Re: Sex and BPD; the science of BPD

[Guest guest]

my nada is and always was a prude...I have trouble even thinking of her

ever having sex, but she had to do it at least 5 times since there were 5

kids and no twins/triplets LOL. I think with the various " types " of BPD (

waif, hermit, witch etc) that may have something to do with it..but I just

cant see how my nada, a witch/queen could possibly be a good lover !!

Jackie

In the past week, there have been two articles about borderline personality

disorder in the media. One focuses on BPD and sexuality; the other on the

science of BPD.

1. Are people with BPD better lovers? In " The Daily Beast, " Piccalo

writes about the mental illness that can lead to " wild sex " (at least in the

beginning of the relationship). This intense sexuality can fill what's empty

in the lives of those who get involved in BPD relationships.

2. Also, Molly Knight Raskin discusses the science of BPD in " Scientific

American Mind. " Raskin says that the more audacious symptoms of BPD--such as

angry outbursts or experiments with self-harm--used to be seen as willful

efforts to manipulate others or attract attention. But in recent years

biologists have been looking deeper at the psychological and neurological

causes of BPD and have sketched a radically different picture of the

ailment.

See my blog at Psychology Today (subscribe while you're there!). Go here and

scroll down: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells

Randi Kreger

Randi @BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

>

> my nada is and always was a prude...I have trouble even thinking of her

> ever having sex, >

> Jackie

>

>

This is exactly right, Jackie! I'm sorry, but why would any of us on the list

want to think about bpd sex-lives? Our bpds were parents, many of whom sexually

abused us. This link was a ptsd trigger for me--the idea of it has been giving

me intrusions for the past several minutes.

--Charlie

>

>

> In the past week, there have been two articles about borderline personality

> disorder in the media. One focuses on BPD and sexuality; the other on the

> science of BPD.

>

>

>

> 1. Are people with BPD better lovers? In " The Daily Beast, " Piccalo

> writes about the mental illness that can lead to " wild sex " (at least in the

> beginning of the relationship). This intense sexuality can fill what's empty

> in the lives of those who get involved in BPD relationships.

>

>

>

> 2. Also, Molly Knight Raskin discusses the science of BPD in " Scientific

> American Mind. " Raskin says that the more audacious symptoms of BPD--such as

> angry outbursts or experiments with self-harm--used to be seen as willful

> efforts to manipulate others or attract attention. But in recent years

> biologists have been looking deeper at the psychological and neurological

> causes of BPD and have sketched a radically different picture of the

> ailment.

>

> See my blog at Psychology Today (subscribe while you're there!). Go here and

> scroll down: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells

>

>

>

> Randi Kreger

>

> Randi @BPDCentral.com

>

[Guest guest]

I wish my nada was a prude. I've been hearing about her sex life and/or lack of

it since I was a child. My husband heard about it while we were dating. And

we're still hearing about it even though my Dad has been dead for almost 2

years. She seems obsessed with sexual matters, whether her own, others (asked me

if I knew what gays did) and is always complaining that men are just out to get

into her pants. Yeah, sure. She's 81, shriveled up and smells bad.

>

> my nada is and always was a prude...I have trouble even thinking of her

> ever having sex, but she had to do it at least 5 times since there were 5

> kids and no twins/triplets LOL. I think with the various " types " of BPD (

> waif, hermit, witch etc) that may have something to do with it..but I just

> cant see how my nada, a witch/queen could possibly be a good lover !!

>

> Jackie

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Randi

I read both articles. Very interesting stuff.

Sexual issues with BP s obviously stir up some emotions here. In fact,

I v probably moved from chapter to an entire section about BP parents

and sexuality for my book.

It seems they are obsessessed with the subject. Of course, in that they

do not recognize bounderies, of course they will violate them in areas

of obsession. It makes a sort of sense in the Oz world, however. BP s

have emotional regualtion issues. They often feel empty and non

existant. They react too strongly and intensely to what should be minor

stimuli. They are desperately afraid of being alone or abandoned, yet

thier mental issues drive people away from them.

So, how does all this play out? In the strongest felt emotions, anger

and sexual arousal, they overreact. Thus their rages. In sexuality,

they move rapidly to a sexual relationship with inappropriate partners.

They are so obsessed with the strong feelings attached to sexuality that

they often and quite inappropriately discuss such issues with strangers,

their children. Ignoring bounderies, and not being cognizant of how

thier words or actions affect others, they put their sexual issues and

discussions out where it becomes an issue for others, especially KOs.

Many of us have noted the inappriateness of our nadas in matters sexual.

The very intense sexual relationships would correlate to their far to

rapid formation of romantic relationships and the subsequent fallout.

That it is in the forefront of thier thinking ties in with a lot of the

other areas in which they make us supremely uncomfortable.

Interesting article.

Interesting aside, was discussing a BP with a friend the other day. In

the course of conversation he said, Well, have you ever read SWOE?

Smile. That required either a very short answer or a very long one.

The word is getting out there.

Doug

>

> In the past week, there have been two articles about borderline

personality

> disorder in the media. One focuses on BPD and sexuality; the other on

the

> science of BPD.

>

>

>

> 1. Are people with BPD better lovers? In " The Daily Beast, "

Piccalo

> writes about the mental illness that can lead to " wild sex " (at least

in the

> beginning of the relationship). This intense sexuality can fill what's

empty

> in the lives of those who get involved in BPD relationships.

>

>

>

> 2. Also, Molly Knight Raskin discusses the science of BPD in

" Scientific

> American Mind. " Raskin says that the more audacious symptoms of

BPD--such as

> angry outbursts or experiments with self-harm--used to be seen as

willful

> efforts to manipulate others or attract attention. But in recent years

> biologists have been looking deeper at the psychological and

neurological

> causes of BPD and have sketched a radically different picture of the

> ailment.

>

> See my blog at Psychology Today (subscribe while you're there!). Go

here and

> scroll down:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells

>

>

>

> Randi Kreger

>

> Randi @BPDCentral.com

>

> Author, " The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality

Disorder: New

> Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells "

>

> Available at www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

This too, hits close to home for me. My nada couldn't wait to divulge everything

(and I mean EVERYTHING) to me about her various sexual experiences. Stuff that

was way too inappropriate to be telling her 10 year old daughter. Stuff that I

could've gone the rest of my life not knowing about my dad. She did this clean

up to the very day I broke contact, but then it was about the lack of a sex

life. Do they ever quit? Wait, stupid question

> >

> > my nada is and always was a prude...I have trouble even thinking of her

> > ever having sex, but she had to do it at least 5 times since there were 5

> > kids and no twins/triplets LOL. I think with the various " types " of BPD (

> > waif, hermit, witch etc) that may have something to do with it..but I just

> > cant see how my nada, a witch/queen could possibly be a good lover !!

> >

> > Jackie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Has anyone ever had their nada make accusations of sexual abuse by a close

friend or family member? I don't want to question the validty of her

accusations, but as a child/teenager she often would tell me that male figures

in my life were " Too close " to me and make similar accusations of them when

nothing was going on. I was never allowed to be alone with male cousins or

uncles and she would always make me somewhat ashamed of my sexuality. I just

wonder what really happened...is that horrible?

AJ

> >

> > In the past week, there have been two articles about borderline

> personality

> > disorder in the media. One focuses on BPD and sexuality; the other on

> the

> > science of BPD.

> >

> >

> >

> > 1. Are people with BPD better lovers? In " The Daily Beast, "

> Piccalo

> > writes about the mental illness that can lead to " wild sex " (at least

> in the

> > beginning of the relationship). This intense sexuality can fill what's

> empty

> > in the lives of those who get involved in BPD relationships.

> >

> >

> >

> > 2. Also, Molly Knight Raskin discusses the science of BPD in

> " Scientific

> > American Mind. " Raskin says that the more audacious symptoms of

> BPD--such as

> > angry outbursts or experiments with self-harm--used to be seen as

> willful

> > efforts to manipulate others or attract attention. But in recent years

> > biologists have been looking deeper at the psychological and

> neurological

> > causes of BPD and have sketched a radically different picture of the

> > ailment.

> >

> > See my blog at Psychology Today (subscribe while you're there!). Go

> here and

> > scroll down:

> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells

> >

> >

> >

> > Randi Kreger

> >

> > Randi @BPDCentral.com

> >

> > Author, " The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality

> Disorder: New

> > Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells "

> >

> > Available at www.BPDCentral.com

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

My mother told me my father was impotent when I was about 10. She also divulged

various things that happened to her as a child.

My father was a police officer, so I already heard the bad things about

life...rapes, murders, break-ins, robberies. My life was pretty confusing.

Re: Sex and BPD; the science of BPD

This too, hits close to home for me. My nada couldn't wait to divulge everything

(and I mean EVERYTHING) to me about her various sexual experiences. Stuff that

was way too inappropriate to be telling her 10 year old daughter. Stuff that I

could've gone the rest of my life not knowing about my dad. She did this clean

up to the very day I broke contact, but then it was about the lack of a sex

life. Do they ever quit? Wait, stupid question

> >

> > my nada is and always was a prude...I have trouble even thinking of her

> > ever having sex, but she had to do it at least 5 times since there were 5

> > kids and no twins/triplets LOL. I think with the various " types " of BPD (

> > waif, hermit, witch etc) that may have something to do with it..but I just

> > cant see how my nada, a witch/queen could possibly be a good lover !!

> >

> > Jackie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

interesting, my nada told me my father was impotent as well, but at least I

was in the 9th grade !!

Jackie

My mother told me my father was impotent when I was about 10. She also

divulged various things that happened to her as a child.

My father was a police officer, so I already heard the bad things about

life...rapes, murders, break-ins, robberies. My life was pretty confusing.

[Guest guest]

My nada didn't say my father was impotent but did say there was no sexual

contact of any kind after about 25 years of marriage (which was 55 years of

marriage when nada died). My thought was wow, I wouldn't want to have sex with

her if I were my dad. Perhaps our fathers found a way to have some control over

their lives with these terrible women. The nadas called it " impotence " because

they'd never admit (or belive for that matter) that they were to blame.

Flowers in Oz

-----Original Message-----

>>interesting, my nada told me my father was impotent as well, but at least I

>was in the 9th grade !!

>

>Jackie

>

>>

>My mother told me my father was impotent when I was about 10. She also

>divulged various things that happened to her as a child.

>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>------------------------------------

>

>Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @....

SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

>

>To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL

() for your copy. We also refer to �Understanding the Borderline

Mother� (Lawson) and �Surviving the Borderline Parent,� (Roth) which you

can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

>

>From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE and

the SWOE Workbook.

[Guest guest]

LOL excatly !! my husband thinks nada probably caused my fathers

impotence...she was always belittling him, insulting him, yelling at him,

cant blame him for noting wanting to be intimate with someone like that !!

Jackie

My nada didn't say my father was impotent but did say there was no sexual

contact of any kind after about 25 years of marriage (which was 55 years of

marriage when nada died). My thought was wow, I wouldn't want to have sex

with her if I were my dad. Perhaps our fathers found a way to have some

control over their lives with these terrible women. The nadas called it

" impotence " because they'd never admit (or belive for that matter) that they

were to blame.

Flowers in Oz

[Guest guest]

Wow! This thread has unlocked something in my mind. I thought my

mother didn't display any hypersexual behavior or tell me

inappropriate things regarding sex until I read this. A lightbulb went

off!

She did - she told me that dad was impotent, they had no sex life, all

about what they did for her to get pregnant, regarding sex,

temperatures, ovulating and doing the deed when they didn't feel like

it, and having a sexless marriage late in life. Waaaayyyyy too much

information.

Apparently I had completely blocked this out.

Just reading this forum is like therapy for me because of the way it

triggers memories.

Em

Sent from my blueberry.

On Jul 11, 2010, at 9:39 PM, Flowers

wrote:

> My nada didn't say my father was impotent but did say there was no

> sexual contact of any kind after about 25 years of marriage (which

> was 55 years of marriage when nada died). My thought was wow, I

> wouldn't want to have sex with her if I were my dad. Perhaps our

> fathers found a way to have some control over their lives with these

> terrible women. The nadas called it " impotence " because they'd never

> admit (or belive for that matter) that they were to blame.

>

> Flowers in Oz

>

> -----Original Message-----

> >>interesting, my nada told me my father was impotent as well, but

> at least I

> >was in the 9th grade !!

> >

> >Jackie

> >

> >>

> >My mother told me my father was impotent when I was about 10. She

> also

> >divulged various things that happened to her as a child.

> >

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >------------------------------------

> >

> >Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @...

> . SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

> >

> >To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-

> SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to �Understanding

> the Borderline Mother� (Lawson) and �Surviving the Borderline

> Parent,� (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the

> WTO community!

> >

> >From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and

> author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.