Time to move on - Help, please?

[Guest guest]

I've been NC w/ nada for almost two years now. I've been angry. Very, very

angry. And I've been furious about what she did to me my whole life and how she

betrays me actively every day. (My BP/NP abusive ex-husband is welcomed in all

my FOO events, and I am excluded).

I've been realizing, though . . .it's time to move on. It's time to lay down

some of the vengence and anger and hatred. Not because she deserves it, but

because this stuff is cheating me out of my life of success and freedom, in a

way.

The anger and vengence and hatred has served me very well. It was the only way

I could get safe and not be hoovered. But now, thanks to this group and some

significant healing, I think have enough personal strength to fend for myself

without the hatred. It used to serve me well, and now its just holding me back.

I'm not excusing nada, fada, or anyone else in my FOO (BP/NP ex-husband

included, since he is so much like them). I'm not minimizing their crazy nor

their destruction. I'm not saying what they do against me every day is okay.

I'm not saying I want to be in their lives, and will continue to defend my

boundaries. I'm not saying I won't feel sad or angry about it anymore, because

seems to be part of being a non, like it or not.

I'm just realizing its time to lay some of my vengence needs down. Its time to

release some of the anger and hatred. It's time to lay some of this demand for

justice down and move on.

Does anyone have any advice? Ideas? I'm just so stuck here. I want to release

some of this so I can go get the real life I deserve. They will be who they

will be. I can't change that. But I'm hoping to cut one more tie with them by

letting go of some of this stuff.

Thanks