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Life After BPD

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For those of us who believe in the soul living on after death, I often wonder

how a BPD feels when they realize the extent of difficulty they have caused

their child, and their childs true feelings towards them...hate tinged with

love and loathing.

Or, are they still BPD...engrained into their soul after this life? And

therefore it is still ALL about them?

I find myself being guilted (already) into worrying about how she will feel when

she passes and finds that she really caused so many problems in my life, just by

being. I don't want to hurt anyone. But, honestly, how else will a soul move

on without recognition of the truth? They were full time care. They thwarted

our personal growth and development at every turn...that would have given

confidence, they hedged up the way.

Maybe, we all affect others in these ways on some level. But, still I wonder.

I love my mother. More, I needed her sincere love, encouragement, and help

that was not there in times of trouble. Because, she could not give it.

Doesn't mean her intensions weren't in place and that it may have meant alot to

her to be a good mother. She just was unable to on so many levels. For that I

cry for her.

I know, as a mother, I could not bare to think I'd caused my child harm. Of

course, I'm not BPD. I'm neuro-typical.

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