Re: so and so is going to die if you do/say that

[Guest guest]

My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me vacuum

the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table, she would

come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again. What are you trying

to do - kill me? "

One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood, enjoy

the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What? Are you going

to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. " LOL

>

> did anyone ever get this? I got it ALL the time growing up. My doing or saying

something might cause someone to have a heart attack and die. Or since I just

did or said that how would I feel if so and so had a heart attack and died

tomorrow. Once my brother smarted off to me and I defended myself and my mother

said something like " how can you talk to him that way, how would you feel if we

got into a war tomorrow and he got drafted and had to go off to war and got

killed? how would you feel then? " . I don't even think he was draft age...that

particular incident stands out because when she said 'how can you talk to him

that way' my brother said, 'I was being sarcastic to her' because I guess her

bias embarassed even him for once and he admitted to being in the wrong. that

was the only time he copped to it though she was always biased about him in this

way.

>

> I think this warped me because I became afraid to stand up for myself or 'talk

back' or defend myself. I can't get my breath and I stutter. I physically shake.

I mean it really affected me in terms of having the ability to speak out when I

am wronged or mistreated by someone. it's like I hyperventilate, I think my

child mind still thinks I have the power to kill them or something.

>

[Guest guest]

honey, if that can had botulism, it would have EXPLODED when the can

opener pierced it.

Deanna

>

>

> Wow. That's crazy. One time my mom wasn't feeling well and I decided to make

dinner. I made a can of beans that she claimed made her sick. She then claimed

she probably had botulism and I had just opened a can that was expired. I was

about 12.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Re: Re: " so and so is going to die if you do/say

that "

>

>

>

>

> my nada didnt do this, generally, but I once made home made lasagna ( 1984)

> and it was a little salty. My father claims to have been getting over a

> cold, and he ended up with breathing problems so we called the rescue squad

> and they took him to the hospital. He had congestive heart failure but

> didnt know it and was having a hard time breathing. Nada continues to

> recall this as the time I tried to kill my father !!

>

> Jackie

>

> My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me

> vacuum the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table,

> she would come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again. What

> are you trying to do - kill me? "

>

> One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood,

> enjoy the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What? Are

> you going to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

>

> Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. "

> LOL

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thats good to know. I freaked out about it and ran over to my grandmother's

house next door in tears. My mother did nothing to in any way comfort me or

assure me she was okay. She laid onthe couch for 2 days claiming she was

nauseated and 'waiting' to die apparently.

Re: Re: " so and so is going to die if you do/say

that "

>

>

>

>

> my nada didnt do this, generally, but I once made home made lasagna ( 1984)

> and it was a little salty. My father claims to have been getting over a

> cold, and he ended up with breathing problems so we called the rescue squad

> and they took him to the hospital. He had congestive heart failure but

> didnt know it and was having a hard time breathing. Nada continues to

> recall this as the time I tried to kill my father !!

>

> Jackie

>

> My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me

> vacuum the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table,

> she would come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again. What

> are you trying to do - kill me? "

>

> One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood,

> enjoy the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What? Are

> you going to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

>

> Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. "

> LOL

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I opened a can like that once, and there is no mistaking it - it exploded

all over my face and the wall!

Deanna

> >

> >

> > Wow. That's crazy. One time my mom wasn't feeling well and I decided to make

dinner. I made a can of beans that she claimed made her sick. She then claimed

she probably had botulism and I had just opened a can that was expired. I was

about 12.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Re: Re: " so and so is going to die if you

do/say that "

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > my nada didnt do this, generally, but I once made home made lasagna ( 1984)

> > and it was a little salty. My father claims to have been getting over a

> > cold, and he ended up with breathing problems so we called the rescue squad

> > and they took him to the hospital. He had congestive heart failure but

> > didnt know it and was having a hard time breathing. Nada continues to

> > recall this as the time I tried to kill my father !!

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> > My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me

> > vacuum the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table,

> > she would come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again. What

> > are you trying to do - kill me? "

> >

> > One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood,

> > enjoy the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What? Are

> > you going to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

> >

> > Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. "

> > LOL

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Wow. I hope it didn't make you sick. That's scary.

Re: Re: " so and so is going to die if you

do/say that "

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > my nada didnt do this, generally, but I once made home made lasagna ( 1984)

> > and it was a little salty. My father claims to have been getting over a

> > cold, and he ended up with breathing problems so we called the rescue squad

> > and they took him to the hospital. He had congestive heart failure but

> > didnt know it and was having a hard time breathing. Nada continues to

> > recall this as the time I tried to kill my father !!

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> > My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me

> > vacuum the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table,

> > she would come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again. What

> > are you trying to do - kill me? "

> >

> > One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood,

> > enjoy the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What? Are

> > you going to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

> >

> > Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. "

> > LOL

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

ha, well, i had enough sense not to eat it so i was fine!

thx,

deanna

> > >

> > >

> > > Wow. That's crazy. One time my mom wasn't feeling well and I decided to

make dinner. I made a can of beans that she claimed made her sick. She then

claimed she probably had botulism and I had just opened a can that was expired.

I was about 12.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Re: Re: " so and so is going to die if you

do/say that "

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > my nada didnt do this, generally, but I once made home made lasagna (

1984)

> > > and it was a little salty. My father claims to have been getting over a

> > > cold, and he ended up with breathing problems so we called the rescue

squad

> > > and they took him to the hospital. He had congestive heart failure but

> > > didnt know it and was having a hard time breathing. Nada continues to

> > > recall this as the time I tried to kill my father !!

> > >

> > > Jackie

> > >

> > > My Mom always claimed that I was trying to kill her. She would have me

> > > vacuum the house. If I missed a piece of lint under the dining room table,

> > > she would come unglued and say, " Now I have to do this all over again.

What

> > > are you trying to do - kill me? "

> > >

> > > One time I thought we could go for a nice walk around the neighborhood,

> > > enjoy the pretty weather. We didn't get far before she got angry, " What?

Are

> > > you going to walk forever? Are you trying to kill me? "

> > >

> > > Don't you ever wish we had the courage to say " Yeah, it crossed my mind. "

> > > LOL

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

what a cruel thing to do to you !!

Jackie

Thats good to know. I freaked out about it and ran over to my grandmother's

house next door in tears. My mother did nothing to in any way comfort me or

assure me she was okay. She laid onthe couch for 2 days claiming she was

nauseated and 'waiting' to die apparently.

[Guest guest]

OMG this was the BANE of my existence growing up. Nada would say she was going

to kill herself whenever I did anything she didn't want me to do- like go to the

movies or out to dinner with my friends. Starting in high school, she actually

did " try " several times. She would catch me talking on the phone with my bf and

she would throw back a bunch of sleeping pills, or I would try to leave the

house for a tennis tournament and same thing. I'd guess almost once a week

during my senior year was spent sitting next to her bed and listening to her

breathing to see if she would wake up. To be honest, I'm not sure what outcome I

was hoping for. Certainly scared me sh*tless though (ps, dishrag fada prescribed

her these pills, which she are still addicted to, 10 yrs later). Most recently

when I left the career she wants me in, my brother told me she would certainly

kill herself if I didn't return. My response was, " fine. It's not my problem,

she is choosing to do that to herself, not me. " He thinks I'm cold and heartless

and is now re-arranging his life to pursue said career to please her.

phine, I also have problems standing up for myself and I never considered if

this was the root of my behavior. Very interesting.

>

> did anyone ever get this? I got it ALL the time growing up. My doing or saying

something might cause someone to have a heart attack and die. Or since I just

did or said that how would I feel if so and so had a heart attack and died

tomorrow. Once my brother smarted off to me and I defended myself and my mother

said something like " how can you talk to him that way, how would you feel if we

got into a war tomorrow and he got drafted and had to go off to war and got

killed? how would you feel then? " . I don't even think he was draft age...that

particular incident stands out because when she said 'how can you talk to him

that way' my brother said, 'I was being sarcastic to her' because I guess her

bias embarassed even him for once and he admitted to being in the wrong. that

was the only time he copped to it though she was always biased about him in this

way.

>

> I think this warped me because I became afraid to stand up for myself or 'talk

back' or defend myself. I can't get my breath and I stutter. I physically shake.

I mean it really affected me in terms of having the ability to speak out when I

am wronged or mistreated by someone. it's like I hyperventilate, I think my

child mind still thinks I have the power to kill them or something.

>

[Guest guest]

, that is so typical of someone with a personality disorder. My mother

threatened suicide when I moved away but I called her bluff and moved

anyway...she was perfectly fine.

To my knowledge, my mother never 'attempted.' Her lame attempts were like

running into a room all dramatic with a gun in her hand in hysterical tears and

then having someone in the family (my dad) run behind her to 'rescue' her, take

the gun away, break the door in. Allll drama....all the time.

There is a Lifetime movie that came on the other day called Her Only Child. I

would recommend anyone with a borderline parent to watch it. It was very much

along these lines and soooo typical.

Re: " so and so is going to die if you do/say that "

OMG this was the BANE of my existence growing up. Nada would say she was going

to kill herself whenever I did anything she didn't want me to do- like go to the

movies or out to dinner with my friends. Starting in high school, she actually

did " try " several times. She would catch me talking on the phone with my bf and

she would throw back a bunch of sleeping pills, or I would try to leave the

house for a tennis tournament and same thing. I'd guess almost once a week

during my senior year was spent sitting next to her bed and listening to her

breathing to see if she would wake up. To be honest, I'm not sure what outcome I

was hoping for. Certainly scared me sh*tless though (ps, dishrag fada prescribed

her these pills, which she are still addicted to, 10 yrs later). Most recently

when I left the career she wants me in, my brother told me she would certainly

kill herself if I didn't return. My response was, " fine. It's not my problem,

she is choosing to do that to herself, not me. " He thinks I'm cold and heartless

and is now re-arranging his life to pursue said career to please her.

phine, I also have problems standing up for myself and I never considered if

this was the root of my behavior. Very interesting.

>

> did anyone ever get this? I got it ALL the time growing up. My doing or saying

something might cause someone to have a heart attack and die. Or since I just

did or said that how would I feel if so and so had a heart attack and died

tomorrow. Once my brother smarted off to me and I defended myself and my mother

said something like " how can you talk to him that way, how would you feel if we

got into a war tomorrow and he got drafted and had to go off to war and got

killed? how would you feel then? " . I don't even think he was draft age...that

particular incident stands out because when she said 'how can you talk to him

that way' my brother said, 'I was being sarcastic to her' because I guess her

bias embarassed even him for once and he admitted to being in the wrong. that

was the only time he copped to it though she was always biased about him in this

way.

>

> I think this warped me because I became afraid to stand up for myself or 'talk

back' or defend myself. I can't get my breath and I stutter. I physically shake.

I mean it really affected me in terms of having the ability to speak out when I

am wronged or mistreated by someone. it's like I hyperventilate, I think my

child mind still thinks I have the power to kill them or something.

>

[Guest guest]

Hmmm....I think this helps explain why my nada told me I was going to die in a

car wreck every time I left the house without her. Some of you may recall that

I have a current hypothesis that my nada 'cut' herself through me--I was the one

she used to express her own physical violence against herself. Every time I

left she was scared she was going to die--so she told me *I* was going to die?

Maybe. Maybe she was trying to punish me for leaving or to manipulate me to

never leave the house without her. I'm not sure. All I know is that literally

every time I left the house, and especially if I left on a trip, she would

either say directly or imply with her shaky tone (in light of prior statements)

that I was going to die in a car wreck. Now, if SHE was with me, somehow the

danger wasn't there. And everybody else got to leave the damned house without

being told they were going to die.

This was one of the most difficult aspects of my adolescense, and at stressful

times I still have driving anxiety and hermit tendencies.

--CHarlie

> >

> > did anyone ever get this? I got it ALL the time growing up. My doing or

saying something might cause someone to have a heart attack and die. Or since I

just did or said that how would I feel if so and so had a heart attack and died

tomorrow. Once my brother smarted off to me and I defended myself and my mother

said something like " how can you talk to him that way, how would you feel if we

got into a war tomorrow and he got drafted and had to go off to war and got

killed? how would you feel then? " . I don't even think he was draft age...that

particular incident stands out because when she said 'how can you talk to him

that way' my brother said, 'I was being sarcastic to her' because I guess her

bias embarassed even him for once and he admitted to being in the wrong. that

was the only time he copped to it though she was always biased about him in this

way.

> >

> > I think this warped me because I became afraid to stand up for myself or

'talk back' or defend myself. I can't get my breath and I stutter. I physically

shake. I mean it really affected me in terms of having the ability to speak out

when I am wronged or mistreated by someone. it's like I hyperventilate, I think

my child mind still thinks I have the power to kill them or something.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>