Guest guest Posted July 6, 2010 Report Share Posted July 6, 2010 I remember a little over a year ago, I was always thinking how my fada and enabling mom had mistreated me. So much to the point I was sick of thinking about it, depressed, and yearning to let go and move on. It's been a year of therapy, and I now no longer always think about it. I still grieve and am sad when I see how something triggers me and puts me back in that depressed state. I'm LC with him. Less than once every two months. It's a relief not to have to deal with him. For the longest time, I used to think of my fada as one of those loud violent primates on the nature channels. His words didn't make sense. That they happened to be comprehensible was just happenstance. There was no content, rather their only function was to emotionally manipulate. If he is really sick (i.e. BPD), then eventually, I can come to accept his treatment of me was not deserved. I spent a lot of time trying to understand his background, how BPD works, etc... In fact, I think that in some societies, BPD is actually an evolutionary advantage. Based on the stories, I see how he turned out BPD. Now I try to think of him as a porcupine that (accidentally) injures others who get to close, just because that's the way nature has made him. I sometimes think he really has no control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 I like the porcupine analogy. In my case I have a nada and an enabling father, and it still makes me very sad and depressed knowing that he allowed her to mistreat himself, my brother and esp. me. His father actually did the same thing to him and his siblings. Funny how patterns are repeated. I just started therapy again after many years without it. I feel like I'll never get to where I want to be. Hang in there. I know I have a long road ahead of me. > > I remember a little over a year ago, I was always thinking how my fada and enabling mom had mistreated me. So much to the point I was sick of thinking about it, depressed, and yearning to let go and move on. > > It's been a year of therapy, and I now no longer always think about it. I still grieve and am sad when I see how something triggers me and puts me back in that depressed state. I'm LC with him. Less than once every two months. It's a relief not to have to deal with him. > > For the longest time, I used to think of my fada as one of those loud violent primates on the nature channels. His words didn't make sense. That they happened to be comprehensible was just happenstance. There was no content, rather their only function was to emotionally manipulate. > > If he is really sick (i.e. BPD), then eventually, I can come to accept his treatment of me was not deserved. I spent a lot of time trying to understand his background, how BPD works, etc... In fact, I think that in some societies, BPD is actually an evolutionary advantage. Based on the stories, I see how he turned out BPD. > > Now I try to think of him as a porcupine that (accidentally) injures others who get to close, just because that's the way nature has made him. I sometimes think he really has no control. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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