why did the chicken cross the road?

[Guest guest]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

AUDITOR: Because it was done in the prior year.

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the

establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion

and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken

has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its

pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side

of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken

was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the

competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen

Consulting, in

a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by

rethinking its

physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the

Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its

skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the

chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall

strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting

convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and

best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the

transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in

order

to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit,

and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the

implicit goals in delivering and successfully architecting and

implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of

poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a

park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which

was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,

clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's

mission,

vision and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of

a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the

chicken change to become more successful.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the

black man. The chicken " crossed " the black man in order to trample him

and

keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be

free

to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the

chickens,

" Thou shalt cross the road " . And the chicken crossed the road, and there

was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.

How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I

repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crosses the

road. Who cares why?

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean,

why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken

doing

walking around all over the place, anyway?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the

chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will

not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents,

and balance your cheque book.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, " Why did the chicken cross the road? "

Rather, it is, " Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we

overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken

crossing? "

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been

naturally elected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed

to

cross-roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath

the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it

transcended

it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I can't believe I missed one!