NADA Triangulation with me and my sis

[Guest guest]

So..some of you have read of my recent drama on here. My nada found out that I

talk to my dad and step mom. Nada told my sister. My sister (and nada) now HATE

me. They refuse to speak to me.

I made an attempt to comminicate with nada. That was a bust. Not going to try

again for a long time, if ever.

Haven't tried to talk to my sis yet. We work in the same building (although, not

together in the same dept) but see each other often enough. She won't look at me

when I walk by. Just stares off with her lips pursed. She doesn't call or text

me like she used to (we had a decent relationship for a short period of time

before all this went down).

I've considered calling her one night after work to see if she wants to talk.

I've thought about emailing, texting, whatever.

I know the result will probably be bad. She will feel toward me whatever nada

feels toward me. In fact, she didn't even talk to me again until I stopped being

NC with nada.

I guess I've just answered my own question on whether or not I should try to

contact or salvage my " relationship " with her.

Whatever happened with having unconditional love for your family? all they are

doing is setting conditions. My nada literally said that " if you keep

associating with those people, I can't have a relationship with you. I just

can't. I won't " .

Makes no sense.

I can get over nada. I just hate having to get over sis at the same time.

How many times do I have to " Mourn " them before I learn my lesson and leave them

alone forever?

~Sara Jo

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry. I know that is so tough, especially when you have to see her

every day. I do believe the painted white or 'golden' child does have a vested

interest in keeping the painted black child in that position though. I am sorry

that she isn't capable of thinking for herself, it's awful to realize how

enmeshed a sibling can be with a parent. My sister is like this with my father,

though his behavior is inexcusable most of the time and has been for my whole

life. But she is always eager to make me the villian and put him in the martyr

position. I think some siblings do this just because there is trauma they don't

want to go anywhere near. For my sister, it's definitely true. There is trauma

with my father she can't allow herself to get near, so this is her solution.

It's really the easier way out than facing the truth. I personally am grateful

in a sense that I was painted black because I had no choice but to see the

truth.

>

> So..some of you have read of my recent drama on here. My nada found out that I

talk to my dad and step mom. Nada told my sister. My sister (and nada) now HATE

me. They refuse to speak to me.

>

> I made an attempt to comminicate with nada. That was a bust. Not going to try

again for a long time, if ever.

>

> Haven't tried to talk to my sis yet. We work in the same building (although,

not together in the same dept) but see each other often enough. She won't look

at me when I walk by. Just stares off with her lips pursed. She doesn't call or

text me like she used to (we had a decent relationship for a short period of

time before all this went down).

>

> I've considered calling her one night after work to see if she wants to talk.

I've thought about emailing, texting, whatever.

>

> I know the result will probably be bad. She will feel toward me whatever nada

feels toward me. In fact, she didn't even talk to me again until I stopped being

NC with nada.

>

> I guess I've just answered my own question on whether or not I should try to

contact or salvage my " relationship " with her.

>

> Whatever happened with having unconditional love for your family? all they are

doing is setting conditions. My nada literally said that " if you keep

associating with those people, I can't have a relationship with you. I just

can't. I won't " .

>

> Makes no sense.

>

> I can get over nada. I just hate having to get over sis at the same time.

>

> How many times do I have to " Mourn " them before I learn my lesson and leave

them alone forever?

>

> ~Sara Jo

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, the black and white stuff.

Funny thing is, I was all white and my sis was all black when we were kids and

growing up. It was when I grew into an adult and opened my eyes to nadas

craziness THEN I became all black and my sister all white.

So, I do understand my sisters position in a way. I've been there. I've been on

the other side, when my sister was all black. I didn't always treat her the best

during those situations. I have since apologized to her on countless

occasions...and she never seemed to hold a grudge about it.

I just wish she could open her eyes and think for herself.

I love her so much. I love being around her. I miss her.

~Sara Jo

> >

> > So..some of you have read of my recent drama on here. My nada found out that

I talk to my dad and step mom. Nada told my sister. My sister (and nada) now

HATE me. They refuse to speak to me.

> >

> > I made an attempt to comminicate with nada. That was a bust. Not going to

try again for a long time, if ever.

> >

> > Haven't tried to talk to my sis yet. We work in the same building (although,

not together in the same dept) but see each other often enough. She won't look

at me when I walk by. Just stares off with her lips pursed. She doesn't call or

text me like she used to (we had a decent relationship for a short period of

time before all this went down).

> >

> > I've considered calling her one night after work to see if she wants to

talk. I've thought about emailing, texting, whatever.

> >

> > I know the result will probably be bad. She will feel toward me whatever

nada feels toward me. In fact, she didn't even talk to me again until I stopped

being NC with nada.

> >

> > I guess I've just answered my own question on whether or not I should try to

contact or salvage my " relationship " with her.

> >

> > Whatever happened with having unconditional love for your family? all they

are doing is setting conditions. My nada literally said that " if you keep

associating with those people, I can't have a relationship with you. I just

can't. I won't " .

> >

> > Makes no sense.

> >

> > I can get over nada. I just hate having to get over sis at the same time.

> >

> > How many times do I have to " Mourn " them before I learn my lesson and leave

them alone forever?

> >

> > ~Sara Jo

> >

>