Re: broke NC, regret it

[Guest guest]

Wow. Isn't it a shocker when you've had a little distance and go back? The

longer I'm NC, the more I look at my FOO and realize that THEY ARE REALLY

GENUINELY FREAKIN' CRAZY!!!! It makes me wonder how I could have missed that

all these years, even if they are highly functional.

If I may, don't regret it too much. At the end of the day, it was a conversation

that informed you and gave you a bit more clarity and personal strength. And

your kids learned something that day about wisdom when it comes to dealing with

nada and those who are like her. That will serve them very well later on in

life.

Which doesn't take away from how sad it is to lose one more piece of hope.

Sorry she . . . acted so BP. I know that sounds silly, but I don't know how

else to say it. It hurts no matter what when they do that.

Blessings,

Karla

>

> I've been NC with nada for about a year and a half, it's been 2 years since

> I've actually seen her.

>

> My parents are divorced, my father is bipolar and not super stable, and has

> been divorced from nada for 15 years, longer than he was married to her.

> About a week ago I went to an extended family reunion for my dad's family. I

> went with an aunt, as my dad wasn't feeling well. On the way back, when I

> was trapped in the car, my Aunt G went on and on about poor nada and how

> hard it was to her, and how MEAN it was of me to not talk to her, and that

> it all must be miscommunication and nada didn't really do XYZ, and how nada

> has changed! I tried to explain the situation to her, but it was like it

> always is with flying monkeys, she didn't want to even give me a chance to

> explain, she didn't want to hear it, she just wants me to make poor, poor

> nada feel better.

>

> After the reunion I gave my dad a call to tell him about the trip, and he

> freaked out on me on the phone because I had spent the night in nada's town

> and not gone to see her or called her. He was lecturing me and lecturing me

> (I'm almost 30 years old btw, with 3 kids, a little old for this kind of

> treatment!) to the point I finally had to say 'dad i'll talk to you later, i

> have to go' and hung up on him. That was a week ago and he hasn't called me

> since.

>

> So yesterday out of frustration I called Nada. It was surreal. She just

> talked like nothing had ever happened. But you know what? She hasn't

> changed. I was right. First of all, she had my stepfather, who totally

> enables her, listen in on the conversation. A total boundry violation. This

> man isn't my father, she married him after I was married. All of the sudden

> was on the line wanting to talk to me and it was obvious she had him

> listening in. It was really creepy. Then she started 'apologizing' but she

> was sorry for any 'misinformation' I had recieved, not for the specific

> things she knows that she did, or refuses to admit that she did, or anything

> that might admit that she made a mistake. Does she not remember? Is she just

> that ok with lying? Was she not going to admit to anything with my

> stepfather on the phone? Who knows.

>

> The kicker though, was my kids. I have a 7 year old, 4 year old, and a 2

> year old. Nada kept saying that she wanted us to visit. I told her money is

> tight right now and we don't have the resources for a trip, but maybe some

> other time. She kept pushing and pushing for me to SEND MY KIDS to stay with

> her WITHOUT ME. I kept politly saying we would come visit some other time,

> and asked her why it was so important to see the kids without me? She said

> it wasn't that, but then kept pushing the issue. I got off the phone after

> that.

>

> I'm annoyed that I called her, but in a way, it makes me feel better. The

> next time my family tries to corner me, I at least have some evidence of her

> creepy behavior. I'm going to have to call my father today and make things

> clear once and for all. I'm done with the triangulating. If he continues to

> talk to her I'm going to have to go LC with him as well. I'm tired of my

> interactions with the family I do have left, who aren't even related to her

> (!!) being ruined by nada. I'm done with it. They may chose not to see the

> truth, or to keep playing her games, but I don't want to hear about it. And

> I don't want my kids around it.

>

> I would have prefered to stay NC forever, but in a way this was good for my

> head. Sometimes all the flying monkeys make you crazy, you know? But nadas

> just don't change. I wish that wasn't the truth, but it is what it is.

>

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