Attracting friends who are similar to my nada

[Guest guest]

Do any of you attract people who have traits similar to your nada? I seem to be

an expert at this and have had to cut several people out of my life. They tend

to be controlling, demanding, hypercritical, and people with very few long term

friends. I have been working on catching these red flags earlier because most of

these relationships have extended 3-4 years before I finally do something about

it. If any of you have this problem, what are some of the red flags you look

for? I am starting graduate school soon so I am worried about choosing the wrong

friends.

I just sent a " dear john " letter to a med school friend who I needed to cut out

years ago. She is so critical and hasn't been supportive of me going LC or NC

with my nada. I finally had to tell her the really horrible things my nada did

that I haven't shared with anyone for her to believe me. If she's not

criticizing me she's busy talking about her weight (she is not fat). During most

of our conversations her husband tries to intervene to tell her to stop

badgering me. I recently vacationed with her in California in January because I

was hoping the sun would help my seasonal affective disorder. She was so

negative the whole time it just made my depression worse and made it so it was

hard to leave the house at all.

I know I am doing the right thing and when I have cut out similar people in my

life I have had no regrets. It's just rough because it brings up a lot of the

guilt issues I have with nada.