How best to communicate with my mom.

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I've just joined this group (yesterday) seeking support and knowledge. I'm in my

30's and just had a son in January. I feel that in many ways the birth of my son

aggravated a lot of my mother's symptoms as she seemed to rant, rage, and act

out more frequently/easily. She has not been diagnosed with BPD; however, she

exhibits nearly all of the traits. Also, as I have been discussing these issues

with my therapist she commented that she seems to display a lot of the tell-tale

signs.

I have not spoken to my mother for nearly 3 months now and it is very difficult

for me. She lives only 3 hours away and continues to do strange things (for

Mother's day she dropped off some gifts on our porch - but didn't stop in to say

hello), write passive aggressive emails, and leave pitiful sounding voice-mails

('that baby is 4 months old today').

I have been trying to work on a letter that I could send to her; however, I'm

afraid that if I put anything in writing she will just use it against me later.

I don't know how to communicate that I'm tired of the emotional roller-coaster

(her grandiose gestures and hurtful comments) and need to focus on the emotional

well being of my new family. I want to write something that is thoughtful,

loving, but (at the same time) that sets up some boundaries.

Thanks for any advice, suggestion, help you may offer.