I don't want you kids to feel like you have to watch over my every move!

July 11, 2010

I'm still shaking my head!

just to set the stage, I'm going on vacation tomorrow for a week. My nada

annually goes into a severe anxiety attack when I go away with my family. She

gets bitchier than usual and calls more than usual. Many of her comments around

this time of year are tinged with our abandonment of her. She ALWAYS asks if

I'll call every morning, just " so I know you're all ok. " I ALWAYS tell her no,

that I'll call when I return.

I had told my brother ahead of time that I was going away and that he would need

to " keep an eye on mom. " Really, I said that to him b/c he likes playing the

good son and if I hadn't told him I'd be away, he'd have a self-righteous fit

about letting him knowing ahead of time, what about poor mom, etc.?? "

NOW, nada calls to tell me about some thing...then gets to the REAL reason for

her call: " your brother just called to ask me if I minded if he doesn't come

over next weekend. "

I felt so sad for my brother. He's 46, never been married, no kids, rents an old

lady's attic and stays at my mother's every other weekend. It's sad that he's

asking her PERMISSION about not coming over this weekend, b/c he'd really like

to go to the beach. I know it's killing him.

Like it's evil to want to bathe in the ocean instead of sitting in her stuffy,

un-air-conditioned apartment all weekend, watching I Love Lucy and cooking

shows.

Nada went on in that slightly hysterical voice she puts on to make herself sound

brave, " I said to him 'of course, i want you to enjoy your life. i don't want

you kids thinking you have to watch over my every move or keep me company all

the time! [nervous laughter] I'm going to call my friend Sally to invite her out

to breakfast; SHE listens to me on the phone and has been a good friend! "

All of this she says in a Scarlett O'Hara " tomorrow's another day " kind of

" screw you all " voice.

When will this bondage ever end??? This sick, sick, suffocating enmeshment.

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