difficult people and their influence on my mental state

[Guest guest]

I am wondering if anyone can relate, I think this may be a KO thing, but

whenever I have to deal with a difficult person (especially at work), it affects

my mental state such that I have high levels of anxiety, I can't concentrate, I

can't sleep, I get all worked up hours after the encounter. It takes me weeks

for the anxiety and anger to subside! My friends have to listen to me go over

and over the encounter in our conversations, etc. A lot of my free time is

eaten up by this!

Friends of mine are helping me to see that most people can brush off encounters

with difficult people; in fact, most people avoid those encounters. Me, I tend

to dive in and try to hold difficult people accountable. The impossible.

I guess I grew up always being in this role of holding a particular difficult

person accountable, or at least trying to. It was like the only path to my

sanity growing up, was to argue for justice and accountability. So much of who

I am is about arguing for what is right, and pointing out when people are being

difficult and wrong. Now, I am just starting to see that maybe my sanity is a

given, and the pushing for accountability from difficult people just pulls me

down, wasting my time and energy.

I'm not sure how to change this. I would like to learn to focus on the

positive, to own my own mind and not get pushed into a state of anxiety by wierd

difficult people out there, but it's a learning curve for me. I'm wondering:

Can anyone relate? Does anyone have suggestions for how I can just let things go

with difficult people, instead of trying to make them accountable/have

consequences like the rest of us? Why am I the only one who looks to make

people accountable?

Thanks,

" Walking to Happiness "