Teasing versus belittling

[Guest guest]

This just hit me today as I was cleaning the bathroom and thinking. Maybe

I'm a slow learner, but I have always hated the way my parents (both of

them) " tease " me about things I did or said as a child. It's way beyond normal

teasing for cute things kids say because it was never about cute things I

did or said, it was always about WEIRD things or BAD things.

And it hit me that this is not teasing in good fun and I was not the 'poor

sport' or " too sensitive " child my parents claimed I was. It was flat out

belittling me.

And even today, I am overly sensitive to people making jokes towards me

even when it IS in good fun. I get pissed off and will freak out if someone

does it. It bothers me SO MUCH.

I'm an adult now and you'd think I could take it, but my father (who is

probably bpd too) does exactly what my mother used to do EVEN NOW. It drives

me crazy.

I don't think I was overly sensitive. I think they were INSENSITIVE to my

personality and my feelings.

I have 3 kids and all 3 of them have very different personalities. My

daughter does not like to be teased in ANY way...even if she does something

funny, if she doesn't mean it funny and you laugh, she will cry. We have to be

very careful about it. My 8 year old? He doesn't care. In fact, if you

laugh at something he does, he'll just repeat it ad nauseum until someone tells

him, " okay, not cute anymore...please stop! " My oldest son is 12 and he's

a little more like my daughter in that he doesn't like being teased

either. Not that we're all stick-in-the-muds as parents, but I try to be

sensitive to their particular personalities.

One thing nadas do is never consider our feelings or personalities...our

genetic makeup...as being different and unique.

Any thoughts?