Re: Texas Ballerina/ predators and 8 year old bpd

[Guest guest]

Thanks phine,

I did mean to say 'most vulnerable' (or maybe, 'least protected'). I love your

analogy of blood in the water. I have often heard borderlines and npds

described as predators. And that description certainly does fit with the ones I

have known. In my very unscientfic opinion, I've found that borderlines are

compelled towards the blood itself, without a desire to invoke actual harm, but

knowing they're going to incidentally, and just not caring or being able to

control themselves. One therapist of mine feels it's a compulsion to get

attention, and zingers are the best way to do that. I think that narcissists

and sociopaths, they have an end goal of destruction *specifically* in mind, and

they use the vulnerable moments to try and meet their goals. They actually wish

to annihilate the person or certain aspects of the person's life.

More on the compulsion, though. I have been worried for some time that a little

girl in my life might be a bpd in development. I'm close to the little girl and

it would kill her mother--who is a good friend of mine. From the moment this

girl could talk, she would seek out people's most sensitive spots and issue

'zingers'. She is only about 8 years old now, and it's getting worse and worse.

She's started to make her sister AND mother cry on occasion. The last time I

was at the house, she told me that she 'looks' for dirt and good things to find

out about people so she can 'use' it. And she got a very nada-like expression

of glee when she said this. Her mother is a working mom, and she recently gave

her a zinger about not spending time with the kids (which she does, a TON--she

never does anything social at ALL without her family). When my dog got very

sick and started dying, she saw me cry for the first time. A few days later she

drew a picture of a tortured, dead dog and showed it to me, and said it was my

dog, dead! And laughed. Her father reprimanded her but she didn't seem to

care. One birthday I was at her house, she asked me why I was at her house and

not with my 'family'. I could go on and on--there are at least 15 examples of

her issuing zingers against me and/or her family members. I worry a LOT about

her. Is there any way to prevent a child from developing into a full fledged

borderline? I am almost inclined to consult Lineham--but I fear the parents

would not be on board. They might not accepting of this kindof diagnosis, might

consider it an insult. I've already lost my enjoyment of being around this

child, and she's only 8! It's really terrible.

--Charlie

> >

> > Hi all, I was just very moved but also disturbed by a video the NY Times has

up right now. An extraordinary young ballerina from Texas has made her way all

to the best dance academy in Moscow--she is 15 and she lives there all by

herself, training to be a world class ballet dancer.

> >

> > The video shows her extraordinary accomplishments arriving there--and then

they show her mother talking to her on Skype at Thanksgiving. 'I tell my

friends you are in Russia and they don't get it', says the mother, they don't

know WHY you have to be there. Way to support your kid 3 months after starting

world class schooling in a scary new country, Mom!

> >

> > It gets worse. Later on in the feature, the girl has been hideously

injured, and a Russian doctor tells her that her foot must have surgery. Her

mother tells her--ON the hospital bed, that no, the family has no money, she

cannot have surgery, the family will not pay her tuition, and she must come

home. This is SO classic BPD Mom trying to harm you at your least vulnerable

moment!!

> >

> > Check it out though--this little teenager (KO, I should say), goes to the

Russian religious community and somebody GIVES her the money--to pay for the

surgery AND her tuition. And now, she's up for the starring role in an upcoming

production.

> >

> > To me this is a classic KO story. KOs can find ourselves moved to take

extraordinary measures, and make extraordinary strides in this world--but, if we

are in touch with nadas or narcissist parents, they will try EVERYTHING they can

to keep up from succeeding. They will of course do it in a way 'disguised' as

concern. I was moved by this story. Not once did the poor girl--who is

obviously a dancing genius, and a treasure to the world of Ballet--not once did

she say she was grateful to her parents, or she couldn't have done it without

her parents. No--her parents were her main obstacle. Yet, their abuse might

also have been the only reason she was moved to such great heights of ambition.

> >

> > Ah, to be a KO...

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>

> More on the compulsion, though. I have been worried for some time that a

little girl in my life might be a bpd in development.

Uh, no. This kid sounds like a sociopath. (Or APD, I believe it's now called.

Actually at this age they have other names for it, but when you're 18 you

graduate to APD.)

From what I have read, there are APD's that have a basic brain abnormality.

There isn't any cure. THEN there are the APD's who could function normally, but

there are problems in the home that are twisting the personality in this

fashion. If the child can be helped, she needs to find her way to the right

help soon. Otherwise, it's the rest of the world I feel sorry for...

--.