broke NC, regret it

[Guest guest]

I've been NC with nada for about a year and a half, it's been 2 years since

I've actually seen her.

My parents are divorced, my father is bipolar and not super stable, and has

been divorced from nada for 15 years, longer than he was married to her.

About a week ago I went to an extended family reunion for my dad's family. I

went with an aunt, as my dad wasn't feeling well. On the way back, when I

was trapped in the car, my Aunt G went on and on about poor nada and how

hard it was to her, and how MEAN it was of me to not talk to her, and that

it all must be miscommunication and nada didn't really do XYZ, and how nada

has changed! I tried to explain the situation to her, but it was like it

always is with flying monkeys, she didn't want to even give me a chance to

explain, she didn't want to hear it, she just wants me to make poor, poor

nada feel better.

After the reunion I gave my dad a call to tell him about the trip, and he

freaked out on me on the phone because I had spent the night in nada's town

and not gone to see her or called her. He was lecturing me and lecturing me

(I'm almost 30 years old btw, with 3 kids, a little old for this kind of

treatment!) to the point I finally had to say 'dad i'll talk to you later, i

have to go' and hung up on him. That was a week ago and he hasn't called me

since.

So yesterday out of frustration I called Nada. It was surreal. She just

talked like nothing had ever happened. But you know what? She hasn't

changed. I was right. First of all, she had my stepfather, who totally

enables her, listen in on the conversation. A total boundry violation. This

man isn't my father, she married him after I was married. All of the sudden

was on the line wanting to talk to me and it was obvious she had him

listening in. It was really creepy. Then she started 'apologizing' but she

was sorry for any 'misinformation' I had recieved, not for the specific

things she knows that she did, or refuses to admit that she did, or anything

that might admit that she made a mistake. Does she not remember? Is she just

that ok with lying? Was she not going to admit to anything with my

stepfather on the phone? Who knows.

The kicker though, was my kids. I have a 7 year old, 4 year old, and a 2

year old. Nada kept saying that she wanted us to visit. I told her money is

tight right now and we don't have the resources for a trip, but maybe some

other time. She kept pushing and pushing for me to SEND MY KIDS to stay with

her WITHOUT ME. I kept politly saying we would come visit some other time,

and asked her why it was so important to see the kids without me? She said

it wasn't that, but then kept pushing the issue. I got off the phone after

that.

I'm annoyed that I called her, but in a way, it makes me feel better. The

next time my family tries to corner me, I at least have some evidence of her

creepy behavior. I'm going to have to call my father today and make things

clear once and for all. I'm done with the triangulating. If he continues to

talk to her I'm going to have to go LC with him as well. I'm tired of my

interactions with the family I do have left, who aren't even related to her

(!!) being ruined by nada. I'm done with it. They may chose not to see the

truth, or to keep playing her games, but I don't want to hear about it. And

I don't want my kids around it.

I would have prefered to stay NC forever, but in a way this was good for my

head. Sometimes all the flying monkeys make you crazy, you know? But nadas

just don't change. I wish that wasn't the truth, but it is what it is.