Caution=Pity Party

[Guest guest]

All,

This is my 28th Wedding Anniversary and I promised myself I would try to go out

to eat and a movie, the Raven. I made it to Olive Garden, my husband had

gotten us a seat (I cannot, cannot sit in chairs, booths are better, so I can

slide my legs to side and relieve pressure of hips) I had walked to Lowes that

was close to see if they had window hummingbird feeders.

I told him, you know I only like marinara sauce so I will order when I get

there, go ahead and eat if you get hungry. Well, when I walk back to Olive

Garden, pain levels are to ten, I am sweating, pouring down me, and I find my

husband at a table with hard chairs and he had ordered me lasagna which I stated

I did not want.

So, here is the dilemma of all pain patients, keep quiet and continue to hurt,

escalating pain that is hard to control or to say something and seem ungrateful.

Since we had not been served yet, I asked if there was a bench seating, he

looked up and said NO. I also stated I would like a menu to order what I could

eat and he started to say my husband already ordered for me and I said, " He

didn't know " , " Also can you check if you have handicapped seating ? " . He got his

manager and she immediately moved me, seeing I was sweating dripping everywhere

to seating with bench and then got me a menu for me to order Zita which I like.

I ate some salad but while I was sitting there, I started going downhill. I told

my husband I love him dearly but I have to go to the car and lie down and this

is the reason I do not accept invitations especially from his Sister who is like

a pep rally and states " Yes, you can, Yes, you can " even when I state, " No, I

can't and she is always saying " Are you okay , are you okay " making me very self

conscious.

I wish I just had a friend that would sit by my side and be there and let me

know what a good friend I had been and still are, sending e-mails to all and

caring for them. Does this happen to me? NO, NEVER.

My limited family is self centered which is okay but I have painted and faux-ed

their bedrooms, picked out plants to repel deer, drove six hours to help pick

out the tile they needed, went to the border outlet on the way to my Dads and

sent it to their house and taught them how to place it, gave them collectible

Longaberger baskets that can be sold for hundreds as they are signed and they

thought me stupid.

I took classes to be Master Gardner and listed all types of plants and brought

different kinds each time I visited and wire sage colored planters to hank over

wrap around porch from a new three hundred thousand house to match shutters

(which were brand new even if from Goodwill). Showed them how to stipple and

faux paint and do chair railing and wainscoting.

I gave over four hundred ribosomes of my Canna as I could not keep up my yard

anymore.

My brother in law drove five hours with his tractor to help sod my other brother

in laws lawn but NEVER, NEVER, helped us when we lost our yard.

This is what HURTS and I probably could ask but the point is, they didn't have

to ask, I offered and where are the people like us that are that way, the ones

who usually become caregivers.

Well that is my pity party and wish I could do more.

I wish I had high flower beds where I did not have to bend over to plant, a

garden pond with waterfall, canna of floral plants to attract butterfly and

birds. Do you think one of those shows from DIY or make your yard over would

come to my house? I am really thankful and know others do not have it as well

but this is my wish. Does anyone write well that would write Yard Crashers for

me HA!

I am looking forward to the day. Love to all in the spring days of musical

birds. bennie