Issues with my kids

[Guest guest]

My son is going thru a rough time right now with finding, work, wife in

med school, pressure and stress. I can t fix it all. I m so worried and

want to make it all right, and can only do so much.

And the fleas are having a field day. I can hear nada s over reactions,

and making my problems be all about her, and just feel like a failure

because I didnt fix her, and can t wave a wand and fix his problems.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

It just sucks so bad to be a KO.

Doug

[Guest guest]

Doug I relate well to this. I am dearly afraid of each stage of

development for my son, but I need to tell you this. All of what

your son is trying to do are good things, challenges. They will do the

best they can, and all you can do is look for the good in the

situation. Sometimes the most important thing to do is listen and let

them know that you care and that you will hold positive thoughts for

them. Life's challenges do make them stronger.

I take heart in seeing that your son is willing to be challenged and

to show up to make a life-long commitment and the challenges that go

with it. I try to encourage my eleven year old. When he shrugged off

the encouragement it hurt me at first. Then I realized that just like

said, my job as a parent is to hold that image of our child

that they tend to lose when their self-esteem is taking a blow.

So, I speak up now and tell my son what I see that is good when he is

hard on himself, but when it is hard for him to listen, I let it go

and wait. I also tell him I love him no matter what. This parenting

thing, from a place where we don't have a parent to consistently

model... is sure a confidence tester for me!

Best,