Re: Frontal Lobotomy

[Guest guest]

I too after reading Bev's letter last night was angry and upset about it but

decided to wait til the morning to respond as I needed the time to calm down

and let it all sink in. I laid awake for quite along time last night fighting

the desire to get up and write a repsonse but my anger and jealousy were so

out of control that I decided it best to wait and there is the point, I dont

think that anyone here is angry at Bev for her so called success(Idont think

that worrying over whether you are eating enuf is sucess either) but I do

think maybe some of us are angry at ourselves for not having the " frontal

lobotomy " that Bev seems to have had and we didnt. I am insanely jealous that

she has " a truce with food " and I do not. I have NEVER and doubt that I will

ever be happy with a few spoonfuls of cottage cheese and my god Momala, I

couldnt stop laughing to your reference to coming out of a coma to eat

because I feel the same, there is nothing that stops me from eating these

days. I eat every half hour or hour , hungry, not hungry, angry, happy

WHATEVER!!!!!!! And please dont tell me to go buy Geneen Roth's book or the

" Secret " book, for god's sake, if I had been able to follow those kinds of

things before surgery I wouldnt have needed the surgery in the first

place!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and by the way as if it couldnt get worse, I had to

have this surgery done TWICE!!!!!!!

I have " stuffed " my feelings down for way too long and am hoping that I can

speak out loud here on this list to try and deal with all of these issues

with other people that can relate and so to speak in anger or jealousy is not

such a bad thing, for someone like me I need this forum to say those things

and not eat over them, I have never felt safe or had a safe place to do that

in, hence thats how I got to 300 pds in the first place!!! I feel better

already writing this as the first thing I wanted to do this morning was eat

but instead came here to write.

Please understand that I am happy for Bev and the place that she is at, I

think the others that wrote to her are also in their own way , maybe its just

hard to hear those kind of things when you are struggling so much as I am and

obviously as Momala and Gettinthin are. We have all posted a few times as to

our struggles and so we are no strangers to this board. I hope that my

opinions will be accepted and tolerated, regardless of their tone or the

feelings behind them, I dont think anyone wants to personally attack anyone

and I in rereading Momala's post and my own right now again realize that they

are just expressing disappointment and jealousy. Bev, I would trade places

with you in a heartbeat, guess me and Mr Breakstone dont get along that well

either!!!!!

Thanks for listening,

Cindee

VBG 1992/Revision to RNy 1997

Dr Norman s Ft Luaderdale, Fla

[Guest guest]

CINDEE~

WELL PUT! I'M WITH YA!!!

[Guest guest]

Cindee, Amen for saying that about the " secrets " book. I kick my self for

buying that book, when it is the same crap we already know, just can't " do " .

I have to say that my desire for sweets and candy bars etc. is gone for now,

but most say that will be back eventually. I tend to graze all day, and

sometimes I swear I am eating way too much, but when you look back it is so

different than before surgery. Hang in there, I can relate to everything you

said... Jan C. 3-11-98 RNY 220 start 158now

Re: Frontal Lobotomy

>From: AntCindee@...

>

>I too after reading Bev's letter last night was angry and upset about it

but

>decided to wait til the morning to respond as I needed the time to calm

down

>and let it all sink in. I laid awake for quite along time last night

fighting

>the desire to get up and write a repsonse but my anger and jealousy were so

>out of control that I decided it best to wait and there is the point, I

dont

>think that anyone here is angry at Bev for her so called success(Idont

think

>that worrying over whether you are eating enuf is sucess either) but I do

>think maybe some of us are angry at ourselves for not having the " frontal

>lobotomy " that Bev seems to have had and we didnt. I am insanely jealous

that

>she has " a truce with food " and I do not. I have NEVER and doubt that I

will

>ever be happy with a few spoonfuls of cottage cheese and my god Momala, I

>couldnt stop laughing to your reference to coming out of a coma to eat

>because I feel the same, there is nothing that stops me from eating these

>days. I eat every half hour or hour , hungry, not hungry, angry, happy

>WHATEVER!!!!!!! And please dont tell me to go buy Geneen Roth's book or the

> " Secret " book, for god's sake, if I had been able to follow those kinds of

>things before surgery I wouldnt have needed the surgery in the first

>place!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and by the way as if it couldnt get worse, I had to

>have this surgery done TWICE!!!!!!!

>I have " stuffed " my feelings down for way too long and am hoping that I can

>speak out loud here on this list to try and deal with all of these issues

>with other people that can relate and so to speak in anger or jealousy is

not

>such a bad thing, for someone like me I need this forum to say those things

>and not eat over them, I have never felt safe or had a safe place to do

that

>in, hence thats how I got to 300 pds in the first place!!! I feel better

>already writing this as the first thing I wanted to do this morning was eat

>but instead came here to write.

>Please understand that I am happy for Bev and the place that she is at, I

>think the others that wrote to her are also in their own way , maybe its

just

>hard to hear those kind of things when you are struggling so much as I am

and

>obviously as Momala and Gettinthin are. We have all posted a few times as

to

>our struggles and so we are no strangers to this board. I hope that my

>opinions will be accepted and tolerated, regardless of their tone or the

>feelings behind them, I dont think anyone wants to personally attack anyone

>and I in rereading Momala's post and my own right now again realize that

they

>are just expressing disappointment and jealousy. Bev, I would trade places

>with you in a heartbeat, guess me and Mr Breakstone dont get along that

well

>either!!!!!

>Thanks for listening,

>Cindee

>VBG 1992/Revision to RNy 1997

>Dr Norman s Ft Luaderdale, Fla

>

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Cindee:

I appreciate your post and where you are coming from. I certainly don't

have a truce with food, and can say with almost the same certainty as death

and taxes that I won't. This is a place where you can share your feelings

all you want to share about your own experience. The tone of your letter

reflects your feelings very well without going overboard. But let's see if

I can make two points without sounding like a school teacher. (BTW, these

are general and not directed specifically at you, we're just on this

thread.)

We can express our feelings without anything that appears as an " attack " on

another person or even slightly resembles a flame war. This isn't a place

to criticize other people, no matter how we feel about them. It just ain't

the place. Take it private, take what you need and leave the rest, but

anything that looks like a flame or attack just isn't appropriate. We CAN

still express OUR feelings about OURSELVES and OUR struggles OR OUR

successes without fear of being labeled as either pompous our not working

hard enough or any negative label. We've all had enough of that, I bet.

Secondly, this person with this experience may really be having this

experience now. She may not have it next week. She may have it the rest of

her life. Whether she does or doesn't isn't going to change our lives.

We're our own personal experience. We just don't need to compare.

Anyway, I guess feelings of over the top success should be as welcome as

feelings of over the top failure. It's the only fair way to go, IMHO.

Hope this is received in the spirit in which it was intended. I'm crossing

my fingers!

Bandas

Austin, TX

RNY 4-28-98, Dr. Selinkoff, San , TX

Then: 305 Now: 180

Gone: 112.5 pounds in 12 months

Gone: 120.0 pounds in 13 months (-7.5 month 13)

Gone: 123.0 pounds in 14 months (-3.0 month 14)

Gone: 125.0 pounds in 15 months (-2.0 month 15)

Re: Frontal Lobotomy

> From: AntCindee@...

>

> I too after reading Bev's letter last night was angry and upset about it

but

> decided to wait til the morning to respond as I needed the time to calm

down

> and let it all sink in. I laid awake for quite along time last night

fighting

> the desire to get up and write a repsonse but my anger and jealousy were

so

> out of control that I decided it best to wait and there is the point, I

dont

> think that anyone here is angry at Bev for her so called success(Idont

think

> that worrying over whether you are eating enuf is sucess either) but I do

> think maybe some of us are angry at ourselves for not having the " frontal

> lobotomy " that Bev seems to have had and we didnt. I am insanely jealous

that

> she has " a truce with food " and I do not. I have NEVER and doubt that I

will

> ever be happy with a few spoonfuls of cottage cheese and my god Momala, I

> couldnt stop laughing to your reference to coming out of a coma to eat

> because I feel the same, there is nothing that stops me from eating these

> days. I eat every half hour or hour , hungry, not hungry, angry, happy

> WHATEVER!!!!!!! And please dont tell me to go buy Geneen Roth's book or

the

> " Secret " book, for god's sake, if I had been able to follow those kinds of

> things before surgery I wouldnt have needed the surgery in the first

> place!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and by the way as if it couldnt get worse, I had to

> have this surgery done TWICE!!!!!!!

> I have " stuffed " my feelings down for way too long and am hoping that I

can

> speak out loud here on this list to try and deal with all of these issues

> with other people that can relate and so to speak in anger or jealousy is

not

> such a bad thing, for someone like me I need this forum to say those

things

> and not eat over them, I have never felt safe or had a safe place to do

that

> in, hence thats how I got to 300 pds in the first place!!! I feel better

> already writing this as the first thing I wanted to do this morning was

eat

> but instead came here to write.

> Please understand that I am happy for Bev and the place that she is at, I

> think the others that wrote to her are also in their own way , maybe its

just

> hard to hear those kind of things when you are struggling so much as I am

and

> obviously as Momala and Gettinthin are. We have all posted a few times as

to

> our struggles and so we are no strangers to this board. I hope that my

> opinions will be accepted and tolerated, regardless of their tone or the

> feelings behind them, I dont think anyone wants to personally attack

anyone

> and I in rereading Momala's post and my own right now again realize that

they

> are just expressing disappointment and jealousy. Bev, I would trade places

> with you in a heartbeat, guess me and Mr Breakstone dont get along that

well

> either!!!!!

> Thanks for listening,

> Cindee

> VBG 1992/Revision to RNy 1997

> Dr Norman s Ft Luaderdale, Fla

>

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

PS

Cindee:

Amen to the stuff about the books, as far as I'm concerned. The same goes

for pills, books, shrinks, special formulas, willpower, yada yada yada. All

of those things really push my buttons as I fed the weight loss industry

thousands of dollars and also paid with years of heartache and NO ONE ONCE

MENTIONED THIS SURGERY. With this surgery, they're up front with scientific

percentages of who makes it, who doesn't, how well they make it. Some of us

won't. But do any of the book writers, powder makers, weight loss clinics

ever even HAVE statistics when they blow this smoke up our, well whatevers.

I've obviously got a lot of anger to deal with in this regard.

Okay, deep breath, go admire myself in the mirror, clothed, of course.....

[Guest guest]

Hello All,

You know, I don't even remember what I wrote but isn't there a place in

this group for every person no matter where they are. I'm not the same

as anyone else. I have coped with my problems in my way and I'm not

saying that it is the best way or the only way. On top of that I'm

really worried about forgetting to eat sometimes and I'm sorry talking

about that offended someone. I thought maybe there were people out

there who were struggling with what I was struggling with and that was

what this group was about.

I know how hard everyone of us has struggled with food issues and I'm

sorry if anything I said caused even one of you more problems. I hope

that together we can find our way through the issue and support each

other no matter where we might be on our path.

Hugs and Love to All, Bev