Re: does anyone else have problems doing business with people?

[Guest guest]

Okay - I am NOT defending their lousy customer service, but you asked - so here

goes:

I'm assuming you're talking about meeting with them to do the regular sign-offs

and " punch lists " - and they should certainly be there when they say they will.

How about maybe confirming via cellphone before you leave the house (or your

office) to travel to the site, so you don't waste a trip? If they have a

problem on another site, or aren't ready to sign off on the work you're meeting

about, they probably think there's no point in having the meeting. Maybe they

aren't explaining this well.

Also - if you're now making a lot of changes to what you originally asked for,

be aware that those will all cost money and may require undoing work that's

already been done. And if you keep showing up just to " inspect " the work or

make changes, they will start avoiding you.

Once your house is done, you probably won't ever see these guys again, so they

have very little motivation to be gracious and cooperative. They get paid to do

the job, and then they move on to another project. Do you have a general

contractor who is the " big boss " of the project, has an ongoing relationship

with the workers and tradesmen, and can be more effective at keeping the

subcontractors on task? Does your contract have any clauses that allow you to

" dock " the builders if they fail to meet deadlines? And are they missing the

building deadlines, or just failing to show up when you want to meet with them?

It might help to just ask them when the best time is to meet with them - do they

arrive on site early in the morning to get work done before the day's heat sets

in? Do they take breaks during the heat of the day (so showing up in an

air-conditioned car would be a nice escape from the heat, even if you're having

a meeting while you sit there)? How many other sites does each contractor have?

I'm not saying they aren't jerks - they very well may be. But their priorities

are probably different from yours. If you can figure out why they work the way

they do, you might be able to get their attention more easily.

And listen- having a house built is incredibly stressful. It WILL END. But

this kind of stress and frustration is very common among people who are having

to deal with the home-building process.

>

> I am buying a house that's being built, and getting ignored by the builders.

We set up appointments, and they miss them and don't even acknowledge that I

waited. No apologies. I am financially stuck, they have my unrefundable money,

and I am furious. I know some of this is the lack of respect and bpd behavior on

their part triggering me. I emailed them and told them that their behavior was

unacceptable. We'll see how it goes now. Any suggestions? Thanks.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi HTMP,

I don't have much experience with building a house but I can relate to the

frustration- I have difficulty standing up for what I deserve whether it's in

relationships with friends or in business. I live in a luxury condo building

that prides itself on service and have had a similar problem. I have been

requesting repairs since Aug of last year and they still hadn't been done as of

a few weeks ago! I harassed the concierge on a daily basis and got nothing. I

finally sent an email to the manager telling her how long I had been waiting for

these repairs and I gave her a deadline that was more than reasonable for the

work that needed to be done. I stated that if it wasn't done by then I would

contact my lawyer and that I want him present at every future meeting with her.

It kind of sucks to have to send that kind of letter to a building manager who I

will be dealing with for a very long time...but...the repairs started the next

morning!

I understand your deeper frustration- I don't know if it's because we're too

flexible or " nice " , but I also worry about getting walked all over in business

situations. I was very frustrated with the situation with my building because my

neighbor- who is only one year older than me, seemed to command more respect. I

have recently been much less friendly and more of a b*tch and unfortunately, it

seems to get the job done.

If you're worried about the deeper issue, it helps to practice being assertive

in safe places first. Practice with close friends by just being less of a

pushover. You don't have to be rude but say what you actually want to do instead

of saying it doesn't matter. I also practiced this with the many volunteer

organizations I lead in the community. You don't have to practice being a b*tch,

just practice stating what you deserve and what needs to be done. And never ever

apologize for stating what you prefer doing or what you demand if it is what you

deserve. No " I know it's inconvenient but... " or " I'm sorry to ask this of

you... " . You'll really notice a difference if you don't give that apology- there

will be a difference in how people react to you and how you feel about yourself.

Good luck!

>

> I am buying a house that's being built, and getting ignored by the builders.

We set up appointments, and they miss them and don't even acknowledge that I

waited. No apologies. I am financially stuck, they have my unrefundable money,

and I am furious. I know some of this is the lack of respect and bpd behavior on

their part triggering me. I emailed them and told them that their behavior was

unacceptable. We'll see how it goes now. Any suggestions? Thanks.

>