my father has a fabulous way of making things all about him

[Guest guest]

I have not spoken to my father in weeks. Mostly because his new wife has put

such a wedge between us. Anyway, today he calls but I didnt answer. He left me a

message that said, " Here's your sorry dad calling you. "

Ugh.

He can't apologize. He can't even call without making some stupid remark to try

to guilt me. I wanted to leave him a message in return and say, " you're

right...you are sorry!! "

[Guest guest]

I can relate to that. With my dad everything he does is the right thing or if

the infinitessimally rare event occurs where he does something he can't justify

then it just didn't happen. He can make the most wrong thing right. I remember

last fall I was looking for a weed-eater I'd left in his garage, he said " it

broke and I took it to the dump " . I was like " i've had it for six years " meaning

I was pissed he just took the liberty of throwing it out after he apparently

broke it. He said " well I guess you got your money's worth then. " End of

discussion. No 'sorry I broke it', or 'sorry I threw it out' or 'sorry I broke

it, threw it out, and didn't bother to tell you' or whatever. Just 'what I did

was right and you are wrong to question me about it'.

>

>

> I have not spoken to my father in weeks. Mostly because his new wife has put

such a wedge between us. Anyway, today he calls but I didnt answer. He left me a

message that said, " Here's your sorry dad calling you. "

>

> Ugh.

>

> He can't apologize. He can't even call without making some stupid remark to

try to guilt me. I wanted to leave him a message in return and say, " you're

right...you are sorry!! "

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

sometimes, for some stupid reason, it IS hard for people, especially men,

and especially fathers to apologize to others..especially their children..I

would accept this as an apology...he is acknowledging he was in the

wrong...I guess it just matters on how much you want a relationship with

him...

Jackie

I have not spoken to my father in weeks. Mostly because his new wife has put

such a wedge between us. Anyway, today he calls but I didnt answer. He left

me a message that said, " Here's your sorry dad calling you. "

Ugh.

He can't apologize. He can't even call without making some stupid remark to

try to guilt me. I wanted to leave him a message in return and say, " you're

right...you are sorry!! "

[Guest guest]

yeah. I played the message for my therapist tonight and she said, " wow...sounds

like he's admitting he's wrong. " I haven't called him back yet. Not sure when I

will.

I kind of need to cool off.

Re: my father has a fabulous way of making things

all about him

sometimes, for some stupid reason, it IS hard for people, especially men,

and especially fathers to apologize to others..especially their children..I

would accept this as an apology...he is acknowledging he was in the

wrong...I guess it just matters on how much you want a relationship with

him...

Jackie

I have not spoken to my father in weeks. Mostly because his new wife has put

such a wedge between us. Anyway, today he calls but I didnt answer. He left

me a message that said, " Here's your sorry dad calling you. "

Ugh.

He can't apologize. He can't even call without making some stupid remark to

try to guilt me. I wanted to leave him a message in return and say, " you're

right...you are sorry!! "

[Guest guest]

take all the time you need...never rush these things...when you are ready,

then call him back :-)

Jackie

yeah. I played the message for my therapist tonight and she said,

" wow...sounds like he's admitting he's wrong. " I haven't called him back

yet. Not sure when I will.

I kind of need to cool off.