Chronic pain - really desperate and depressed..

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

I've had pain for three years. I am 35. It started with plantar fasciitis. I

soaked my feet in cold/icy water for a few days and then I started to have

strange sensation down the whole sole of my feet.

The pain in my feet are sometimes burning pain and sometimes my feet looks like

there is no circulation - they turn into pale and cold, accompanying with pain.

This pain has not gone away. What's worse, I also developed pain in metatarsal

and the doctor says I have metatarsalgia.

About 15 months ago, I started to have back ache. It became really bad last

summer that I couldn't sit for 10 minutes. It only hurts when I sit. And the

area in my lower back becomes hot, burning and extremely painful after sitting

for a while.

I was living in England for many years and by last summer, I decided to move

back to Asia so that I can seek medical help more quickly.

So far they have done many blood tests and also X ray and MRI. X ray and MRI

show degeneration of L1 disc but my pain are mostly lower back. Nerve conduction

says 'these findings can be related to radiculopathy or peroneal neuropathy'.

Lately, since I have lost weight, now my buttocks hurt. It seems I lost much

padding down my buttock that now it is painful to sit. (burning pain too)

Blood tests show almost everything normal - rheumatoid factor, HLA-B27, glucose,

etc. But my vitamin D level is 17. (below 15 is classified as severe deficiency

and optimal level is above 30)

As for medications, I have tried Amitriptyline and Tofranil. But I do not

tolerate psychotropic medications well. They give me nasty nightmares and

horrors, anxiety and depression even after taking it for 6 months.

My doctor in England gave me Gabapentin but I didn't try it. I am very sensitive

to most psychotropic medications.

I have also been supplementing Vitamin D 2000iu as well but I find my pain is a

lot worse. (Same happened two years ago when I supplemented Vitamin D.)

My doctor gave me Vitamin B complex last week. Again, I had panic attacks after

taking that. My doctor also asked me to try Tofranil last week. Again, I had the

most horrible mental feelings two days after taking it! Everything turned black.

This is no surprise that I feel very depressed and I honestly cannot see any

light at the end of the tunnel. I am 35 and it scares me that life is full of

pain and sufferings. I cannot walk long and I cannot sit long. I spent a few

months swimming and doing physio without much improvement.

My family are not that understanding and my mother sometimes even said I don't

have pain. I feel like it is 'wrong' that I have pain and that they blame me for

having pain. I feel so guilty and ashamed about this.

I would really appreciate it if you could share your experience with me.

Best wishes,