Guest guest Posted June 2, 2010 Report Share Posted June 2, 2010 Welcome to the land of the KO... or should I say, " WElcome back! " I find it almost laughable that AFTER AN ENTIRE YEAR where you are working in therapy to get through your life and make progress for YOU because of what she's done TO you... and you are feeling brave enough to call and 'test the waters'... and you tell her all this... expecting " something " ... that she immediately goes into 'BTW - I'm having an affair, I've lost weight, I'm finding my soulmate...blahblahblah.' , honey... if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and walks like a duck... it's a duck. She hasn't changed nor will she. She's a duck. She likes being a duck. So a duck she will remain. That said, you don't have to stay swimming in her pond. You stuck your toe in it and called her... you have your answer. Your mother is BPD. There will be NO long lost reunion calls of change, insight, forgiveness, regret, healing... not one. You will grow and change and develop but she won't. Stick your toe in the pond to say, " Hi " if/when you feel inclined but remember... she's a duck. She'll always quack. You just need to decided how much of it you can stand. Peace. Lynnette > > Hi All, > > Ok so I have been a year NC from my nada now, and within that year I have been doing therapy, which is going great. > > I decided to contact my nada by telephone.......................a year is a long time, and I wanted to test the water, although I cant help but think that she is hoovering, or trying too. > > She did listen to things that I had to say to her about my childhood etc, although she managed to turn the conversation into her, and how she had changed this year and that she is seeing a guy behind my alcoholic step fathers back, who might I add is marrried, and that she really thinks she has found her soulmate in this guy etc, how she had got herself back, lost weight etc. > > I came off the phone a little hoovered by her thinking she may have changed but then my gut is saying to me that she hasnt.......... > > Advice needed please > > Thanks x > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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