Having a low day today...

[Guest guest]

I've had a migraine for the last two days and with mothers day coming up, I'm

just really stressed.

My husband is overseas and at one time I was close to my step-nada. I hadn't

realized that she was BPD until she turned on me. She had been busy creating

drama with her three boys and I guess I was just an afterthought (which looking

back, is exactly what I've been to both her and my dishrag dad for the last 25

years).

Anyway, this last septepmber she was diagnosed with breast cancer, my first

thought was " yeah right " seeing as she has been dying of something or other for

the last 25 years I've known her, AND because plans had been made for them to

come here for christmas and she clearly hadn't wanted to come (from other

conversations). So, I was the dutiful step daughter, sending her care packages,

calling after appointments, e-mailing her. It wasn't till November that I got a

straight answer about their coming out (which was a no of course). I then got a

guilt ridden e-mail from her telling me that she didn't get cancer just to ruin

my christmas (who the hell says that??), I told her she was being ludicrus and

well, I guess I ruffled her feathers by showing her the fallacy in her thought

process.

I got a long letter from her in January, the first two pages were detailing

about what she's been through and the last page was telling me that I chose to

be married to a military man, I asked for this life, and I was a real peice of

work and she pitied my husband (it got much worse, but that was the gist). The

last page was the deal breaker and I realized just how insane she was. To that

point I had thought that it was a big miscommunication.

Oh, and with it, came the unopened christmas presents.

So, I didn't respond to it at all. Instead I scanned the letter and sent it to

my MIL and my husband. They were both horrified by the vitrol in it.

I've been pleasant to my father when he calls, not mentioning either the letter

or her, except to say I hope she was feeling well. She is in full remission (??)

as of December, but she is on medication for the next 5 years and apparently has

all the horrid side effects *rolling eyes*.

I've lost people to cancer, and normally I have WAY more compassion, but not

when it comes to her. I'd be the same if it was my own mother. My MIL has had it

three times, she lost her sister to it, so I think I've behaved appropriatly

with them, it's hard to tell as a " kid of " what the appropriate reaction would

be.

I sent the step-nada a mothers day card, just with a " I hope you have a nice

day " in it. On one hand I'm worried that she will RTS it (my kids have sent her

stuff in the letter) and on the other I'm worried that she will call to try and

mend things.

ly I want nothing to do with her. My father married her, I owe her nothing,

but I have to say that I am still really hurt over the letter that she wrote.

She controls him. I want my dad in my life. She has gotten rid of all the other

people in his life that she has deemed no good. He hasn't talked to his sisters

in well over 15 years. I fear that I'm next.

He is her slave. He does EVERYTHING (cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping). She

demanded they move to a returement community, and now he drives three hours a

day round trip to go to work. I think she's hoping to kill him with stress.

If you've gotten this far, you deserve a medal, I really needed to vent.