transfer of emotions/ emotional process from bdp to ko

[Guest guest]

I am probably not going to articulate this well at all, but my mother has done

this all my life, and I have an aunt that does this as well. in fact my aunt is

far worse, she can give you whiplash by how fast she disagrees with herself.

my mother has feelings, which she dumps on me. then I empathize. somehow she

gets a release from this and doesn't have the feelings anymore. if I stand up

for her or whatever (which I did all the time growing up, with my dad, because

he was an abuser and I was young and naive), suddenly, not only can she not see

her point of view that she *just* had, but now I am also bad and awful for

creating problems/trouble/drama, and not only does she not claim having the

prior emotional state, but I am 'black on black' for feeling the way I do.

How do they do this? Can anyone relate? it makes my head spin, it's literally

like they take their own emotional state, that causes them discomfort because it

conflicts with how they want to see things, and they implant it within YOU, like

a tumor. And then they turn around and go 'ew, look, you've got a tumor!'. My

aunt will do this ten times in conversation. Make a statement, get your

agreement, and then turn around and disagree with you, so that she is

essentially disagreeing with herself. I know this comes from trauma but it is so

weird to me, and crazy-making.