I refuse to nourish friendships/relationships with people who...

[Guest guest]

I was looking thru my laptop and found something I wrote a couple of years ago.

it was a good exercise and although I wrote it about friendships, it can be

translated to all relationships even those with family.

So, this is what I decided a year or more ago. anyone else want to play with

what you are willing and unwilling to accept in relationships in your life. good

thing to print out and post on the bathroom mirror.

---------

I refuse to nourish friendships/relationships with people....

• who don't see me for who I really am.

• who don't appreciate my sense of humor.

• who deny my words as truth.

• who don't honor my choices.

• who throw my mangled words back in my face.

• who insist I play games to be their friend.

• who use money to get my attention.

• who make me question my self-worth.

• who are condescending

• who are racist.

• who don't honor and accept my partner.

• who criticize my feelings and who forbid me to own my feelings.

• who won't go the distance and see that our friendship is worth any effort

required to keep it real.

• who don't honor my need and desire to process.

• who make me want to question myself - when I am very clear about my feelings.

• who are afraid to take me to task when I am being an asshole.

• who intimidate me or are intimidated by me.

• who frequently look for ulterior motives and don't accept my kindnesses as

pure.

• who set off alarm bells in my gut...even if I can't put it into words

immediately. I will trust my instincts regardless of the popularity of my

decision.

-------

want to help me add more to the list?

ame

[Guest guest]

Who will not come to me and ask questions when they misunderstand something I

say or do. Anyone who silently condemns and/or dislikes me (forming opinions

about my worth and character) without talking to me about the misunderstanding.

Who does not initiate a civil and kind discussion when I've offended them, even

when I've done so by accident. Who does not put their comfort aside for a

moment to ensure our friendship remains pure and clean.

Who not will abandon me, for even a moment, when I am not perfect--or for any

other reason. Because I am good and worth standing by.

Who does not offer me grace and acceptance when I am human.

Who holds rigid, high, and inappropriate expectations of me.

Who forces me to pass any outside, manufactured test to prove that I worthy

and/or on their side. The offering of my friendship and knowledge of my

character should be evaluated without me " proving " my loyalty and fidelity.

Who has no room for me in their world because their own needs and own egos crowd

out anyone else's presence.

Who has a lust for pain, even if it is for a moment and only in certain

situations.

Who reminds me of my mother. Who make me feel like my mother did. Who trigger

any of my fears and anxieties from my past.

Who is a manipulator.

Who are not in process, and are unkind and damaging to others.

Who are not sane, regardless of how functional and/or well respected they are.

Who only know how to take, and don't know how to genuinely give.

Who treats children poorly.

Who have my same level of brokenness and create a " feeding off of one another "

dynamic.

Who does not make me feel loved. I'm not sure I know what it is to feel truly

loved, but I know what it is to be hated. I refuse to nourish

friendships/relationships with people who don't help me learn what it is to be

genuinely loved.

______________

What a great exercise. Thanks so much for inviting me into this process--it

really helped me!!

Blessings,

Karla

>

> I was looking thru my laptop and found something I wrote a couple of years

ago. it was a good exercise and although I wrote it about friendships, it can be

translated to all relationships even those with family.

>

> So, this is what I decided a year or more ago. anyone else want to play with

what you are willing and unwilling to accept in relationships in your life. good

thing to print out and post on the bathroom mirror.

> ---------

>

> I refuse to nourish friendships/relationships with people....

>

> • who don't see me for who I really am.

>

> • who don't appreciate my sense of humor.

>

> • who deny my words as truth.

>

> • who don't honor my choices.

>

> • who throw my mangled words back in my face.

>

> • who insist I play games to be their friend.

>

> • who use money to get my attention.

>

> • who make me question my self-worth.

>

> • who are condescending

>

> • who are racist.

>

> • who don't honor and accept my partner.

>

> • who criticize my feelings and who forbid me to own my feelings.

>

> • who won't go the distance and see that our friendship is worth any effort

required to keep it real.

>

> • who don't honor my need and desire to process.

>

> • who make me want to question myself - when I am very clear about my

feelings.

>

> • who are afraid to take me to task when I am being an asshole.

>

> • who intimidate me or are intimidated by me.

>

> • who frequently look for ulterior motives and don't accept my kindnesses as

pure.

>

> • who set off alarm bells in my gut...even if I can't put it into words

immediately. I will trust my instincts regardless of the popularity of my

decision.

> -------

>

> want to help me add more to the list?

> ame

>