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feeling lost

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My state disability payments have run out, and now I'm applying for federal

social security disability. I'm freaking out because I don't know if I'll get

it, or how much it would be, and how I'll afford rent and so on.

I'm still in no shape to return to work. I'm finally showing a few signs of

progress, which is good, but I still clearly have a long, long way to go before

I'm functional again. It would suck if financial necessity forced me to work

right now, and undo all the physical healing I've gained over the past few

years.

I always think of myself as so strong and resilient and clever, but right now

I'm lost and terrified and exhausted, and I just don't have anything left to

fight with. I don't know where to turn or what I'm supposed to do.

I really need a hug.

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