I think I attract BPDs

[Guest guest]

I have had this friendship for about 18 months. In recent months I started to

suspect this friend has some kind of severe personality disorder or mental

illness. I don't know HOW THE HECK I ignored all the warning signs! WHY did I

get myself into this mess again?!?!? This woman, who calls herself my " BFF " , has

been accusing my son of " bullying " her child. My son stays away from him, and

the school hasn't seen ANY evidence of it. This other child FOLLOWS my child and

calls him a bully, kicks him " in revenge " and says he likes to make my child

upset because it makes him feel good. I tried to speak to my " friend " , but in

typical BPD fashion, she denied everything and made it ALL my son's fault. She

spies on my child from the parking lot-and tells me that she does! and last week

made up 2 really awful rumors-one about my son and another about my neighbor.

(Long story short-she attempted to make it look like *I* started the rumor, but

it was easy to clear up with my neighbor who has been on the recieving end of

the wrath before).

She has often described how she verbally abuses her children. I am aware that

she gaslights these children regularly. Her children CLEARLY have some SEVERE

emotional/mental issues. They are 11.5 and 7.5. They cannot deferentiate between

fantasy and reality. The 11yo has made up stories that my son STABBED him with a

paperclip at school-totally unfounded and my son was " cleared " , and my son was

kept in from recess 1 day because the child walked by my son's desk and threw

himself to the ground yelling " WHY DID YOU TRIP ME? " He later laughed and

admitted it to my son that he made it up, just to get him in trouble. He also

stares blankly at my son from across the room.

His mother TOLD ME she gave the " okay " to let him " get revenge " , but later

disciplined her son for doing so. She must have forgotten that she ever said it,

or it sounds SO awful that she gaslighted the whole thing and denied every word

and punished her son for an emire weekend for " thinking revenge is okay " . She

has told me that I told HER that my son has " agression issues " . I never said

that cuz it's not true. Then the neighbor told me that my " FRIEND " has been the

one telling people that my son has " agression issues " but somehow in her head

she was able to turn it around so it came out of MY mouth. (My nada has done

this 100s of times-the truth is so ugly that she pins all the inappropriate

things she says on me-same as this " friend " . )

So my question is this: HOW THE HECK DO I NOT REPEAT THIS IN THE NEXT FRIEND?

(this is my 2nd BPD friend, plus then there's nada and my sis)? and is there

ANYTHING I can do to help those poor children? I have always wished that someone

would have come to my defense. I mean I KNOW they are being mentally and

emotionally abused and I *suspect* physical abuse. The problem is this mom

gaslights their life SOOOO much that they don't know what end is up so no one

believes ANYTHING that comes out of their mouths.

I feel sick in my stomach over this. After the son admitted to my son that he

and his mom made it up, that very night she " interroguated him SO much, in my

typical (her name)-fashion that he could no longer form words. So I sent him to

bed and forbade him to speak to ANYONE til he came home from school with The

Truth. " Now this kid KNOWS that he has to DENY the real truth and give her the

version that SHE wants in order to get out of trouble and be allowed to SPEAK

again. Now, this is the stuff she's WILLING to tell me-can you imagine she

craziness that she's too embarrassed to report?

So I have ended my friendship with her. At this point, it would not surprise me

to find her standing in my kitchen with a butcher knife. LOL! or find my tires

slashed in the morning or hear some INSANE rumor about me, or my husband, or my

children. My husband asked " What dirt does she have on you? " and my response is

" None-but that doesn't mean she won't make any! "