Re: Borderline mum has agreed to see psychiatrist to prove she is ok

[Guest guest]

I don't have any experience with this but just wanted to say that if she gets to

pick the psychiatrist there's every chance she'll fool them. I find most mental

health professionals have trouble picking up on what's not explicitly shown to

them...I big complaint of my own about why therapy is difficult.

I can't imagine it would be a fun thing for you, but if she had to interact with

you or be confronted by you in the presence of the psychiatrist it's possible it

might set her off to show the behaviors.

>

> Hi everyone,

> As the title of my post says, my mum (who I suspect has BPD) has agreed to see

a psychiatrist to prove she is ok. Has anyone come across this before? How did

it turn out?

> My mum is high functioning and very clever and manipulative in the way she

presents her side to people outside.

>

> Nav

>

[Guest guest]

My mom snowed a family therapist who was working with my parents when Dad was

diagnosed with cancer. As you can imagine, the therapy sessions wound up being

all about her, instead of focusing on help for him. And to make matters worse,

the therapist pretty much just agreed with her and confirmed everything she said

- even when I was called into a family session and TOLD the T. that Nada was

spending her way through the mall as " shopping therapy " and that she'd bankrupt

herself (which she did...).

The therapist seemed to affirm Nada's worldview, ignore my Dad's need for

someone to talk to, and give Nada permission to do whatever she wanted because

" the therapist said this is good for me. "

Since then, she's had lots of therapists and psych. doctors, and they always

look at her diagnosis of bipolar/depression - and NEVER do they come up a BPD

diagnosis. I have told several of them that I see the DSM-IV criteria behaviors

and that her behavior towards me fits the BPD profile. I had one good

conversation with a psychiatrist who was evaluating her - he saw it all too, and

gave me good advice. But the advice was for ME - how to deal with it as a KO.

So that was wonderful.

So, bottom line - if you don't get a chance to tell the doctor about the BPD

behavior, they won't see it. Once you DO tell them, they can put 2 and 2

together pretty fast. They cannot diagnose BPD without getting the context of

the patient's behavior to family members and close friends, IMO.

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> > As the title of my post says, my mum (who I suspect has BPD) has agreed to

see a psychiatrist to prove she is ok. Has anyone come across this before? How

did it turn out?

> > My mum is high functioning and very clever and manipulative in the way she

presents her side to people outside.

> >

> > Nav

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the suggestions. My mum's denial of herself has recently escalated

that she really believes she is doing great and at " peace with God " .

Previously whenever she was asked to seek help she dodged the question. Now she

is in so much in denial she is agreeing to seek help to prove she is ok.

Yesterday at the mention of a psychiatrist she said " bring it on " !

I didn't know to laugh or cry...

If she does actually wind up going to a psychiatrist I am going to try to speak

to them with my concerns about her behaviour. But at this point I fully expect

it not to work or make any difference. She has spent 60 years on this planet

fooling herself and everyone else around her. Can't see it changing now.

*sigh*

[Guest guest]

this really irks me. I think because those are mood disorders that can be

treated with non-mood altering drugs so they are like a soft white cloud to the

shrink or something. BPD in a client is probably about as desirable to them as a

case of hemorrhoids.

> > >

> > > Hi everyone,

> > > As the title of my post says, my mum (who I suspect has BPD) has agreed to

see a psychiatrist to prove she is ok. Has anyone come across this before? How

did it turn out?

> > > My mum is high functioning and very clever and manipulative in the way she

presents her side to people outside.

> > >

> > > Nav

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Bahaha... " at peace with G-d " Nada's do like to see themselves as whole,

well-rounded, spiritually elite beings, don't they? Or maybe it's just mine.

She's pulled the " I'm connected with G-d therefore you're evil if you don't

agree with me " card on me SO many times, and she comes up with the most

ridiculous " facts " to back that up.

-She has a spirit guide named Craig that she actually hears and sees...

sometimes " Craig " doesn't approve of what I'm doing to my poor, poor Nada.

-She is psychic and can ask G-d questions. She knows how the universe works

because she can talk to G-d, and she knows the " fourth law " that Einstein

forgot.

-She saw some orthodox Jewish men (from Chabad no doubt) on the street at Sukkot

and discovered that because her mother's mother's mother's mother was Jewish, so

was she. After that she decided that G-d meant that to happen so she could lead

the Jewish people and show them the light (Jesus?).

-She decided that she must be really attuned to G-d, nature, and the universe

and therefore a superior spiritual being because her menstrual cycle was in sync

with the moon.

Of course, in between believing these " facts " she'll swing back to " I was

horribly horribly wrong, maybe I should do XYZ instead " (markedly and

persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.) She'll work really hard at

converting to Judaism for a few weeks, then Craig will show her that she was

meant to be a Catholic, and after that the Jews become the most horrible,

backwards religion/race ever (I've been trying to convert officially for the

past 4-ish years, so that was an awkward shift to deal with). She'll go from

being 100% in tune with G-d and the universe, to not being able to " see " things

and asking me to be psychic for her (she's convinced that I'm psychic, but

deliberately " denying " it to hurt her). Rawr... I'm still bitter.

I'm pretty sure that there's a high likelihood that my Nada has both NPD and

BPD... She's a classic Queen and high-functioning BPD, and she meets ALL the

criteria except suicidal gestures/attempts (unless you count, " if you died, I'd

kill myself " ). As for NPD, she *is* missing the " lack of empathy " that's a

hallmark of NPD, which makes me suspect that BPD is the more likely culprit, but

at the end of the day labels are labels... no matter what she's called, she's

messed up.

Oh golly, that was a long vent. Sorry guys >.<

Frances

>

>

>

> Thanks for the suggestions. My mum's denial of herself has recently escalated

that she really believes she is doing great and at " peace with God " .

> Previously whenever she was asked to seek help she dodged the question. Now

she is in so much in denial she is agreeing to seek help to prove she is ok.

Yesterday at the mention of a psychiatrist she said " bring it on " !

> I didn't know to laugh or cry...

>

> If she does actually wind up going to a psychiatrist I am going to try to

speak to them with my concerns about her behaviour. But at this point I fully

expect it not to work or make any difference. She has spent 60 years on this

planet fooling herself and everyone else around her. Can't see it changing now.

> *sigh*

>

[Guest guest]

Wow. My mother in law claims she sees spirits too.

Crazy.

Re: Borderline mum has agreed to see psychiatrist

to prove she is ok

Bahaha... " at peace with G-d " Nada's do like to see themselves as whole,

well-rounded, spiritually elite beings, don't they? Or maybe it's just mine.

She's pulled the " I'm connected with G-d therefore you're evil if you don't

agree with me " card on me SO many times, and she comes up with the most

ridiculous " facts " to back that up.

-She has a spirit guide named Craig that she actually hears and sees...

sometimes " Craig " doesn't approve of what I'm doing to my poor, poor Nada.

-She is psychic and can ask G-d questions. She knows how the universe works

because she can talk to G-d, and she knows the " fourth law " that Einstein

forgot.

-She saw some orthodox Jewish men (from Chabad no doubt) on the street at Sukkot

and discovered that because her mother's mother's mother's mother was Jewish, so

was she. After that she decided that G-d meant that to happen so she could lead

the Jewish people and show them the light (Jesus?).

-She decided that she must be really attuned to G-d, nature, and the universe

and therefore a superior spiritual being because her menstrual cycle was in sync

with the moon.

Of course, in between believing these " facts " she'll swing back to " I was

horribly horribly wrong, maybe I should do XYZ instead " (markedly and

persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.) She'll work really hard at

converting to Judaism for a few weeks, then Craig will show her that she was

meant to be a Catholic, and after that the Jews become the most horrible,

backwards religion/race ever (I've been trying to convert officially for the

past 4-ish years, so that was an awkward shift to deal with). She'll go from

being 100% in tune with G-d and the universe, to not being able to " see " things

and asking me to be psychic for her (she's convinced that I'm psychic, but

deliberately " denying " it to hurt her). Rawr... I'm still bitter.

I'm pretty sure that there's a high likelihood that my Nada has both NPD and

BPD... She's a classic Queen and high-functioning BPD, and she meets ALL the

criteria except suicidal gestures/attempts (unless you count, " if you died, I'd

kill myself " ). As for NPD, she *is* missing the " lack of empathy " that's a

hallmark of NPD, which makes me suspect that BPD is the more likely culprit, but

at the end of the day labels are labels... no matter what she's called, she's

messed up.

Oh golly, that was a long vent. Sorry guys >.<

Frances

>

>

>

> Thanks for the suggestions. My mum's denial of herself has recently escalated

that she really believes she is doing great and at " peace with God " .

> Previously whenever she was asked to seek help she dodged the question. Now

she is in so much in denial she is agreeing to seek help to prove she is ok.

Yesterday at the mention of a psychiatrist she said " bring it on " !

> I didn't know to laugh or cry...

>

> If she does actually wind up going to a psychiatrist I am going to try to

speak to them with my concerns about her behaviour. But at this point I fully

expect it not to work or make any difference. She has spent 60 years on this

planet fooling herself and everyone else around her. Can't see it changing now.

> *sigh*

>

[Guest guest]

Oy vey!

And I really don't know what to make of it. I know perfectly sane, healthy,

well-adapted people who believe in the supernatural and all that, but they can

accept or at least entertain the idea that not everyone does and that it's not a

battle (I'm right YOU'RE wrong), nor do they use it as blackmail or anything.

My Nada raised me with the threat that if I hid anything from her, she would

" see " it. She can't even entertain the idea that she might be wrong (unless it's

ALL wrong, etc) and she really honestly believes this stuff. Hell, I've gotten

yelled at for dreams/visions that she's had about me! And naturally as a young

child with no other frame of reference (limited contact with the rest of the

world), I believed her and lived in fear of her " magical powers " for most of my

life. I hate to admit this, but a lot of the time I worry about whether or not

she's right, and if she is, what does that mean for me now that I've gone NC.

My Nada believes that any person or establishment that " wrongs " her will go

bankrupt or be ruined in some way or another within a year of the blow-up. There

have been enough coincidences to scare me (considering that I was raised to 100%

believe in her " abilities " ). Wow, I sound almost as crazy as she does.

Does anyone else, especially only children or people cut off from family and the

outside world, get the feeling that they were brainwashed or that NC is like

leaving a cult?

-Frances

> >

> >

> >

> > Thanks for the suggestions. My mum's denial of herself has recently

escalated that she really believes she is doing great and at " peace with God " .

> > Previously whenever she was asked to seek help she dodged the question. Now

she is in so much in denial she is agreeing to seek help to prove she is ok.

Yesterday at the mention of a psychiatrist she said " bring it on " !

> > I didn't know to laugh or cry...

> >

> > If she does actually wind up going to a psychiatrist I am going to try to

speak to them with my concerns about her behaviour. But at this point I fully

expect it not to work or make any difference. She has spent 60 years on this

planet fooling herself and everyone else around her. Can't see it changing now.

> > *sigh*

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

If there's such a thing as Nada's being psychic then they've got a nasty

parasite in their psyche. The delusional, paranoid and well f***up kind.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wed, June 30, 2010 6:26:04 AM

Subject: Re: Borderline mum has agreed to see psychiatrist

to prove she is ok

Â

Bahaha... " at peace with G-d " Nada's do like to see themselves as whole,

well-rounded, spiritually elite beings, don't they? Or maybe it's just mine.

She's pulled the " I'm connected with G-d therefore you're evil if you don't

agree with me " card on me SO many times, and she comes up with the most

ridiculous " facts " to back that up.

-She has a spirit guide named Craig that she actually hears and sees...

sometimes " Craig " doesn't approve of what I'm doing to my poor, poor Nada.

-She is psychic and can ask G-d questions. She knows how the universe works

because she can talk to G-d, and she knows the " fourth law " that Einstein

forgot.

-She saw some orthodox Jewish men (from Chabad no doubt) on the street at Sukkot

and discovered that because her mother's mother's mother's mother was Jewish, so

was she. After that she decided that G-d meant that to happen so she could lead

the Jewish people and show them the light (Jesus?).

-She decided that she must be really attuned to G-d, nature, and the universe

and therefore a superior spiritual being because her menstrual cycle was in sync

with the moon.

Of course, in between believing these " facts " she'll swing back to " I was

horribly horribly wrong, maybe I should do XYZ instead " (markedly and

persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.) She'll work really hard at

converting to Judaism for a few weeks, then Craig will show her that she was

meant to be a Catholic, and after that the Jews become the most horrible,

backwards religion/race ever (I've been trying to convert officially for the

past 4-ish years, so that was an awkward shift to deal with). She'll go from

being 100% in tune with G-d and the universe, to not being able to " see " things

and asking me to be psychic for her (she's convinced that I'm psychic, but

deliberately " denying " it to hurt her). Rawr... I'm still bitter.

I'm pretty sure that there's a high likelihood that my Nada has both NPD and

BPD... She's a classic Queen and high-functioning BPD, and she meets ALL the

criteria except suicidal gestures/attempts (unless you count, " if you died, I'd

kill myself " ). As for NPD, she *is* missing the " lack of empathy " that's a

hallmark of NPD, which makes me suspect that BPD is the more likely culprit, but

at the end of the day labels are labels... no matter what she's called, she's

messed up.

Oh golly, that was a long vent. Sorry guys >.<

Frances

>

>

>

> Thanks for the suggestions. My mum's denial of herself has recently escalated

that she really believes she is doing great and at " peace with God " .

> Previously whenever she was asked to seek help she dodged the question. Now

she is in so much in denial she is agreeing to seek help to prove she is ok.

Yesterday at the mention of a psychiatrist she said " bring it on " !

> I didn't know to laugh or cry...

>

> If she does actually wind up going to a psychiatrist I am going to try to

speak to them with my concerns about her behaviour. But at this point I fully

expect it not to work or make any difference. She has spent 60 years on this

planet fooling herself and everyone else around her. Can't see it changing now.

> *sigh*

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry- but I'm new here. Who/What is " Nada " that seems to be talked about all

over this site??

> >

> >

> >

> > Thanks for the suggestions. My mum's denial of herself has recently

escalated that she really believes she is doing great and at " peace with God " .

> > Previously whenever she was asked to seek help she dodged the question. Now

she is in so much in denial she is agreeing to seek help to prove she is ok.

Yesterday at the mention of a psychiatrist she said " bring it on " !

> > I didn't know to laugh or cry...

> >

> > If she does actually wind up going to a psychiatrist I am going to try to

speak to them with my concerns about her behaviour. But at this point I fully

expect it not to work or make any difference. She has spent 60 years on this

planet fooling herself and everyone else around her. Can't see it changing now.

> > *sigh*

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Nada is a, well, isn't a mother... a " not-a-mother " Essentially, a " mother " with

BPD. Fada is the father equivalent.

When I first joined, there were a lot of posts about going NC with Nada. I

thought NC (no contact) meant North Carolina, so I was very VERY confused about

how so many people knew this " Nada " person in North Carolina

If you look under " Files " (left menu column thing), you'll find a document with

all the abbreviations. Quick review:

Nada - Borderline mother

Fada - Borderline father

BP - Person with Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder

KO - Kid of a BP

FO - family of origin

NC - No contact

LC - Limited contact

Some others:

FOG - Fear, obligation, guilt

NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder

SWOE - Stop Walking on Eggshells (a book about living with BPs)

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Thanks for the suggestions. My mum's denial of herself has recently

escalated that she really believes she is doing great and at " peace with God " .

> > > Previously whenever she was asked to seek help she dodged the question.

Now she is in so much in denial she is agreeing to seek help to prove she is ok.

Yesterday at the mention of a psychiatrist she said " bring it on " !

> > > I didn't know to laugh or cry...

> > >

> > > If she does actually wind up going to a psychiatrist I am going to try to

speak to them with my concerns about her behaviour. But at this point I fully

expect it not to work or make any difference. She has spent 60 years on this

planet fooling herself and everyone else around her. Can't see it changing now.

> > > *sigh*

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >