are on here and are offended,

well, you're entitled to your rights as long as you respect mine, and by

definition, people with a PD are a problem to those around them. If I've

offended any PDs who happen to be on this board, then go talk to your shrink

about it!!!! I don't want to hear you whine how much I've hurt you; you've hurt

yourself by how you go around treating others!!!

>

> Hugs,

> Walkingto Happiness

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks! I don't expect much to come of it, people at work have a high tolerance

of bullies, ti seems. But a lot of poeople have made little comments, that they

support me, just little comments, and that helps me a lot.

So,e very little comment of support helps!

I'm not about the give up on my dreams bc of a bully BP!!! I've given enough of

my life to the monster of BPD!!!!! I'm not about to give up, in fact, I have a

meeting next week with the higher up above this higher up. There is a lot at

stake here! Not sure what I'll say yet, but I do feel like I need to make

several people aware of the situation, one is not enough, they all seem to be

pretty passive in the face of The Bully!! I can't even write her name, Ms BP,

it makes me so sick and angry. The most important thing about these meetings is

that I am reclaiming my head and my right to not be pushed around and bullied

and emotionally abused at work. I told the higher iup, " it is a hostile work

environment, and this does not benefit our clients " .

I will keep makign my case, because it makes me feel like Ms BP can at least see

that she can't push me a round, that I am on to her!!!

It helps with my anxiety, but I am keeping expectations low beyond that.

There seems to be a tendency for people in higher places to not make decisions

but let things go.

All I can hope for is to feel less intimidated and have less anxiety, so that I

can sleep at night.

Hugs,

WTH

> >

> > Hi friends, big hugs to all-

> > I've been posting about how I have a PD person in a supervisory position at

work. It's like the wierdest, most difficult twist of fate, really!

> > It's made so many fleas come up. And I realize how much fear I have, in

general.

> > Luckily, I have this really amazing mentor, who sees me for who I really am.

My mentor (outside of work) has been helping me with all kinds of strategies,

such as going around this PD person. Today I didn't see her, and I was without

fear of her. I actually had a really enjoyable day. There are a lot of good

people where I work.

> > This job, in terms of its description is a dream job, and I want to keep it.

> > My mentor has been helping me to document events, and tomorrow I have a

meeting with a supervisor above my supervisor. My mentor has practiced with me,

what to say, how to ask specific questions, etc.

> > My biggest hurdle to overcome has been internal; my fear of the lady with

the PD. Since I got the job about 6 months ago, I have been letting her push me

around in emotionally abusive and characteristically PD ways. I couldn't

believe how easy it was to call the secretary and request and appointment with

the higher up that I will see tomorrow. I am so going to go and discuss

specific issues in a way that my mentor told me to do!

> >

> > I have hope, I think there is a way out of the fleas mess. Right now, I am

still in the thick of it, but I am trying to understand why I have this

experience at my dream job. I think maybe by having to confront and overcome my

worst fears, (which is sort of synonymous with my worst fleas in a way), this

experience will make me stronger than ever.

> >

> > The biggest discovery so far is how great the other people at the job are,

and if I can avoid her, I don't have to cower in fear. I can spend my time

interacting with the fun and good people. I even went to a company social event

and had fun with the other people there and avoided Ms. PD! Even though it was

a birthday party for Ms PD!

> >

> > That may sound kind of odd, that I am excited about that, but I am pleased

with myself, because so much of my struggle with fleas has been internal fears.

So much of my life has been about survival, and whenever anyone even slightly

set off my fleas, I would go run and hide. One mean person could ruin an entire

exciting plan for me. One mean person ruined an entire summer program for me

once, because they set off my fleas and then I avoided everyone else on the

program for the whole summer. I have spent most of my life in hiding.

> >

> > This is a really big victory for me, that my mentor taught me to go around

Ms PD. It makes me get through a work day, but also, other people can see that

what Ms PD says about me is not true. I found out from others about this whole

smear campaign she has launched at work, from the very first week I was there.

I expected everyone to believe her, and I believed the negative about myself,

but my mentor has been helping me with that, as well. There are some people who

don't know me, don't have any expereince with me, yet they do believe Ms PD's

smear campaign, it seems. Yet, I am blown away by the number of people at work

who have said little things to me, like " see, you are a good person, and that is

what I tell everybody, not to believe rumors about you " and surprising

unsolicited little comments like that. Those comments mean a lot to me, and

that gives me the strength to go into that meeting tomorrow, and make a case as

to why Ms. PD should not be allowed to evaluate me anymore, that I need someone

outside our division to evaluate me.

> >

> > Wish me luck, and please think of me tomorrow...it;s been especially hard

because Ms. PD is around the same age as my nada, and a woman like my nada. I

have had a rough 6 months, and barely slept because of the anxiety that Ms. PD

has set off in me. That's really how PD's work: they have you trained in such a

way that their abuse can be really subtle, and your fleas go off, and then you

are the problem because you raised your voice (in self defense really) but

someone overhearing sees the PD as calm and you as emotional.

> >

> > Don't worry, I won't mention PD in the meeting tomorrow, I have already

planned with my mentor what I will say.

> >

> > My whole life, anytime I was happy, it was taken from me. This time, I need

to keep this job, and I would like to see her leave, so that we can all enjoy

our work environment more. Just for once, I would like the PD person to back

down, and not me!!

> >

> > Wish me luck, and unite with me in the fight against the worldwide plague of

the PDs!!!!!!! And if you happen to be PD and are on here and are offended,

well, you're entitled to your rights as long as you respect mine, and by

definition, people with a PD are a problem to those around them. If I've

offended any PDs who happen to be on this board, then go talk to your shrink

about it!!!! I don't want to hear you whine how much I've hurt you; you've hurt

yourself by how you go around treating others!!!

> >

> > Hugs,

> > Walkingto Happiness

> >

>

[Guest guest]

We had a bully boss at work. One person finally had enough and went over that

woman's head. She was told that anyone else who had similar problems should see

that higher up. Within a week, the bully boss was fired!

> > >

> > > Hi friends, big hugs to all-

> > > I've been posting about how I have a PD person in a supervisory position

at work. It's like the wierdest, most difficult twist of fate, really!

> > > It's made so many fleas come up. And I realize how much fear I have, in

general.

> > > Luckily, I have this really amazing mentor, who sees me for who I really

am. My mentor (outside of work) has been helping me with all kinds of

strategies, such as going around this PD person. Today I didn't see her, and I

was without fear of her. I actually had a really enjoyable day. There are a lot

of good people where I work.

> > > This job, in terms of its description is a dream job, and I want to keep

it.

> > > My mentor has been helping me to document events, and tomorrow I have a

meeting with a supervisor above my supervisor. My mentor has practiced with me,

what to say, how to ask specific questions, etc.

> > > My biggest hurdle to overcome has been internal; my fear of the lady with

the PD. Since I got the job about 6 months ago, I have been letting her push me

around in emotionally abusive and characteristically PD ways. I couldn't

believe how easy it was to call the secretary and request and appointment with

the higher up that I will see tomorrow. I am so going to go and discuss

specific issues in a way that my mentor told me to do!

> > >

> > > I have hope, I think there is a way out of the fleas mess. Right now, I

am still in the thick of it, but I am trying to understand why I have this

experience at my dream job. I think maybe by having to confront and overcome my

worst fears, (which is sort of synonymous with my worst fleas in a way), this

experience will make me stronger than ever.

> > >

> > > The biggest discovery so far is how great the other people at the job are,

and if I can avoid her, I don't have to cower in fear. I can spend my time

interacting with the fun and good people. I even went to a company social event

and had fun with the other people there and avoided Ms. PD! Even though it was

a birthday party for Ms PD!

> > >

> > > That may sound kind of odd, that I am excited about that, but I am pleased

with myself, because so much of my struggle with fleas has been internal fears.

So much of my life has been about survival, and whenever anyone even slightly

set off my fleas, I would go run and hide. One mean person could ruin an entire

exciting plan for me. One mean person ruined an entire summer program for me

once, because they set off my fleas and then I avoided everyone else on the

program for the whole summer. I have spent most of my life in hiding.

> > >

> > > This is a really big victory for me, that my mentor taught me to go around

Ms PD. It makes me get through a work day, but also, other people can see that

what Ms PD says about me is not true. I found out from others about this whole

smear campaign she has launched at work, from the very first week I was there.

I expected everyone to believe her, and I believed the negative about myself,

but my mentor has been helping me with that, as well. There are some people who

don't know me, don't have any expereince with me, yet they do believe Ms PD's

smear campaign, it seems. Yet, I am blown away by the number of people at work

who have said little things to me, like " see, you are a good person, and that is

what I tell everybody, not to believe rumors about you " and surprising

unsolicited little comments like that. Those comments mean a lot to me, and

that gives me the strength to go into that meeting tomorrow, and make a case as

to why Ms. PD should not be allowed to evaluate me anymore, that I need someone

outside our division to evaluate me.

> > >

> > > Wish me luck, and please think of me tomorrow...it;s been especially hard

because Ms. PD is around the same age as my nada, and a woman like my nada. I

have had a rough 6 months, and barely slept because of the anxiety that Ms. PD

has set off in me. That's really how PD's work: they have you trained in such a

way that their abuse can be really subtle, and your fleas go off, and then you

are the problem because you raised your voice (in self defense really) but

someone overhearing sees the PD as calm and you as emotional.

> > >

> > > Don't worry, I won't mention PD in the meeting tomorrow, I have already

planned with my mentor what I will say.

> > >

> > > My whole life, anytime I was happy, it was taken from me. This time, I

need to keep this job, and I would like to see her leave, so that we can all

enjoy our work environment more. Just for once, I would like the PD person to

back down, and not me!!

> > >

> > > Wish me luck, and unite with me in the fight against the worldwide plague

of the PDs!!!!!!! And if you happen to be PD and are on here and are offended,

well, you're entitled to your rights as long as you respect mine, and by

definition, people with a PD are a problem to those around them. If I've

offended any PDs who happen to be on this board, then go talk to your shrink

about it!!!! I don't want to hear you whine how much I've hurt you; you've hurt

yourself by how you go around treating others!!!

> > >

> > > Hugs,

> > > Walkingto Happiness

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Walking to Happiness, your post hit the nail on the head for me. I feel very

much the same and feel I am struggling with this issue at the moment. I too

feel like I get rid of one demon and then another raises it's ugly head. I too

have wondered if I am to sleigh the dragons(the bpd monsters as you quoted), or

learn to deal with them.

I have a business and can control who works for me. I have let many girls go

because they trigger my fleas. I am usually right and don't regret my

decisions. I am just frustrated like you that we keep coming up against them.

Do we have to get to a non-reactive response to them before they will no longer

present themselves in our lives.

You can run but you can't hide. I know I am getting better at being aware of

the behaviour and not outwardly reacting but reaction still occurs inside of me.

If I learn to ignore the behaviour that it triggers it feels to me that I am

back to Nada situations and putting up with the abuse and anxiety that simmers

deep inside of me. Then all my boundries disappear and I go along with walking

on egg shells and trying to ignore the bahviour that triggers me off.

If I get rid of them like I said someone else seems to come along and bring out

the fleas. What are we to do FLEE or deal with the FLEAS. I am very confused.

Kazam x

>

> Hi friends, big hugs to all-

> I've been posting about how I have a PD person in a supervisory position at

work. It's like the wierdest, most difficult twist of fate, really!

> It's made so many fleas come up. And I realize how much fear I have, in

general.

> Luckily, I have this really amazing mentor, who sees me for who I really am.

My mentor (outside of work) has been helping me with all kinds of strategies,

such as going around this PD person. Today I didn't see her, and I was without

fear of her. I actually had a really enjoyable day. There are a lot of good

people where I work.

> This job, in terms of its description is a dream job, and I want to keep it.

> My mentor has been helping me to document events, and tomorrow I have a

meeting with a supervisor above my supervisor. My mentor has practiced with me,

what to say, how to ask specific questions, etc.

> My biggest hurdle to overcome has been internal; my fear of the lady with the

PD. Since I got the job about 6 months ago, I have been letting her push me

around in emotionally abusive and characteristically PD ways. I couldn't

believe how easy it was to call the secretary and request and appointment with

the higher up that I will see tomorrow. I am so going to go and discuss

specific issues in a way that my mentor told me to do!

>

> I have hope, I think there is a way out of the fleas mess. Right now, I am

still in the thick of it, but I am trying to understand why I have this

experience at my dream job. I think maybe by having to confront and overcome my

worst fears, (which is sort of synonymous with my worst fleas in a way), this

experience will make me stronger than ever.

>

> The biggest discovery so far is how great the other people at the job are, and

if I can avoid her, I don't have to cower in fear. I can spend my time

interacting with the fun and good people. I even went to a company social event

and had fun with the other people there and avoided Ms. PD! Even though it was

a birthday party for Ms PD!

>

> That may sound kind of odd, that I am excited about that, but I am pleased

with myself, because so much of my struggle with fleas has been internal fears.

So much of my life has been about survival, and whenever anyone even slightly

set off my fleas, I would go run and hide. One mean person could ruin an entire

exciting plan for me. One mean person ruined an entire summer program for me

once, because they set off my fleas and then I avoided everyone else on the

program for the whole summer. I have spent most of my life in hiding.

>

> This is a really big victory for me, that my mentor taught me to go around Ms

PD. It makes me get through a work day, but also, other people can see that

what Ms PD says about me is not true. I found out from others about this whole

smear campaign she has launched at work, from the very first week I was there.

I expected everyone to believe her, and I believed the negative about myself,

but my mentor has been helping me with that, as well. There are some people who

don't know me, don't have any expereince with me, yet they do believe Ms PD's

smear campaign, it seems. Yet, I am blown away by the number of people at work

who have said little things to me, like " see, you are a good person, and that is

what I tell everybody, not to believe rumors about you " and surprising

unsolicited little comments like that. Those comments mean a lot to me, and

that gives me the strength to go into that meeting tomorrow, and make a case as

to why Ms. PD should not be allowed to evaluate me anymore, that I need someone

outside our division to evaluate me.

>

> Wish me luck, and please think of me tomorrow...it;s been especially hard

because Ms. PD is around the same age as my nada, and a woman like my nada. I

have had a rough 6 months, and barely slept because of the anxiety that Ms. PD

has set off in me. That's really how PD's work: they have you trained in such a

way that their abuse can be really subtle, and your fleas go off, and then you

are the problem because you raised your voice (in self defense really) but

someone overhearing sees the PD as calm and you as emotional.

>

> Don't worry, I won't mention PD in the meeting tomorrow, I have already

planned with my mentor what I will say.

>

> My whole life, anytime I was happy, it was taken from me. This time, I need

to keep this job, and I would like to see her leave, so that we can all enjoy

our work environment more. Just for once, I would like the PD person to back

down, and not me!!

>

> Wish me luck, and unite with me in the fight against the worldwide plague of

the PDs!!!!!!! And if you happen to be PD and are on here and are offended,

well, you're entitled to your rights as long as you respect mine, and by

definition, people with a PD are a problem to those around them. If I've

offended any PDs who happen to be on this board, then go talk to your shrink

about it!!!! I don't want to hear you whine how much I've hurt you; you've hurt

yourself by how you go around treating others!!!

>

> Hugs,

> Walkingto Happiness

>

[Guest guest]

Hey!!!!

Congrats Walking to Happiness!!!! I've let PD people ruin my social

life before too, and was too scared to do anything about a smear campaign.

How did you go about finding a mentor? I think that would help me go a

long way.

>

>

> Walking to Happiness, your post hit the nail on the head for me. I feel

> very much the same and feel I am struggling with this issue at the moment. I

> too feel like I get rid of one demon and then another raises it's ugly head.

> I too have wondered if I am to sleigh the dragons(the bpd monsters as you

> quoted), or learn to deal with them.

>

> I have a business and can control who works for me. I have let many girls

> go because they trigger my fleas. I am usually right and don't regret my

> decisions. I am just frustrated like you that we keep coming up against

> them. Do we have to get to a non-reactive response to them before they will

> no longer present themselves in our lives.

> You can run but you can't hide. I know I am getting better at being aware

> of the behaviour and not outwardly reacting but reaction still occurs inside

> of me.

>

> If I learn to ignore the behaviour that it triggers it feels to me that I

> am back to Nada situations and putting up with the abuse and anxiety that

> simmers deep inside of me. Then all my boundries disappear and I go along

> with walking on egg shells and trying to ignore the bahviour that triggers

> me off.

> If I get rid of them like I said someone else seems to come along and bring

> out the fleas. What are we to do FLEE or deal with the FLEAS. I am very

> confused.

> Kazam x

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi friends, big hugs to all-

> > I've been posting about how I have a PD person in a supervisory position

> at work. It's like the wierdest, most difficult twist of fate, really!

> > It's made so many fleas come up. And I realize how much fear I have, in

> general.

> > Luckily, I have this really amazing mentor, who sees me for who I really

> am. My mentor (outside of work) has been helping me with all kinds of

> strategies, such as going around this PD person. Today I didn't see her, and

> I was without fear of her. I actually had a really enjoyable day. There are

> a lot of good people where I work.

> > This job, in terms of its description is a dream job, and I want to keep

> it.

> > My mentor has been helping me to document events, and tomorrow I have a

> meeting with a supervisor above my supervisor. My mentor has practiced with

> me, what to say, how to ask specific questions, etc.

> > My biggest hurdle to overcome has been internal; my fear of the lady with

> the PD. Since I got the job about 6 months ago, I have been letting her push

> me around in emotionally abusive and characteristically PD ways. I couldn't

> believe how easy it was to call the secretary and request and appointment

> with the higher up that I will see tomorrow. I am so going to go and discuss

> specific issues in a way that my mentor told me to do!

> >

> > I have hope, I think there is a way out of the fleas mess. Right now, I

> am still in the thick of it, but I am trying to understand why I have this

> experience at my dream job. I think maybe by having to confront and overcome

> my worst fears, (which is sort of synonymous with my worst fleas in a way),

> this experience will make me stronger than ever.

> >

> > The biggest discovery so far is how great the other people at the job

> are, and if I can avoid her, I don't have to cower in fear. I can spend my

> time interacting with the fun and good people. I even went to a company

> social event and had fun with the other people there and avoided Ms. PD!

> Even though it was a birthday party for Ms PD!

> >

> > That may sound kind of odd, that I am excited about that, but I am

> pleased with myself, because so much of my struggle with fleas has been

> internal fears. So much of my life has been about survival, and whenever

> anyone even slightly set off my fleas, I would go run and hide. One mean

> person could ruin an entire exciting plan for me. One mean person ruined an

> entire summer program for me once, because they set off my fleas and then I

> avoided everyone else on the program for the whole summer. I have spent most

> of my life in hiding.

> >

> > This is a really big victory for me, that my mentor taught me to go

> around Ms PD. It makes me get through a work day, but also, other people can

> see that what Ms PD says about me is not true. I found out from others about

> this whole smear campaign she has launched at work, from the very first week

> I was there. I expected everyone to believe her, and I believed the negative

> about myself, but my mentor has been helping me with that, as well. There

> are some people who don't know me, don't have any expereince with me, yet

> they do believe Ms PD's smear campaign, it seems. Yet, I am blown away by

> the number of people at work who have said little things to me, like " see,

> you are a good person, and that is what I tell everybody, not to believe

> rumors about you " and surprising unsolicited little comments like that.

> Those comments mean a lot to me, and that gives me the strength to go into

> that meeting tomorrow, and make a case as to why Ms. PD should not be

> allowed to evaluate me anymore, that I need someone outside our division to

> evaluate me.

> >

> > Wish me luck, and please think of me tomorrow...it;s been especially hard

> because Ms. PD is around the same age as my nada, and a woman like my nada.

> I have had a rough 6 months, and barely slept because of the anxiety that

> Ms. PD has set off in me. That's really how PD's work: they have you trained

> in such a way that their abuse can be really subtle, and your fleas go off,

> and then you are the problem because you raised your voice (in self defense

> really) but someone overhearing sees the PD as calm and you as emotional.

> >

> > Don't worry, I won't mention PD in the meeting tomorrow, I have already

> planned with my mentor what I will say.

> >

> > My whole life, anytime I was happy, it was taken from me. This time, I

> need to keep this job, and I would like to see her leave, so that we can all

> enjoy our work environment more. Just for once, I would like the PD person

> to back down, and not me!!

> >

> > Wish me luck, and unite with me in the fight against the worldwide plague

> of the PDs!!!!!!! And if you happen to be PD and are on here and are

> offended, well, you're entitled to your rights as long as you respect mine,

> and by definition, people with a PD are a problem to those around them. If

> I've offended any PDs who happen to be on this board, then go talk to your

> shrink about it!!!! I don't want to hear you whine how much I've hurt you;

> you've hurt yourself by how you go around treating others!!!

> >

> > Hugs,

> > Walkingto Happiness

> >

>

>

>