Guest guest Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 We were talking about how they have a difficult time being supportive when you really need someone...need a mother. Even though they may or may not have a desire to be. They don't seem to have the ability. It occurred to me the other day, when my ex-mother in law became ill (had surgery-all well planned in advance), and my nada was right there by my side saying, " She will have to go to a rest home now. " Then, nada told me that we'd have to go get my severely autistic son from his fathers house right now and bring him here, and she'd help me take care of him. Now, I'm not stupid. I know that all that " care " would be me taking care of both of them. It also occurred to me that she had created an entire doomsday scenario that does not exist. Vastly increasing my stress load. And then offered to help me with it. My ex mother in law is not going to a nursing home, she just had surgery. She has two adult caretakers at her home including her husband and my ex. I am not going to run up and bring my autistic son here, right now and add to an already stressful baby sitting job with of her. But, all day, she'd run in panicking and almost seemed like trying to upset me. I was so tired from having my son all day yesterday and he had just left last night to my exs. But, she would not leave it alone. She would not leave me alone. I needed to just sit down and have it quiet. But, blah, blah, blah she kept on. It seems, looking back over the years that she has done this to me time and time again. Created some drama, intensifying some situation (if not just inventing a problem) and then offering to help me with it. Is that how they care by creating a problem for you? I think she was probably missing my son. Some how this has to come back around to her and something she wants to manipulate into her life. I found it really funny that she could that easily throw the other grandma into a rest home. But, she really thinks we all want to and will take care of her forever...never putting her into one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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