Re: I don't want you kids to feel like you have to watch over my every move!

[Guest guest]

Fiona,

The bondage will only end when the people being held by it

refuse to let it happen any more. Your brother's situation does

sound very sad. He could choose not to do what she wants though.

If he's going to the beach for the weekend instead of visiting

her, that at least sounds like a start even if he did ask for

her permission.

I hope you enjoy a nice nada-free vacation.

At 10:14 AM 07/11/2010 Fiona wrote:

>I'm still shaking my head!

>

>just to set the stage, I'm going on vacation tomorrow for a

>week. My nada annually goes into a severe anxiety attack when I

>go away with my family. She gets bitchier than usual and calls

>more than usual. Many of her comments around this time of year

>are tinged with our abandonment of her. She ALWAYS asks if

>I'll call every morning, just " so I know you're all ok. " I

>ALWAYS tell her no, that I'll call when I return.

>

>I had told my brother ahead of time that I was going away and

>that he would need to " keep an eye on mom. " Really, I said

>that to him b/c he likes playing the good son and if I hadn't

>told him I'd be away, he'd have a self-righteous fit about

>letting him knowing ahead of time, what about poor mom, etc.?? "

>

>NOW, nada calls to tell me about some thing...then gets to the

>REAL reason for her call: " your brother just called to ask me

>if I minded if he doesn't come over next weekend. "

>

>I felt so sad for my brother. He's 46, never been married, no

>kids, rents an old lady's attic and stays at my mother's every

>other weekend. It's sad that he's asking her PERMISSION about

>not coming over this weekend, b/c he'd really like to go to the

>beach. I know it's killing him.

>

>Like it's evil to want to bathe in the ocean instead of sitting

>in her stuffy, un-air-conditioned apartment all weekend,

>watching I Love Lucy and cooking shows.

>

>Nada went on in that slightly hysterical voice she puts on to

>make herself sound brave, " I said to him 'of course, i want you

>to enjoy your life. i don't want you kids thinking you have to

>watch over my every move or keep me company all the time!

>[nervous laughter] I'm going to call my friend Sally to invite

>her out to breakfast; SHE listens to me on the phone and has

>been a good friend! "

>

>All of this she says in a Scarlett O'Hara " tomorrow's another

>day " kind of " screw you all " voice.

>

>When will this bondage ever end??? This sick, sick,

>suffocating enmeshment.

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

it ill never end unless you and your brother put your foot down and stop

catering to your nadas wants. my nada called all of us kids, a few years

ago, and she told us we had to tell her where we were going on vacation

when we were leaving when we'd be back in case of an emergency. Did she

think if there was something going on, that I'd leave a much needed vacation

?? I told her what's the point ?? she said what if I died ?? I said you'd

still be dead when we got home !!

Jackie

>When will this bondage ever end??? This sick, sick, suffocating

>enmeshment.