Re: Q's on codependency

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Have you read any books by Melody Beattie? Her book 'Codependent No More' is a

good place to start. Plus she has a daily reading book called 'Language of

letting go' which I read everyday.

I did not cut off contact my boderline mum when I started looking at my

codependency (in fact I was living with her at the time!)

For me it has been a gradual process and each step forward I have taken towards

healthly behaviours, for me, that has resulted in a step away I have had to take

from ny relationship with her.

Now I am relativly LC and that has been my own choice and it has taken me 7

years to get to this place.

I have found there is no right or wrong way to work on codependency.

Nav

x

>

> I would really like to work on my codependency as I now see it is the

overarching theme to many of my dysfunctions. A few things about " working on it "

worry me though. Since we developed these behaviors to protect ourselves from

nada, will recovering from codependency make me less able to deal with nada? And

I have found a few websites that say the only way to recover is to completely

remove yourself from the person with whom you are codependent. In my case, this

is one of my best friends. I'll begrudgingly do this if it's really necessary

but we don't even live in the same area so I'm wondering if that is needed. Do

any of you have suggestions to the above questions or how to recover from

codependency in general? Have any of you tried the group meetings?

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Nav,

I have read Codependent No More, which I thought was a good read but not

particularly helpful with where to go from here. I'll check out the Language of

Letting Go. I'm definitely interested with books that describe a more guided

process on what to work on. That's interesting to hear that you started to read

these books while living with your nada, that must have been really hard! Thanks

for giving me an idea of what to anticipate on this journey and congrats for

making it so far on yours

> >

> > I would really like to work on my codependency as I now see it is the

overarching theme to many of my dysfunctions. A few things about " working on it "

worry me though. Since we developed these behaviors to protect ourselves from

nada, will recovering from codependency make me less able to deal with nada? And

I have found a few websites that say the only way to recover is to completely

remove yourself from the person with whom you are codependent. In my case, this

is one of my best friends. I'll begrudgingly do this if it's really necessary

but we don't even live in the same area so I'm wondering if that is needed. Do

any of you have suggestions to the above questions or how to recover from

codependency in general? Have any of you tried the group meetings?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

I didn't mention in my previous post I have found 12 step groups helpful.

Bouncing my thoughts and feelings off people who have been in unhealthy

relationships and are interested in moving forward does me good.

Nav