Not sure what to do about Christmas with my Nada

[Guest guest]

Hi! So I'm quite new to this site but it's awesome. I already feel such loving

support from all of you. Here are several of my concerns:

-My husband helped me discover that my mom is a BP Nada because he spent 2

hellish days in her home last week. I feel guilty because I didn't really stand

up for him in front of my NADA while we were there because I want to be a good

daughter to her and I am deep in her FOG. I didn't put him down or gang up on

him but I kinda just let things happen. He says he will NEVER stay in her home

again and that's fine but now we're trying to figure out what to do for

Christmas. He is willing to stay in a hotel nearby but we are both stressed

about a crappy Christmas and we both feel she will blow up no matter what. Is

it even worth it to go for Christmas? We have an impending sense of dread. She

will be hurt on top of all of it that we are not staying in her house. You know

how it goes " your husband is trying to pull our family apart by not staying

here " and " you are letting your husband control you " etc. What are your

recommendations?

-My overarching concern - I am a nonBP but fear (as does my husband) that I

could become a BP one day. Have you seen these symptoms in yourselves? How do

you hold back if you do? So far I have been fine but life is long. I'm 30...