bpd-lite?

[Guest guest]

Hi all, I'm seeking some advice about support groups and ways to think about my

nada situation. Even though I relate very strongly with the emotions so many

of you have expressed here, the events that produce those emotions in me are a

bit different. In most classic BPD books like Walking on Eggshells and many

experiences shared here, the typical nada is already in what I call " open

warfare " with the KO. Openly insulting, denigrating, controlling, crazy,

abusive...there's no question in my mind why most people on this list choose NC.

My nada is not like that - she's super passive-aggressive, very covertly

manipulative, very enmeshy and entitled, and rarely ever shows anger at all. If

I hadn't had multiple therapists tell me they think she's likely BPD I wouldn't

believe it. Because all that she does is covert (along with FOO enablers) I

have very little to point to directly, very little to fight against. They've

learned never to act openly against me because I will fight back and cut them

off - I did have to do this once - so now they know just how subtle it has to be

so I can't say a word. On first thought " subtle " shouldn't be so destructive,

but even water can be used to torture.

In the end if I did go NC or try to discuss any issues I'd look like a crazy

person - *I* would be the one who looked like they had BPD and was overreacting

to everything! This group is awesome and no worries I'm not going anywhere, but

I'm wondering if anyone has any idea of what type of group might be best to help

me work with what I'm dealing with? Or if it even is BPD...would you put

another name on it? I used to spend time on the NPD groups a while back, but

just like here it was a partial fit and the NPD parents again were openly

aggressive while what I'm dealing with is all covert aggression.

Ideas appreciated!

Thanks,