Guest guest Posted July 17, 2010 Report Share Posted July 17, 2010 Isn't it a great technique ;-) I remember working at a summer camp for kids ages 3 to 10 when I was 15. I noticed SO many similarities between my Nada and my group of 5-year-olds, so I just started talking to her and treating her like a 5-year-old. Our relationship improved DRAMATICALLY! She usually gives me BS about " not respecting her " " not giving her enough credit " " turning into a mother-hating American " etc... but treating her like a 5-year old was A-OK!!! =P -Frances > > I want to thank whoever here said that it helped them to envision their nada as a 2-year old. > > I've been trying to use my imagination to help me in dealing with her. > > One friend had suggested I refer to her, even if it's just in my head, by her first name, to weaken the powerful associations I have with her in my psyche. That didn't really help. > > I called her today after being away for a week. I talk to her every day and told her before leaving, " I'll call you when I get back on Friday. " She didn't like that, but I wasn't going to budge on that. > > When I called her today, I did so with the firm thought in my mind of myself calling a little 2-year old girl. Oh my gosh, this was FANTASTIC, in dialing down my anxiety at how she was going to crap on me (which she did). > > I called, she picked up, I said, " Hey mom! how are you?! " > > Her (SOOO like a little kid): " oh! you finally decided to call me. when did you get in? " > > Me: a little while ago. how are you? > > Her: I had no way to reach you all week. > > Me: (ignoring her) how've you been? > > Her: Fine, hot. how are the girls...blah blah blah > > > i'm going to keep trying to remember this technique; it just takes the edge off dealing with her. I actually felt more of a pity for her than fear or anxiety. > > Had to share! > > Fiona > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2010 Report Share Posted July 18, 2010 Frances, That's hilarious! I love it. And how sad is it that the only way to have a sane relationship is to treat our mothers like children?? > > > > I want to thank whoever here said that it helped them to envision their nada as a 2-year old. > > > > I've been trying to use my imagination to help me in dealing with her. > > > > One friend had suggested I refer to her, even if it's just in my head, by her first name, to weaken the powerful associations I have with her in my psyche. That didn't really help. > > > > I called her today after being away for a week. I talk to her every day and told her before leaving, " I'll call you when I get back on Friday. " She didn't like that, but I wasn't going to budge on that. > > > > When I called her today, I did so with the firm thought in my mind of myself calling a little 2-year old girl. Oh my gosh, this was FANTASTIC, in dialing down my anxiety at how she was going to crap on me (which she did). > > > > I called, she picked up, I said, " Hey mom! how are you?! " > > > > Her (SOOO like a little kid): " oh! you finally decided to call me. when did you get in? " > > > > Me: a little while ago. how are you? > > > > Her: I had no way to reach you all week. > > > > Me: (ignoring her) how've you been? > > > > Her: Fine, hot. how are the girls...blah blah blah > > > > > > i'm going to keep trying to remember this technique; it just takes the edge off dealing with her. I actually felt more of a pity for her than fear or anxiety. > > > > Had to share! > > > > Fiona > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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