Re: Am at my breaking point- please help!

[Guest guest]

Take out the loans.  Money from Nada always comes with strings attached.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Mon, July 5, 2010 1:47:02 AM

Subject: Am at my breaking point- please help!

 

I am at my breaking point and am still somehow FLOORED by how crazy nada is and

how she has gotten the entire family to side with her.

Brief background: I was in residency for general surgery (medicine was forced on

me) and severely disliked it and decided to pursue my real passion- health

policy. My nada and fada went ballistic and have tried to bribe, coerce, and

physically force me to go back to residency. Their entire reason for trying to

make me go back is I'm now " unmarriageable " and I have to go back so that

someone will marry me (and then I can drop out).

After 5 weeks of NC (nada's choice, I was trying for LC but it pissed her off so

she gave me the silent treatment), nada texted during my medical boards. I

finally called her back today. First my fada picked up and asked me how the test

went so I thought it would be fine. Then he said, look we found a boy who will

marry you but only if you go back to residency so you have to. And then I spent

20 min telling him I wasn't going back and I understood I wouldn't change his

mind about business school but he also wasn't going to change my mind.

And then I talked to my nada. When she realized she wasn't going to change my

mind she said-ok well then you should take out loans (for business school) and

we're going to sell your apt, furniture, and anything you leave in it. And I

said that's fine if she wanted to sell the apt but it would make more sense for

me to just move everything out of it (instead of renting/buying new furniture)

but her only compromise was to move everything back to their home.

I don't mean to sound spoiled but the only reason she even wants to sell my apt

is so she can buy another multimillion dollar house. She has several of these

lying around empty so it makes me bitter that she won't sell them to help

finance my education (and I got a massive merit based scholarship so the

remaining tuition isn't even that much). I had a condo near home for medical

school and I asked her if she sold it yet and she said they were keeping it for

when I finally moved home. So they are blowing almost $1000 per month on condo

fees bec they're in denial.

I'm so so so mad and I was trying to keep LC until the end of B school because I

feel like after years of torture the least they can do is financially support

me. But I'm starting to wonder if I should suck it up and take out loans and do

NC. I just am so amazed that: 1. they truly don't care about my happiness 2. the

only " skill " they seem to have is making me feel like crap about myself.

Thanks for listening,

[Guest guest]

Wow , short answer take out the loans. *Any* dependence of any kind -

financial, emotional, health - on personality disordered people is dangerous. I

know sometimes circumstances get desperate and there's not much choice or that

the arrangement of them paying for certain things was in place before it became

clear how bad things were. I know how it stings to see there's so much plenty

there and it would cost them so little to give it and mean so much to you, but

they won't or else they won't without putting a massive price on it. I don't

know how entangled you are with them, but the more unentangled your finances are

the freer you will be to choose for yourself.

Also what's this about finding a man who'll marry you? Would this be like an

arranged marriage???

>

> I am at my breaking point and am still somehow FLOORED by how crazy nada is

and how she has gotten the entire family to side with her.

>

> Brief background: I was in residency for general surgery (medicine was forced

on me) and severely disliked it and decided to pursue my real passion- health

policy. My nada and fada went ballistic and have tried to bribe, coerce, and

physically force me to go back to residency. Their entire reason for trying to

make me go back is I'm now " unmarriageable " and I have to go back so that

someone will marry me (and then I can drop out).

>

> After 5 weeks of NC (nada's choice, I was trying for LC but it pissed her off

so she gave me the silent treatment), nada texted during my medical boards. I

finally called her back today. First my fada picked up and asked me how the test

went so I thought it would be fine. Then he said, look we found a boy who will

marry you but only if you go back to residency so you have to. And then I spent

20 min telling him I wasn't going back and I understood I wouldn't change his

mind about business school but he also wasn't going to change my mind.

>

> And then I talked to my nada. When she realized she wasn't going to change my

mind she said-ok well then you should take out loans (for business school) and

we're going to sell your apt, furniture, and anything you leave in it. And I

said that's fine if she wanted to sell the apt but it would make more sense for

me to just move everything out of it (instead of renting/buying new furniture)

but her only compromise was to move everything back to their home.

>

> I don't mean to sound spoiled but the only reason she even wants to sell my

apt is so she can buy another multimillion dollar house. She has several of

these lying around empty so it makes me bitter that she won't sell them to help

finance my education (and I got a massive merit based scholarship so the

remaining tuition isn't even that much). I had a condo near home for medical

school and I asked her if she sold it yet and she said they were keeping it for

when I finally moved home. So they are blowing almost $1000 per month on condo

fees bec they're in denial.

>

> I'm so so so mad and I was trying to keep LC until the end of B school because

I feel like after years of torture the least they can do is financially support

me. But I'm starting to wonder if I should suck it up and take out loans and do

NC. I just am so amazed that: 1. they truly don't care about my happiness 2. the

only " skill " they seem to have is making me feel like crap about myself.

>

> Thanks for listening,

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Taking out loans sounds like the right answer. As long as they

can use money to control you, they'll do so. They don't see you

as a person who has a right to make her own choices and it seems

unlikely that they ever will. Not only do they want to choose

your career for you, they want to arrange a marriage for you as

well. It isn't clear to me whether the problem here is all BPD

or whether some of it is that your family comes from a culture

where parents do things like that. Either way, you're not going

to get control of your life as long as they have a great big

lever to use to push you in the direction they want.

At 01:47 AM 07/05/2010 cocochanel1005 wrote:

>I am at my breaking point and am still somehow FLOORED by how

>crazy nada is and how she has gotten the entire family to side

>with her.

>

>Brief background: I was in residency for general surgery

>(medicine was forced on me) and severely disliked it and

>decided to pursue my real passion- health policy. My nada and

>fada went ballistic and have tried to bribe, coerce, and

>physically force me to go back to residency. Their entire

>reason for trying to make me go back is I'm now

> " unmarriageable " and I have to go back so that someone will

>marry me (and then I can drop out).

>

>After 5 weeks of NC (nada's choice, I was trying for LC but it

>pissed her off so she gave me the silent treatment), nada

>texted during my medical boards. I finally called her back

>today. First my fada picked up and asked me how the test went

>so I thought it would be fine. Then he said, look we found a

>boy who will marry you but only if you go back to residency so

>you have to. And then I spent 20 min telling him I wasn't going

>back and I understood I wouldn't change his mind about business

>school but he also wasn't going to change my mind.

>

>And then I talked to my nada. When she realized she wasn't

>going to change my mind she said-ok well then you should take

>out loans (for business school) and we're going to sell your

>apt, furniture, and anything you leave in it. And I said that's

>fine if she wanted to sell the apt but it would make more sense

>for me to just move everything out of it (instead of

>renting/buying new furniture) but her only compromise was to

>move everything back to their home.

>

>I don't mean to sound spoiled but the only reason she even

>wants to sell my apt is so she can buy another multimillion

>dollar house. She has several of these lying around empty so it

>makes me bitter that she won't sell them to help finance my

>education (and I got a massive merit based scholarship so the

>remaining tuition isn't even that much). I had a condo near

>home for medical school and I asked her if she sold it yet and

>she said they were keeping it for when I finally moved home. So

>they are blowing almost $1000 per month on condo fees bec

>they're in denial.

>

>I'm so so so mad and I was trying to keep LC until the end of B

>school because I feel like after years of torture the least

>they can do is financially support me. But I'm starting to

>wonder if I should suck it up and take out loans and do NC. I

>just am so amazed that: 1. they truly don't care about my

>happiness 2. the only " skill " they seem to have is making me

>feel like crap about myself.

>

>Thanks for listening,

>

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

Oh . Oh, my heart goes out to you! I have had an extremely similar

experience. I'm just finishing up a PhD in my own field, now. I watched,

confused and hurt, as my parents spent hudreds of thousands of dollars on houses

and cars and luxury vacations (including gifst for my split good sister) but

kept me in debt and refused to meaningfully contribute to my career OR my

financial independence, instead denigrating my work (which is as serious as

yours), obsessing over me being 'not worthy' of a man/kids, and using their

financial power over me to exploit me into affirming their reality, and bowing

to their whims du jour.

I want to tell you that I was not able to actually finish my degree until I

became completely independent of them, financially. At first it seemed

completely impossible. They had it set up--on PURPOSE--that I would have to

make extreme sacrfices and lifestyle changes if I were to rip myself from them.

I did it anyway. I think it's thrown them for a loop. You may, like me, have a

narcissistic father who does not want you to succeed, who is trying not to

'allow' you financial independence; basic independence.

If there is a way for you to fully finance yourself at this point--FULLY--I am

here to bear witness that even the most extreme steps are fully worth it. I

wish someone had said to me--take a good luck at your budget. Elimate all

unnecessary expenses. Try to use credit cards as little as possible. Get a

roommate. Don't worry about buying 'luxury' clothes or keeping your hair

perfectly hilighted in attempt to prove your worth as a potential 'wife' (I'll

be you are getting pressure on this front, too). Consult with financial

officers at school or whatever help you can.

This is extremely important. I cannot stress it enough. The ONLY way to

empower yourself to act against their will is to become completely independent

of them, financially. I kept trying to please them, and kept holding on for SO

long, trying to get the carrots they held out, that by the time I broke free the

FIRE they had set up for me to walk through was so huge that I almost burnt

up--and my pet did die, and my finances were entirely destroyed.

It was worth it, and I would do it again, but if I hadn't waited so long to

stand firmly on my own two feet, not waiting for THEM to be pleased enough to

'free' me, or for the 'husband' they insisted would free me if I was only worthy

like my sister was--if I had stopped waiting earlier, then things would not have

died for me to get free now, then things would be SO much easier for me now.

Instead I am crawling to the finish line, my entire past life and financial

health completely destroyed.

I will be your cheering squad here, . You can do this! Public health

policy is so extremely important. It is about saving lives. That is more

important than nada's lustful self-obsession and greedy need to harm and control

you. Good luck. Keep us posted, please.

Best wishes,

Charlie

>

> I am at my breaking point and am still somehow FLOORED by how crazy nada is

and how she has gotten the entire family to side with her.

>

> Brief background: I was in residency for general surgery (medicine was forced

on me) and severely disliked it and decided to pursue my real passion- health

policy. My nada and fada went ballistic and have tried to bribe, coerce, and

physically force me to go back to residency. Their entire reason for trying to

make me go back is I'm now " unmarriageable " and I have to go back so that

someone will marry me (and then I can drop out).

>

> After 5 weeks of NC (nada's choice, I was trying for LC but it pissed her off

so she gave me the silent treatment), nada texted during my medical boards. I

finally called her back today. First my fada picked up and asked me how the test

went so I thought it would be fine. Then he said, look we found a boy who will

marry you but only if you go back to residency so you have to. And then I spent

20 min telling him I wasn't going back and I understood I wouldn't change his

mind about business school but he also wasn't going to change my mind.

>

> And then I talked to my nada. When she realized she wasn't going to change my

mind she said-ok well then you should take out loans (for business school) and

we're going to sell your apt, furniture, and anything you leave in it. And I

said that's fine if she wanted to sell the apt but it would make more sense for

me to just move everything out of it (instead of renting/buying new furniture)

but her only compromise was to move everything back to their home.

>

> I don't mean to sound spoiled but the only reason she even wants to sell my

apt is so she can buy another multimillion dollar house. She has several of

these lying around empty so it makes me bitter that she won't sell them to help

finance my education (and I got a massive merit based scholarship so the

remaining tuition isn't even that much). I had a condo near home for medical

school and I asked her if she sold it yet and she said they were keeping it for

when I finally moved home. So they are blowing almost $1000 per month on condo

fees bec they're in denial.

>

> I'm so so so mad and I was trying to keep LC until the end of B school because

I feel like after years of torture the least they can do is financially support

me. But I'm starting to wonder if I should suck it up and take out loans and do

NC. I just am so amazed that: 1. they truly don't care about my happiness 2. the

only " skill " they seem to have is making me feel like crap about myself.

>

> Thanks for listening,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your posts. Charlie, I think you nailed a lot of

specifically what bothered me about the situation- the fact that nada and fada

have so much excess that they shower on my brother (poss bpd) who is unemployed

and has never worked a day in his life...but refuse to support me. You also

nailed a lot of the emotions they evoke- the fact that they make me feel

unworthy for anyone. I went to a party right after my conversation with nada and

fada and there was a cute boy who I kept making eyes with all night. I couldn't

bring myself to talk to him though because I feel so broken and trapped in such

a crazy world!!

It also drives me crazy that nada controls all the expenses when she's

ridiculously irresponsible and has also never worked a day in her life. I was

planning on calling fada to see if he truly wanted me to take out loans but the

more I think about it the more I just want to get the h*ll out of this

situation.

I've been looking at loans but it's kind of ridiculous! The amt my school

estimates for housing doesn't even cover living in their dorms and banks won't

loan more than the estimated amount. I'm thinking about mass selling everything

I possibly can to help make up the difference. My situation is similar to yours,

Charlie. My nada and fada have enmeshed me in such a way that it's going to be

hard to break free. Nada and I dually own my condo right now (that she's decided

to sell) so I am going to have to be in touch again at some point when they

sell.

I'm still in shock at how much she's gotten fada to believe all this crap. I

just really can't believe that I have no allies. Having your whole family turn

against you makes you feel like you must be doing something really bad...like

being a drug addict turned to prostitution. But no, they're turning against me

because I want to pursue higher education. Sigh.

And to those who asked- yes, they do want me in an arranged marriage and it's

partly cultural (for them) but few (if any) of their friends have continued that

tradition with their kids. They have chosen to continue *only the controlling

parts of the culture and none of the rest of it (no honoring holidays or going

to temple etc).

I just can't believe that I've been expecting things to get slightly better and

instead they've gotten drastically worse.

> >

> > I am at my breaking point and am still somehow FLOORED by how crazy nada is

and how she has gotten the entire family to side with her.

> >

> > Brief background: I was in residency for general surgery (medicine was

forced on me) and severely disliked it and decided to pursue my real passion-

health policy. My nada and fada went ballistic and have tried to bribe, coerce,

and physically force me to go back to residency. Their entire reason for trying

to make me go back is I'm now " unmarriageable " and I have to go back so that

someone will marry me (and then I can drop out).

> >

> > After 5 weeks of NC (nada's choice, I was trying for LC but it pissed her

off so she gave me the silent treatment), nada texted during my medical boards.

I finally called her back today. First my fada picked up and asked me how the

test went so I thought it would be fine. Then he said, look we found a boy who

will marry you but only if you go back to residency so you have to. And then I

spent 20 min telling him I wasn't going back and I understood I wouldn't change

his mind about business school but he also wasn't going to change my mind.

> >

> > And then I talked to my nada. When she realized she wasn't going to change

my mind she said-ok well then you should take out loans (for business school)

and we're going to sell your apt, furniture, and anything you leave in it. And I

said that's fine if she wanted to sell the apt but it would make more sense for

me to just move everything out of it (instead of renting/buying new furniture)

but her only compromise was to move everything back to their home.

> >

> > I don't mean to sound spoiled but the only reason she even wants to sell my

apt is so she can buy another multimillion dollar house. She has several of

these lying around empty so it makes me bitter that she won't sell them to help

finance my education (and I got a massive merit based scholarship so the

remaining tuition isn't even that much). I had a condo near home for medical

school and I asked her if she sold it yet and she said they were keeping it for

when I finally moved home. So they are blowing almost $1000 per month on condo

fees bec they're in denial.

> >

> > I'm so so so mad and I was trying to keep LC until the end of B school

because I feel like after years of torture the least they can do is financially

support me. But I'm starting to wonder if I should suck it up and take out loans

and do NC. I just am so amazed that: 1. they truly don't care about my happiness

2. the only " skill " they seem to have is making me feel like crap about myself.

> >

> > Thanks for listening,

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I, too come from a culture where forceful objectification of women is a big

theme. In my case, it was old-fashioned Catholicism--and of course it manifests

there in very different ways from each unique non-Western country, but it's

amazing how very similar the root-level themes can be. Judith Herman's 'Trauma

and Recovery' does an excellent job of identifying the root-level themes of

captivity and exploitation, finding the same undercurrent in violent

dictatorships, political prisoners, concentration camps, cults, violent

husbands, and families where child abuse is institutionalized in a 'captivity'

theme. Not all children of BPDs encounter this dynamic, but in my case, my

father was a severe and passively violent narcissist who used money as his

weapon, and so I experienced an upbringing 'in captivity', so to speak, with the

pressure on me to 'prove' myself as a woman through financial submission.

Whis is strangely complex when they throw you out into the public sphere,

especially at the professional level. It's an excellent mask for them, and hard

to explain to people that they really hope and expect for you to fail--or, if

you 'succeed', to do it under their wing.

About selling stuff--I want you to know that I hear you fully on excatly how

extreme the situation is. It makes it even harder because we are so

disenfranchised--it looks like we come from 'affluence', how would people

understand? A few months ago, I found myself selling gold jewelry that had been

given to me as a child. It was extremely painful and humiliating. My FOO had

also set it up that if I defied them, I had to lose ALL family support. They

set it up on PURPOSE this way, . They are not expecting that you would

ever have the strength to break free. They think you will be obsessed with the

same materialism as them, and that you could not possibly bear to make

sacrifices or accept 'lesser' goods, and so they can treat you however they

want. They are attempting to exploit greed and pride and fear in you. Don't

let them!

I found that, when you really bite the bullet and do what you KNOW is right in

your heart, angels start crawling out of the woodwork. If you try this, you

will find that too. They will NOT be able to offer you the 'luxury' that nada

and fada have in the past--but they will help you get through.

All that being said, though, I have to say, try not to be too hard on yourself

if it takes a long time for you to put this knowledge into practice. It is

HARD. It is beyond hard. It can take many years to gather up the real

understanding, in your gut, that you HAVE to make the cut. It can take false

attempts. I realized in my mind that a cut was necessary some 2-3 years, before

I realized in my gut that I HAD to. And I also made many misguided and even

dangerous attempts along the way, trying to find easy ways out, trusting the

wrong people. These things can only be done in your own time. But I want to

say that I support you every step of the way, and I pray that you will NOT have

to go through as much as I did. Also, if you have a pet, I would say, but it

health insurance NOW--whatever cusions of any kind you can set up now,

DO--because you can expect every possible unexpected expense to come raining

down upon you the minute you try and break free. It's just how it works.

Best wishes,

Charlie

> > >

> > > I am at my breaking point and am still somehow FLOORED by how crazy nada

is and how she has gotten the entire family to side with her.

> > >

> > > Brief background: I was in residency for general surgery (medicine was

forced on me) and severely disliked it and decided to pursue my real passion-

health policy. My nada and fada went ballistic and have tried to bribe, coerce,

and physically force me to go back to residency. Their entire reason for trying

to make me go back is I'm now " unmarriageable " and I have to go back so that

someone will marry me (and then I can drop out).

> > >

> > > After 5 weeks of NC (nada's choice, I was trying for LC but it pissed her

off so she gave me the silent treatment), nada texted during my medical boards.

I finally called her back today. First my fada picked up and asked me how the

test went so I thought it would be fine. Then he said, look we found a boy who

will marry you but only if you go back to residency so you have to. And then I

spent 20 min telling him I wasn't going back and I understood I wouldn't change

his mind about business school but he also wasn't going to change my mind.

> > >

> > > And then I talked to my nada. When she realized she wasn't going to change

my mind she said-ok well then you should take out loans (for business school)

and we're going to sell your apt, furniture, and anything you leave in it. And I

said that's fine if she wanted to sell the apt but it would make more sense for

me to just move everything out of it (instead of renting/buying new furniture)

but her only compromise was to move everything back to their home.

> > >

> > > I don't mean to sound spoiled but the only reason she even wants to sell

my apt is so she can buy another multimillion dollar house. She has several of

these lying around empty so it makes me bitter that she won't sell them to help

finance my education (and I got a massive merit based scholarship so the

remaining tuition isn't even that much). I had a condo near home for medical

school and I asked her if she sold it yet and she said they were keeping it for

when I finally moved home. So they are blowing almost $1000 per month on condo

fees bec they're in denial.

> > >

> > > I'm so so so mad and I was trying to keep LC until the end of B school

because I feel like after years of torture the least they can do is financially

support me. But I'm starting to wonder if I should suck it up and take out loans

and do NC. I just am so amazed that: 1. they truly don't care about my happiness

2. the only " skill " they seem to have is making me feel like crap about myself.

> > >

> > > Thanks for listening,

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

that is a really beautiful post. I am so sorry that you lost your pet in the

course of all of the breaking free. I am glad you shared your experience that it

can be done.

I agree with what everyone has said, cochanel should take out the loans, this is

destructive to her emotional and mental health. Many hugs.

> >

> > I am at my breaking point and am still somehow FLOORED by how crazy nada is

and how she has gotten the entire family to side with her.

> >

> > Brief background: I was in residency for general surgery (medicine was

forced on me) and severely disliked it and decided to pursue my real passion-

health policy. My nada and fada went ballistic and have tried to bribe, coerce,

and physically force me to go back to residency. Their entire reason for trying

to make me go back is I'm now " unmarriageable " and I have to go back so that

someone will marry me (and then I can drop out).

> >

> > After 5 weeks of NC (nada's choice, I was trying for LC but it pissed her

off so she gave me the silent treatment), nada texted during my medical boards.

I finally called her back today. First my fada picked up and asked me how the

test went so I thought it would be fine. Then he said, look we found a boy who

will marry you but only if you go back to residency so you have to. And then I

spent 20 min telling him I wasn't going back and I understood I wouldn't change

his mind about business school but he also wasn't going to change my mind.

> >

> > And then I talked to my nada. When she realized she wasn't going to change

my mind she said-ok well then you should take out loans (for business school)

and we're going to sell your apt, furniture, and anything you leave in it. And I

said that's fine if she wanted to sell the apt but it would make more sense for

me to just move everything out of it (instead of renting/buying new furniture)

but her only compromise was to move everything back to their home.

> >

> > I don't mean to sound spoiled but the only reason she even wants to sell my

apt is so she can buy another multimillion dollar house. She has several of

these lying around empty so it makes me bitter that she won't sell them to help

finance my education (and I got a massive merit based scholarship so the

remaining tuition isn't even that much). I had a condo near home for medical

school and I asked her if she sold it yet and she said they were keeping it for

when I finally moved home. So they are blowing almost $1000 per month on condo

fees bec they're in denial.

> >

> > I'm so so so mad and I was trying to keep LC until the end of B school

because I feel like after years of torture the least they can do is financially

support me. But I'm starting to wonder if I should suck it up and take out loans

and do NC. I just am so amazed that: 1. they truly don't care about my happiness

2. the only " skill " they seem to have is making me feel like crap about myself.

> >

> > Thanks for listening,

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I totally second what false says. Don't take money because you'll OWE them (in

their minds). Love is conditional for them, and that is part of the insanity.

If you try to keep contact for the sake of the loans, you will lose your freedom

for it. I ended up having to go NC and complete school with grants, scholarship,

and work. I utterly value the experience for the character it grew in me.

Tina

>

> Take out the loans.  Money from Nada always comes with strings attached.

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Sent: Mon, July 5, 2010 1:47:02 AM

> Subject: Am at my breaking point- please help!

>

>  

> I am at my breaking point and am still somehow FLOORED by how crazy nada is

and how she has gotten the entire family to side with her.

>

> Brief background: I was in residency for general surgery (medicine was forced

on me) and severely disliked it and decided to pursue my real passion- health

policy. My nada and fada went ballistic and have tried to bribe, coerce, and

physically force me to go back to residency. Their entire reason for trying to

make me go back is I'm now " unmarriageable " and I have to go back so that

someone will marry me (and then I can drop out).

>

> After 5 weeks of NC (nada's choice, I was trying for LC but it pissed her off

so she gave me the silent treatment), nada texted during my medical boards. I

finally called her back today. First my fada picked up and asked me how the test

went so I thought it would be fine. Then he said, look we found a boy who will

marry you but only if you go back to residency so you have to. And then I spent

20 min telling him I wasn't going back and I understood I wouldn't change his

mind about business school but he also wasn't going to change my mind.

>

> And then I talked to my nada. When she realized she wasn't going to change my

mind she said-ok well then you should take out loans (for business school) and

we're going to sell your apt, furniture, and anything you leave in it. And I

said that's fine if she wanted to sell the apt but it would make more sense for

me to just move everything out of it (instead of renting/buying new furniture)

but her only compromise was to move everything back to their home.

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> I don't mean to sound spoiled but the only reason she even wants to sell my

apt is so she can buy another multimillion dollar house. She has several of

these lying around empty so it makes me bitter that she won't sell them to help

finance my education (and I got a massive merit based scholarship so the

remaining tuition isn't even that much). I had a condo near home for medical

school and I asked her if she sold it yet and she said they were keeping it for

when I finally moved home. So they are blowing almost $1000 per month on condo

fees bec they're in denial.

>

> I'm so so so mad and I was trying to keep LC until the end of B school because

I feel like after years of torture the least they can do is financially support

me. But I'm starting to wonder if I should suck it up and take out loans and do

NC. I just am so amazed that: 1. they truly don't care about my happiness 2. the

only " skill " they seem to have is making me feel like crap about myself.

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> Thanks for listening,

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