RE: NEMC Meeting Tonight

[Guest guest]

Anita,

" She said that it was a sad statement for me that the only way I would be

willing to take care of myself around food (i.e., would not abuse myself

with food) is to have to be forced to do so via feeling physically ill. "

My 2 cents...

Does she not understand that food is an addiction for you? That you are just

like the alcoholic and drug addict when it comes to food. Except that food

is a horrible addiction which cannot be removed from your everyday life, as

you have to see it, smell it, prepare it, etc. every day for the rest of

your life? Can she not see the surgery for what it is, a tool to help you to

change behavior about food while you continue to work on the " why's " of your

overeating? If this was so simple, would there be so many of us who suffer

from Morbid Obesity? Having spoken with you on several occasions and read

your emails, I see that your pursuit of WLS is in order to help eliminate

your self hate, don't we all have it? I know I hate myself every morning as

I struggle with something to wear to hide the fat. As I climb the stairs at

work and sweat and become short of breath and when I look in the mirror and

see this fat person looking back at me and I think too myself " what have I

done " ! Yes, I hate myself, but I see the surgery as a last ditch effort to

provide me with a tool to help me to forgive and love myself again. To

regain confidence and have energy and to like the person I see in the

mirror. I do not take the surgery lightly, I know for me that I cannot

continue down this path of self destruction and that because I am worthy of

being healthy and happy I will go forward with this drastic method of

loosing weight... Only you can determine your reasons for the surgery.

Take care,

Joni - 7 days pre-op

NEMC Meeting Tonight

Hi All,

I haven't checked in over the weekend so I have some catching up to

do. Hope everyone had a super weekend. Tonight there is a support

group meeting at NEMC and I was wondering if anyone on this list is

going or knows exactly how to get to the meeting. I'm a bit scared of

going on my own but committed to experiencing another meeting. If

anyone has info on this and could let me know I'd really appreciate

it.

Also, last Friday I got bogged down with work but I was going to send

a post about something my therapist said - I wanted some opinions -

Basically, I told her that based on everything I've read and everyone

I've spoken with, one of the main reasons people stop compulsively

overeating (at least at the level they did prior to surgery) is

because of the negative effects overeating has after the surgery -

it's basically aversive therapy - kind of like antibuse for an

alcoholic. She said that it was a sad statement for me that the only

way I would be willing to take care of myself around food (i.e.,

would not abuse myself with food) is to have to be forced to do so

via feeling physically ill. Her comment has really stuck with me -

and I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on the subject. I should

also add that she asked me point blank if I was considering this

surgery out of self-love or self-hate and I said I believe it's

mostly out of self-love - to this she replied that she would not

support me in having the surgery unless I was clear that my decision

was purely coming from a place of self-love. In general I haven't

been sleeping well at all lately - very focused and I guess obsessed

about the surgery and everyone's opinion and just a million thoughts

swirling around in my head. I don't know if this is normal but it

certainly is no fun. Thanks as always for your support.

Anita