the things we teach kids screwed me UP!

[Guest guest]

I grew up thinking in terms of black and white. It has caused me all sorts

of trouble. I expected all those things parents, teachers, books, kids tv

programs teach us: that good=good and bad=bad. Everyone shares. Everyone waits

their turn. Everyone looks out for each other. Bad people get punished. You get

my drift. Well, since my Mom was BAD and hurt me terribly, I started being hyper

sensitive to any unjust look, statement, or behavior from anyone, and at the

first sign of trouble, I'd bolt. They'd be permanently removed from my life. I

left a lot of people stunned, unsure of what they'd done. It took me YEARS to

figure out that there is no black or white in life. Everything is shades of

gray. Perhaps that person misunderstood. Or I did. Or they had a bad day. That

did not necessarily make them a danger to me. I see now that it was a natural

reaction to being abused. I was trying to protect myself.

I was SO hung up on the fair thing. Everthing should be fair. People should

treat others well unless done wrong by them. People should be courteous. People

should be kind to kids and animals. Well, since life is NOT like that very often

I was enraged, confused, sad, and lost my faith in humanity for a long time. I

finally realized, what you see isn't always what you get, and am learning to

accept shades of gray into my life. I am so much happier and more at peace now.

I hope this helps someone else that might be struggling with this issue. Much

love.