NADA?!?.........: Re: Life Long Trauma & Birth

[Guest guest]

Hi, andra--welcome!

Nada means a BPD mother who was " nothing " as a parent. If you are referring to

a BPD father, the term is " fada. "

Check out this webpage. It helped me a lot when I first joined!

http://www.bpd411.org/glossary.html

Blessings,

Karla

>

>

> Subject: Re: Re: Life Long Trauma & Birth

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Wednesday, June 30, 2010, 5:49 PM

>

> I understand.  My one sister says the same thing  of when her 2 kids were

> born ( and they were healthy)  that  she had always dreamed of having our

> mother with her when they were born and to help out for a couple of

> weeks...nope, not with a nada :-(

>

> Jackie

>

>

>

> I didn't have a name for my Mother's problems when my son was born (other

> than the very general term " nuckin fut " ) but bc of her instability, rages

> and cruel remarks, I told my mother she could not come for his birth. Yes,

> this was an extremely awkward conversation, but I did not want the focus of

> that magical time to be on mother and on trying to guage when she might

> " blow. " my husband and I are pretty much on our own and that was hard. It

> still hurts that I had to be on my own with my son before he was a week old

> after nearly 24 hours of active labor and nearly 4 hours in the delivery

> room and what my doctor called a " blowout " birth and no mom to be there. I

> didn't even expect sympathy from her bc she actually once told me (when she

> was angry about something I wouldn't do) " Dont expect any sympathy from me

> when you have a baby! I won't listen and I won't help! " My husband owns his

> own business and in this economy...  He was there more than we could afford,

> but I was devastated not to have the motherly help, comfort, and presence

> all my friends received. (My MIL is deceased.) I just don't trust her to

> hold it together and to focus on what is important - and she's so sensitive

> that if I don't do everything her way she comes unglued. So I don't really

> think I'm traumatized per se, but it is a lingering disappointment that I am

> so sad had to become part of my reality.

>

>

>

>

>

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