Re: Re: so and so is going to die if you do/say that

[Guest guest]

my nada didnt do this, generally, but I once made home made lasagna ( 1984)

and it was a little salty. My father claims to have been getting over a

cold, and he ended up with breathing problems so we called the rescue squad

and they took him to the hospital. He had congestive heart failure but

didnt know it and was having a hard time breathing. Nada continues to

recall this as the time I tried to kill my father !!

Jackie

My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me

vacuum the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table,

she would come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again. What

are you trying to do - kill me? "

One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood,

enjoy the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What? Are

you going to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. "

LOL

[Guest guest]

Wow. That's crazy. One time my mom wasn't feeling well and I decided to make

dinner. I made a can of beans that she claimed made her sick. She then claimed

she probably had botulism and I had just opened a can that was expired. I was

about 12.

Re: Re: " so and so is going to die if you do/say

that "

my nada didnt do this, generally, but I once made home made lasagna ( 1984)

and it was a little salty. My father claims to have been getting over a

cold, and he ended up with breathing problems so we called the rescue squad

and they took him to the hospital. He had congestive heart failure but

didnt know it and was having a hard time breathing. Nada continues to

recall this as the time I tried to kill my father !!

Jackie

My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me

vacuum the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table,

she would come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again. What

are you trying to do - kill me? "

One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood,

enjoy the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What? Are

you going to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. "

LOL

[Guest guest]

LOL yes, I do!!

My mom would get real dramatic about things too. Like, if she had to do

something for me and she really didn't want to (like take me to the doctor

because I was sick), she would always have a " near miss " car accident that

nearly killed her because of me. And she used real dramatic words like,

horrible, cruel, " it was just a nightmare " or the " worst day of my life. "

It was hard to know when something really was horrible because she was so

over-the-top dramatic.

I used to say, " oh my God, can you be any more dramatic? " Then I would get

accused of not caring whether or not she lived or died.

Ugh.

It's impossible not to just give up trying.

Re: " so and so is going to die if you do/say that "

My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me vacuum

the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table, she would

come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again. What are you trying

to do - kill me? "

One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood, enjoy

the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What? Are you going

to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. " LOL

>

> did anyone ever get this? I got it ALL the time growing up. My doing or saying

something might cause someone to have a heart attack and die. Or since I just

did or said that how would I feel if so and so had a heart attack and died

tomorrow. Once my brother smarted off to me and I defended myself and my mother

said something like " how can you talk to him that way, how would you feel if we

got into a war tomorrow and he got drafted and had to go off to war and got

killed? how would you feel then? " . I don't even think he was draft age...that

particular incident stands out because when she said 'how can you talk to him

that way' my brother said, 'I was being sarcastic to her' because I guess her

bias embarassed even him for once and he admitted to being in the wrong. that

was the only time he copped to it though she was always biased about him in this

way.

>

> I think this warped me because I became afraid to stand up for myself or 'talk

back' or defend myself. I can't get my breath and I stutter. I physically shake.

I mean it really affected me in terms of having the ability to speak out when I

am wronged or mistreated by someone. it's like I hyperventilate, I think my

child mind still thinks I have the power to kill them or something.

>

[Guest guest]

I was so guilt ridden thinking I caused my father congestive heart

condition..I guess this would go under the teasing thread since this has

been brought up time and time again !! I KNOW a salty meal does not cause

congestive heart failure ( but sure causes problems when you have it + high

blood pressure !!) but I think it's mean for nada to continue to remind me

of this episode...

Your nada doesn't sound any better than mine !!the guilt you must have had

for " making your mother ill " man, they sure do a number on us, huh ??

Jackie

Wow. That's crazy. One time my mom wasn't feeling well and I decided to make

dinner. I made a can of beans that she claimed made her sick. She then

claimed she probably had botulism and I had just opened a can that was

expired. I was about 12.