what to feel and think about father

[Guest guest]

I have a nada and I've been NC for years now. Many people have understood that

I want to break off contact with nada, family friends, extended relatives,

people like that. However, I often get asked " but your dad...? "

I was close to him when I grew up, he was an ok parent, more like the normal not

so perfect but human parent who has a hard time with emotions, like that.

I went through a period during the last few years, where I had so much anger for

my father, and this was often reinforced on this board. I was angry because I

felt like he should have protected his children before caring for his nutty

wife. When I was a teenager, too, I used to yell at him to divorce his wife (my

nada).

But, now I am starting to have a different perspective. I think if he had

divorced her, it might have been worse. Can you imagine a custody battle with a

nada? Nada probably would have never let him see me again. Nada would have

split him completely terrible. It could have been worse.

Maybe it was better that he was there, within the FOO, to create some kind of

buffer zone to the nada world of Oz. maybe he wanted his children to grow up

with both parents in the home, older values...

Any thoughts/feelings?

Hugs,

Walkingto Happiness