Re: Nada broke NC in the middle of my medical boards...

[Guest guest]

How typical!! BPs seem to intuitively know when you are doing something very

good for yourself AND when you are at the threshold of a great success. Its

almost like they can smell it when the culmination of tons of hard work is just

about to come to fruition. And heaven help us, they will get in the middle to

stop/mess up/derail/confuse/sabotage/spoil that!!!

I have a cousin that dated BP long-distance for a a few years. It was

uncanny--even when they weren't together and she hadn't talked to him for

months, he unfailingly called her the week she had to defend her dissertation,

take her test for her masters (I'm sorry--I don't remember the proper phrases)

or meet with her PhD board for the first time. It was UNCANNY!!!

So . . . I think this should be taken as confirmation that you are doing

something spectacular. You are right on track, and you are showing up to your

boards with great success coursing through your veins and your head. Otherwise,

you would have escaped her notice.

As for strategies, my two cents is this: I'm thinking you may have to choose btw

texting nada back or honoring your boards fully. I don't know how you can

engage her right now--for even a minute--and not have it affect you tomorrow.

Put her on hold, if it is at all possible. Just ignore her. Throw away your

phone if you can. It will be worth it.

When you are done, deal with her then. You did NC once, and you can do it

again. This is NOT BIGGER THAN YOU!!

This sucks. You shouldn't have to deal with this now. However, I am confident

this will not derail your boards in any way, shape or form. You've prepared too

well, and she doesn't get to come out to play right now. You get to be the more

important person. Especially right now.

You make all of us KOs proud, my friend!!

Blessings,

Karla

>

> ...and now I'm distressed and I still have Day 2 of the boards tomorrow. I

tried doing LC with nada and canceled a flight home to study and she threw a

hissy fit and decided to give me the silent treatment (even though she was the

one that really wanted me to take the boards- she never wants to acknowledge the

hard work that goes into anything).

>

> I checked my phone during a break and she texted saying that now that the test

was over I should call tonight at 8pm (yes, everything has to be exactly to her

schedule). I texted back and said I was in the middle of the exam and would call

over the weekend although I still don't want to.

>

> I was somewhat anxious during the test but I was able to ignore the problem

until this evening. Ugh!!! I hate that everything is on her terms, she contacts

me when she wants and she tries to force me into contact on her schedule. We

will most likely have to be LC because I'm going back to school and will be

financially dependent on the parents for 2 more years.

>

> I don't know that I'm really looking for a solution, maybe a solution on how

to vent all of this out tonight so I'm not distracted tomorrow??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Karla,

Thank you for your response . You are too sweet! Thanks for including the part

about your cousin- that's part of what was bothering me but I couldn't identify

it. It helps to hear that I'm not " making this up " . That BPDs really do try to

interfere with success. My nada has done this multiple times with my brother and

he actually listens to her and cancels tests at the last minute or changes

careers according to her whim.

" So . . . I think this should be taken as confirmation that you are doing

something spectacular. You are right on track, and you are showing up to your

boards with great success coursing through your veins and your head. Otherwise,

you would have escaped her notice. "

I'm going to keep this in mind tomorrow if I stress out about nada! And don't

worry, the earliest I will call nada is after my next therapy appt!

Thanks,

> >

> > ...and now I'm distressed and I still have Day 2 of the boards tomorrow. I

tried doing LC with nada and canceled a flight home to study and she threw a

hissy fit and decided to give me the silent treatment (even though she was the

one that really wanted me to take the boards- she never wants to acknowledge the

hard work that goes into anything).

> >

> > I checked my phone during a break and she texted saying that now that the

test was over I should call tonight at 8pm (yes, everything has to be exactly to

her schedule). I texted back and said I was in the middle of the exam and would

call over the weekend although I still don't want to.

> >

> > I was somewhat anxious during the test but I was able to ignore the problem

until this evening. Ugh!!! I hate that everything is on her terms, she contacts

me when she wants and she tries to force me into contact on her schedule. We

will most likely have to be LC because I'm going back to school and will be

financially dependent on the parents for 2 more years.

> >

> > I don't know that I'm really looking for a solution, maybe a solution on how

to vent all of this out tonight so I'm not distracted tomorrow??

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Good girl. Knock 'em dead tomorrow.

Blessings,

Karla

> > >

> > > ...and now I'm distressed and I still have Day 2 of the boards tomorrow. I

tried doing LC with nada and canceled a flight home to study and she threw a

hissy fit and decided to give me the silent treatment (even though she was the

one that really wanted me to take the boards- she never wants to acknowledge the

hard work that goes into anything).

> > >

> > > I checked my phone during a break and she texted saying that now that the

test was over I should call tonight at 8pm (yes, everything has to be exactly to

her schedule). I texted back and said I was in the middle of the exam and would

call over the weekend although I still don't want to.

> > >

> > > I was somewhat anxious during the test but I was able to ignore the

problem until this evening. Ugh!!! I hate that everything is on her terms, she

contacts me when she wants and she tries to force me into contact on her

schedule. We will most likely have to be LC because I'm going back to school and

will be financially dependent on the parents for 2 more years.

> > >

> > > I don't know that I'm really looking for a solution, maybe a solution on

how to vent all of this out tonight so I'm not distracted tomorrow??

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, it's odd how even when you're not talking to them, they can stir up the

stress levels in so many ways. I try to tell myself " don't think about it " but

it's there like a big zit on the end of my nose. I can still feel it and it

upsets me.

I like the thing about call at 8:00. My Mom plays a similar game. She just

expects certain things and if we don't do it, she gets snippy or downright

angry. She'll say she wants this and this done. If we only do one thing (due to

time constraints) but not the other, she'll carry on a few days later about how

she doesn't like to " tell us what to do " , she'd rather ask. But then if she does

ask and it doesn't get done, it's like we don't care about what's important to

her. Guilt bombs come flying in.

I'm going to post a complaint about kicking us when we're down. It never seems

to end, whether we're having a good moment in our lives or bad, they just want

to screw it up a bit more.

irene

>

> ...and now I'm distressed and I still have Day 2 of the boards tomorrow. I

tried doing LC with nada and canceled a flight home to study and she threw a

hissy fit and decided to give me the silent treatment (even though she was the

one that really wanted me to take the boards- she never wants to acknowledge the

hard work that goes into anything).

>

> I checked my phone during a break and she texted saying that now that the test

was over I should call tonight at 8pm (yes, everything has to be exactly to her

schedule). I texted back and said I was in the middle of the exam and would call

over the weekend although I still don't want to.

>

> I was somewhat anxious during the test but I was able to ignore the problem

until this evening. Ugh!!! I hate that everything is on her terms, she contacts

me when she wants and she tries to force me into contact on her schedule. We

will most likely have to be LC because I'm going back to school and will be

financially dependent on the parents for 2 more years.

>

> I don't know that I'm really looking for a solution, maybe a solution on how

to vent all of this out tonight so I'm not distracted tomorrow??

>

>

>